About Last Night
by Dawning Juliet
Summary: Edward had a good life, and he thought he had it all figured out. But then a certain vampire crosses his path and, suddenly, everything changes. Sometimes, you just can't fight fate.
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

Since you are reading this story, you're probably automatically assuming that I'm alive. It would be a hasty conclusion. I don't necessarily have to be living to tell my tale; there are other means.

I was a regular guy, doing regular things, enjoying all the promise of being twenty-one years old. I had great friends, a loving girlfriend, and an amazing family. Life was good. But then…

Then, I saw her. And, in that moment, I knew. Nothing would ever be the same again.

My name is Edward A. M. Cullen. This is my story.

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CHAPTER ONE

"Shhhhhh!"

My head snapped around, and I muttered a contrite apology, folding my hands together. "Sorry."

I'd been staring at the same page of my Business Law book for over ten minutes now, not taking in a word of what I was reading. The boredom of the topic drove my fingers to drum on the tabletop one of the songs that we'd be playing tonight at Club Perestroika. My mind had been running through our set for the past thirty minutes.

The second I stopped drumming and brought my mind back to the present, I realized how eerily quiet the library was, and how much of a racket my drumming must have made in this silence. And there it was again, the prickling on the back of my neck, the unshakeable sensation that someone was watching me. I looked around futilely; no one was even looking in my direction. Giving up on studying for now, I gathered my books and headed outside.

I jogged across campus to retrieve my car, eyeing warily the rain clouds that were quickly closing in. I hoped to be ensconced in my Volvo before the storm hit. I moved faster.

No such luck. I looked like someone dumped a bucket of water specifically over my head before I made it to the car. My hair was plastered to my forehead, my t-shirt and flannel shirt were glued to my torso, like cold hands squeezing me. I unlocked the car from a distance and hurled myself into it, flicking on the heater, full blast. The hot air blowing around me was comforting, loosening the cold grasp on my chest.

Again, I felt eyes on me. Before I could stop myself, I looked around the car, but of course, I saw nothing. The windows were a blur of fog and rain. I shook my head, telling myself to stop being paranoid. As I started the car, the windshield wipers came to life, and then I saw it. A couple dozen yards ahead, behind a thick tree, someone stood. Her eyes were fixed on me, as if an invisible steel cable connected her to me. I started with a gasp as my gaze fell on hers, but the rain as too thick, I could barely see. I turned up the wipers' speed to clear the windshield, but when I looked up again a second later, she was no longer there.

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Emmett, Jasper, James and I were on the small stage at Perestroika setting up our instruments and doing sound checks. The club was not open yet, but it'd be easier for everyone to get this done now, even though we were not going on until eleven. The only sounds in the place were our rummaging around the stage, and Paul, the bartender, restocking the bar and clinking glasses as he stacked them. There was usually a good turnout when we played, and he knew he'd need the extra stock to keep the crowd supplied with drinks.

"Yo, Masen, pass me those cables," James asked, pointing to the mess of cables by my feet. He was sitting on a stool with his guitar on his lap. I guessed he wanted to plug in his amp to tune it; it had sounded kind of iffy in rehearsal yesterday. James was the newest member of Babylon, our little garage band. We lost our second guitar a couple of months ago when he graduated and moved to the east coast. I had been sad to see him go; Embry was a good guy and a good musician. We were still getting our bearings with James, but he seemed to be doing okay. I just had a weird feeling about him, sometimes.

I tossed the cables in his direction, and he mumbled a "Fanks," around the tuner he was holding in his mouth as he bent down to retrieve the cable.

Emmett was behind me setting up his drums and banging out a few beats until he was satisfied that everything was set to his liking. I couldn't help thinking to myself how appropriate an instrument Emmett had chosen for himself. Big, chest-thumping Emmett, who looked more like a bouncer in the club than a musician due to his linebacker build, was actually an extremely accomplished drummer.

I played a few chords on my bass, and Jasper walked closer to me, guitar at the ready, harmonizing with my sound, a smile on his face. I've always enjoyed playing with my brother; we began taking guitar lessons when we were seven. We had both shown a keen interest in the drums, and mom had the wise idea to head us off at the pass and present us with guitars and a teacher. While Jasper fell in love with the instrument and never looked back, I switched to the bass a couple of years later, though I still played the guitar well enough.

For a while there, I had considered majoring in music. Not long after I picked up the bass, I started piano lessons as well, and fell in love again. What can I say, I'm a musical man-whore. Our father, however, the illustrious Edward Masen, Sr., wouldn't hear of it. Ah well, being a business major was not all that bad. I was just not passionate about it.

Jasper and I drew our little duet to a close, and he moved to set up the mic. He brushed his blond curls off his forehead the better to see what he was doing, and I could already hear the screaming madness that would ensue tonight every time he did just that. Jasper had a way of bewitching the girls that I had never mastered. _Smooth bastard._ But I never begrudged him his god given talent for having girls fall at his feet; I'd benefited from that on more than one occasion.

Valentin came in from the back room as I set my bass on its stand. He was the owner of Perestroika, and the guy who let us play our first gig in a public venue a year ago. Valentin stood in front of the stage, scratching his goatee and examining our work.

"Everything ready for tonight, yes?" He asked in his heavy Russian accent.

"We're good to go, Val," Jasper reassured him.

"Good, good. And not too much of the air humping tonight, eh?" He admonished Jasper, who burst into laughter.

"Can't promise that, Val. Gotta give the ladies what they want," Jasper said, winking and flashing his best smile.

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The club was packed to capacity. Lenny was just finishing his set, and we'd be on in twenty. Lenny was Jasper's competition in the panty-dropping department. He played acoustic guitar and sang soulfully, like a less talented John Meyer, but the women ate it up. He was just finishing his last song, and we could hear the girls squealing. Jasper shot me a meaningful look and shook his head, grinning.

"Baby! I just came in so give you a kiss good luck," Tanya said as she came barreling towards me behind the stage.

Tanya and I had been going out for almost a year now. It wasn't one of those relationships where you see fireworks and hear opera in your head every time you kiss, but we had a good thing going. We cared about each other a lot, and I believed we had the potential to grow into something deeper over time.

"Thanks, Tanya," I said, returning her kiss. "I'll see you after the set, 'kay?"

She smiled at me and gave me a little wave as she walked away. Hmmm she was wearing _those_ jeans. Naughty girl, she knew just how to entice me. I grinned lazily at her retreating figure.

Valentin hopped on the stage then and reached for the mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for! Give it up for Babylon!"

His introduction made us chuckle every time. Honestly, this was a little dive bar, maybe 300 people out there to see us play, and he announced our set like we were playing Madison Square Garden.

I took a last swig of my beer and followed behind James onto the stage. Emmett was the first one up there and he was saluting the crowd, who started to hoot wildly as soon as Jasper was in view. Those two enjoyed the attention way more than they should.

Tonight we were playing a mix of our own compositions and some covers. Jasper began playing the opening bars of _Hanging Gardens_, one of our songs. It was a favorite of our regular audience.

As soon as we began to play, the lights dimmed, and I lost myself in the music, as I always did. My senses focused entirely on the sounds and the feel of my bass in my hands, my fingers plucking and slapping the strings. My eyes drifted and closed for a moment.

Jasper began belting out the chorus, the crowd singing along with him, and there was that feeling again, the prickling in the back of my neck. My eyes snapped open and immediately fell on her. She was impossible to miss, though she was in the very back; it was the same girl that had stood in the rain. I was certain of it.

I strained my eyes to focus on her face, but I was only staring at a patch of wall. _Where the hell did she go?_ She had been right there, I was pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating. I kept searching for her frantically for the rest of our set, but I didn't see her again.

In that moment, I knew it was her; she was the one that had been watching me.

_Why? A stalking groupie?_ I thought to myself. We had finished our set, and sat at the bar to have a drink before heading out. The guys were animated and boisterous after playing a good show; I just wanted to be left alone with my thoughts. This girl watching me, and the feeling that there was more to it than I could understand were driving me insane.

"Hey, Edward, what's eating you?" Emmett asked, after I snapped at him for the third time in ten minutes.

"Nothing, just tired," I muttered. I drained my beer and slid on my jacket. "I'm heading out, I'll catch you guys tomorrow." Tanya had left shortly after the show with her girlfriends, so I was on my own.

Carrying my bass case, I made my way out the back where I had parked. I laid my instrument down on the back seat, and opened the door to settle behind the wheel. A strange feeling made me turn around before I could get in the car, and I found myself face to face with a giant of a man.

This guy would make Emmett look scrawny. He was dressed formally, and all in black. His dark hair clashed with his extremely pale skin, and it shone eerily under the streetlights. My first instinct was to run, even though he didn't appear aggressive.

"Can I help you?" I asked him, shoving my hands in my pockets.

He didn't reply, just gave me a creepy smile and made to reach for me.

A low growl rumbled somewhere in the darkness, as well as a velvety, menacing voice.

"I wouldn't, Felix," the disembodied female voice said.

The smile slid off Felix's face and he lowered his hand, scanning the darkness behind me.

"Of course you'd be here," he addressed the unseen woman in an angry whisper.

Footsteps echoed on the pavement, slowly approaching us. I turned around to the source of the sound, and my jaw dropped open of its own accord.

"You knew I would be, Felix. How can this possibly be news to you? Surely you're not as thick as you look," the woman said. It was _her_! The girl I had seen in the rain and in the club. Her skin was just as pale as Felix's, but not as ghoulish, somehow. She had long brown hair that reached her waist, and her features were soft, though her eyes regarded Felix with a steely reproach. The boots she was wearing kept clanking on the sidewalk until she stopped in front of Felix, her back to me.

The albino gorilla didn't take too kindly to her words. He bared his teeth at her, clenching and unclenching his massive fists. She stared him down — or should I say up? He was at least a foot taller than her, — and didn't move. He looked like he wanted to punch her.

"Hey, buddy, let's calm down here," I said to him, trying to diffuse the rise in his temper. If he got violent, I would have to intercede, and he would obviously kick my ass. I was never much of a fighter, and this guy was a monster.

She turned her head around and barked at me. "Edward, leave."

That stopped me in my tracks. I stared at her, paralyzed by surprise, and she growled, "Now!"

I didn't want to leave, especially now with King Kong here looking all pissed off, but the look in her eyes made my blood freeze, and I couldn't even think to question her. I got in my car and started to drive. After I backed out of my spot, I looked at the place where we had stood, but they had disappeared into the night.

I drove back to my apartment, my mind in turmoil. _What the fuck was that? And who the fuck was that?_ I couldn't figure out who the guy was, what he had wanted, and who the girl was. Honestly, I was less intrigued about him than I was about _her_. I knew she was the one that had been following me, though I couldn't imagine why. She was obviously no groupie.

I stripped my clothes off and got in the shower, turning the water as hot as I could stand it. It felt great, and it helped dissolve the knots on my shoulders. I put on my pajama pants and combed my hair, or tried anyway, but my bronze hair had a mind of its own, and it would not be told what to do by a puny plastic comb.

I was exhausted, but my brain refused to shut down; sleep was not an option right now. Maybe I'd read for a while, that should help. I stepped into my bedroom, flicking the light on as I went. I choked down the yelp that flew to my mouth. There, sitting cross-legged on my bed. It was her.

"Hello, Edward."

I didn't know what to answer. Well, normally I know what to say when someone says 'hello' to me, but this was not exactly your regular, everyday encounter. I stared at her, and the first thing that came to my mind was, _There's a hot girl on my bed._ It was beyond stupid.

She watched me silently when I didn't respond. A small smile played on her lips, as if she knew what I was thinking. She patted the bed next to her, motioning for me to sit.

"Have a seat, Edward. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here, and what happened tonight," she offered.

Yeah. You could say that.

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	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

I refused her invitation to sit, preferring to remain standing. I could examine her better from a distance. Besides, even though I felt an inexplicable pull towards this strange woman, something in the back of my mind kept telling me that she was dangerous. But I felt no fear being near her. I did feel other things.

She looked young, very young, seventeen at the most, if I were to guess. Her skin was flawless, with a subtle glow that threw her plump, rosy lips into greater relief. She contemplated me through caramel colored eyes, eyes that belied her assumed age. They looked ancient, eyes that had seen everything twice. There was no doubt about it, this girl was gorgeous, and her unerring stare was making bursts of warmth shoot through my chest.

I forced myself out of my reverie; standing here admiring her would not get me any closer to understanding what the hell was going on. She continued to sit on my bed, not volunteering any information. I decided to break the silence.

Crossing my arms, I asked her, "So, who are you?"

"My name is Bella," was all she said.

"Just Bella?" I retorted, sneering a little more forcefully than I had intended.

"Bella Cullen," she clarified.

I waited. She remained silent.

"What are you doing here? And what was that back at the club? Why have you been following me?" The questions tumbled out of my mouth. "And how the hell did you get in here?" I tacked on, as an afterthought.

"The door," she answered, hardly containing a cynical smile. I had a feeling she had deliberately chosen to ignore my other questions.

"Are you going to answer the other questions?" I was starting to get kind of miffed. I felt I was owed this explanation, but this was like pulling teeth with my bare hands.

"Sit, Edward," she whispered.

With a huff, I stomped over to the bed and sat down on the very edge, vaguely wondering how she knew my name and where I lived. I wished her knowing these things was the strangest thing that had happened all night, yet that was downright normal compared to the rest. I felt the weird pull again, like there was a magnet between us making my ass drag over the sheets towards her. I held my place.

"I know there's much you want to know," she continued, "but I can't answer all your questions. Not yet. It would not be safe."

"Not safe? You didn't look so scared back there," I challenged.

"Not safe for you," she clarified in a quiet voice, her gaze holding mine intently.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked angrily.

She took a deep breath and let it out noisily, choosing how to word what she was about to say.

"There are some… people that have been made aware of certain abilities you might have, and are seeking to have you join them," she began.

I interrupted her. "What, like a gang?" I almost laughed as I said that; the whole thing sounded ridiculous. And what 'abilities' was she talking about? I couldn't fight worth a crap, what use would some gang have for me?

"I suppose that's as good an analogy as any," she answered. "But don't worry, they won't succeed and they won't harm you now."

"And how do you fit into all this? Are you part of this gang?" I asked.

She smiled broadly at this, seemingly in spite of herself, and chuckled once, snorting delicately. Her smile was dazzling, two rows of perfectly straight, bright white teeth.

"No, I'm not with them," she assured me. "I'm just trying to make them stay away."

"Why? What does this have to do with you?" I asked the question before I could hold it back, though now that I think about it, I should just shut up. For every question she answered, ten new ones sprang up in its place, and I was just getting more and more confused by the whole thing,

She looked at me and shrugged slightly, but didn't answer.

"Bella?" A tinkling voice called from the kitchen.

What the fuck was going on? How were all these people getting here? _This is a private residence, not a train station!_ I thought, now thoroughly pissed off.

A mess of black, spiky hair poked around the door, looking around. When the newcomer spotted Bella, she opened the door further but didn't enter my bedroom.

"Bella, we have to go. Now," the girl said. She looked so tiny, I suppose she could have just wiggled under the door. But I was sure I had locked that door when I got home, and yet these two apparently managed to get in here undetected.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Hey, did you break my locks?"

The short black-haired girl looked me. I noticed she had the same luminous skin as Bella, but it didn't look as silky to me. They had the same color eyes as well. _Were they sisters? Except for those two similarities, they looked nothing alike,_ I mused.

"No, your door and locks are intact," she answered me with a slight grin.

Bella stood in one sinuous move, and said to the girl, "Yes, Alice, I'm coming."

They moved towards the door; they were leaving.

"Hey! You didn't tell me anything!" I shouted after them, completely befuddled.

Bella stopped her progress towards the door and turned around, walking back to where I stood. She raised one hand, tentatively touching it to my cheek. Her fingers were like icy fire on my skin, they felt cold, but her touch burned me. A sharp tingling kept running up and down my spine, and my breath hitched in my throat.

"Be careful," she whispered. And with that, she followed the other girl, —Alice, was it? — out of the room and gently pulled the door closed behind her.

I wanted to follow them, to demand an actual explanation, but I was rooted to the spot. I was flustered to be denied any answers, but more than that, I realized I was suddenly sad. _Sad?_ A pang of sorrow constricted my chest at the sight of her leaving. Huh? Yeah, I was losing my mind.

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I had exhausted myself the night before pacing around my room until I dropped on my bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The morning light that came through my window woke me. It was unusually bright, the sun not obstructed by heavy clouds for a change. It was seldom this sunny out, so I never really bothered to close my curtains.

I pulled my pillow from under my head and shoved it over my face to block out the excessive light. Memories of last night ran unbidden through my head, and I sat up with a jolt. I looked around my room; nothing seemed out of place. I knew my door was intact; I had checked it last night after the two uninvited women left.

Now, in the bright light of day, the events of last night seemed ludicrous to me. _Maybe I drank more than I thought,_ I wondered. I decided to put it out of my mind for now; there was no point in dwelling on this crazy shit.

By the time I was ready to leave the apartment to go grab some breakfast, my mood had positively improved. I snatched my book bag, my jacket, and headed out the door. I was meeting Tanya at the Sundown Café and she hated it when I was late.

Draping my jacket on the back of my chair, I took a seat opposite Tanya. Of course she was already here, punctuality freak that she was. She was giving me the 'you're-in-trouble-mister' look, and I was not in the mood for it. I took a deep swig of the coffee she had ordered for me and asked her irritably, "What?"

Taken aback by my abruptness, she decided to take the pouty route instead. "You know what, baby. I've been waiting for you for ten minutes, I missed you," she said in an overly saccharine voice.

The waitress showed up at that moment to take my order, preventing me from uttering the snarky remark I was about to sling at Tanya. It had been only ten minutes, for christ's sake! I glanced at the menu and ordered the pancakes.

Tanya watched me order with a disapproving look, then tutted at me when the waitress left. _Now what?_

"Edward, you should have ordered some eggs or something. Pancakes have no nutritional value, they're just water and flour," she chastised me.

Really? She was about to get on my back about my choice of breakfast food? I wasn't exactly obese; hell, if anything, I could stand to gain a few pounds.

"What the hell does it matter what I eat?" I hissed at her. I usually had more patience with Tanya than this, but for some reason, her very presence was getting on my nerves. She seemed to sense this.

"I'm just trying to look out for you," she said, jutting out her lower lip so far I was concerned she'd trip on it if she tried to walk. "But you're obviously in some weird mood, so I'm just gonna go," she huffed.

I couldn't even muster the effort to look upset that she was leaving. There was something about her this morning that was repellant to me. She stood, grabbed her purse and coat and walked out of the café. The relief that came over me was instantaneous. This was certainly odd; I usually enjoyed her company very much, and I was much more tolerant of her idiosyncrasies than I appeared to be right now. I shrugged it off and dug into my pancakes. As Emmett would waste no time in teasing me, I was probably on one of my 'PMS days', which was what he had dubbed my bad moods. _That asshole_.

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I knocked twice on Jasper's door before letting myself in. His dorm room was, as usual, an unholy mess. It was a good thing he chose to live on campus instead of sharing my apartment; his slovenly ways would drive me to the brink of insanity.

Jasper lay sprawled on his bed, still fully dressed, doing a very accurate chainsaw impersonation. A flicker of irritation flashed through me; I was only a little over a year older than him, but sometimes he acted like he was five years old. But then again, Rosalie, our older sister, sometimes made _me_ look like I was five years old, so I guess I shouldn't talk. We were already late for rehearsal, and it was obvious he was out until a thousand o'clock last night.

"Jasper, get up," I said, nudging him on the side of the head a couple times.

At this point, I think his pillow was more responsive than he was.

"Jasper, get out of bed, we're late!" I shouted very close to his face, shaking his shoulder forcefully. That got his attention. He awoke with a start, rolling off the bed. I smirked at him as he snarled at me.

After constantly nagging him through his morning routine — if I didn't, it would take him half the day to get going — we stopped for coffee and headed for Emmett's. That's where we usually rehearsed on Saturday mornings. Emmett lived off campus in a small house he rented.

The day was cloudy and dark, just the way I liked it. It had been sunny all week, very unusual for Seattle, and the excessive brightness bothered me. I was in a good mood today, sort of. I hadn't thought about all the weird shit that happened last week since _that_ night, though I couldn't say I was acting as if nothing ever happened. Something had changed, something was different about me.

Ever since that night, I've had this constant, dull ache in my chest, like something that I didn't know was there had been suddenly taken away. I felt a sense of loss, which was stupid; I hadn't lost anything. Except maybe a night's sleep. Or four. But who's counting?

I haven't seen the girl all week, nor have I felt her watching me. The thought of that made the ache in my chest throb a little. I wanted to see her again, if only to prove to myself that I wasn't nuts and imagined the whole thing. But if I were being honest with myself, there were other reasons why I wanted to see her again.

"Hey, man, you all right?" Jasper asked after we had been driving for twenty minutes in complete silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," I answered.

Jasper perked up at this. "All good with Tanya?"

I hadn't seen Tanya since our disastrous breakfast spat a few days ago. I called her to apologize for the sake of making peace, but she was still giving me the cold shoulder. I wasn't nearly as bothered by this as I should have been.

"Yeah, we're good. She's just being difficult, you know how she gets," I explained.

Jasper nodded knowingly, saying nothing.

We pulled up in front of Emmett's house and walked around the car to pull our instrument cases out of the trunk, when Jasper suddenly exclaimed, "Holy shit! Is that an SLR McLaren?"

I followed the direction his hand pointed at to a black, sleek Mercedes-Benz; it actually _was_ an SLR McLaren. The car was parked across the street, four houses down. The dark tint on the windows made it impossible to see if there was anyone inside. I felt goose bumps erupt up and down my arms. It wasn't everyday you saw one of those; that car retailed for over half a million dollars, and I couldn't fathom why there would be one parked on this street lined with dinky houses.

Jasper and I stood there for a few seconds, admiring the magnificent piece of machinery from afar, when it suddenly roared to life. The car zoomed past us and turned the corner before we could react and turn around. Maybe I really _was_ losing my mind, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew who had been in that car. I just knew… It was Bella.

"Was that a thing of beauty or what?" Jasper asked excitedly, his voice saturated with awed reverence, picking up his guitar case and handing me my bass.

"Yes. It definitely was," I murmured, my eyes still fastened on the corner.

I couldn't suppress the stupid little smile I was wearing as we made our way into the house.

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	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

If I bounced my knee any harder, I was going to drill a hole on the floor. There was still ten minutes to go in this class, and I was ready to jump through the window. I'd been a mess of anxiety all week, and I was reaching my breaking point.

Tanya called earlier today to tell me she was coming to the club tonight to watch us play. Great. I hadn't seen her since her last week; I'd been avoiding her at all costs, and I don't know why I was doing it.

It's been six days since I last saw Bella. Or at least I think it was her, driving the black SLR down Emmett's street. She just seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth, and I guess that was partly to blame for my anxiety. I still had no idea what happened;

she left me hanging with no further explanations. At least her gorilla of a friend didn't show up again.

I was out of my seat before the professor could get all the words out to dismiss the class and wish us a good weekend. I had to meet the guys at the club to set up for tonight, and I was in desperate need of a beer.

It had become a habit without me even realizing I was doing it; I took to parking on the exact same spot by the tree where I first spotted Bella. I'd get in my car and sit there for a full five minutes, staring at the tree, _willing_ her to come out from behind it. But she never appeared, and every time I felt disappointment slam into me, as if we had a standing date that she kept breaking.

The music kicked in when I started the car, and the song that came on startled me. I could have sworn this was not the CD I had playing last time I drove. I knew that because I had been playing music off my iPod, not a CD. The stereo was set to begin playing the second track of a 3 Doors Down album, _Away from the Sun._

I sat there, completely still, listening to the song, desperate for it to mean something, for it to tell me something.

_It's down to this _

_I've got to make this life make sense _

_Can anyone tell what I've done _

_I miss the life _

_I miss the colors of the world _

_Can anyone tell where I am _

_'Cause now again I've found myself _

_So far down, away from the sun _

_That shines into the darkest place _

_I'm so far down, away from the sun again _

_Away from the sun again _

_I'm over this _

_I'm tired of living in the dark _

_Can anyone see me down here _

_The feeling's gone _

_There's nothing left to lift me up _

_Back into the world I know_

_And now again I've found myself _

_So far down, away from the sun _

_That shines into the darkest place _

_I'm so far down, away from the sun _

_That shines to light the way for me _

_To find my way back into the arms _

_That care about the ones like me _

_I'm so far down, away from the sun again _

_Oh no..._

_Yeah..._

_I'm gone..._

She had been here. She put this CD on my stereo, so I'd listen to this song. Bella had been here, in my car, not two hours ago. How? How did she get in?Why didn't she just wait to talk to me instead of leaving me cryptic messages through a song? What does any of this mean? The questions kept chasing each other around in my brain, leaving no answers in their wake.

I sniffed the air frantically, trying to catch any remnants of her scent in the confined space. There was the barest hint of lavender, honey, and some other warm smell I couldn't identify. I sat there in my car for the better part of an hour, listening to the song on repeat.

The more I listened to the song, the more unsettled I became. _I'm so far down, away from the sun again_. What does it mean, is she down? Why? _I'm over this/I'm tired of living in the dark/Can anyone see me down here? _ Oh Bella… I see you… A lump rose in my throat at the thought of her feeling like this, which I manfully swallowed back down. I'd never been an emotional type of guy; what the fuck was happening to me? I couldn't understand why I even felt anything; I'd talked to this crazy stalker girl all of one time, and not even under the best of circumstances. Yet she had irrevocably changed something in me.

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I sat at the bar nursing a beer, watching Emmett set up his drums. I chugged what little there was left of it and motioned to Paul with the empty bottle, indicating I wanted a refill. Jasper came in then, taking a seat beside me as Paul popped the cap off my fourth beer.

"Hey, Edward," he greeted me, clapping a hand to my back and stealing a swig off my drink.

"Hey," I answered him in a dejected voice.

"Paul, hook me up, man," Jasper called.

When Paul turned away to retrieve a fresh beer, Jasper took a closer look at me.

"You look like hell, bro. And isn't it a little early to be pounding them back?" He asked, eyeing the three empty bottles in front of me. "You never drink more than one before we play," he reminded me.

"Never too early to start partying, right?" I said with a grimace. I could hardly even say it with a straight face; partying was more Jasper's department. We seemed to be thinking the same, given the incredulous look he shot me.

Jasper took a drink of his beer and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Is everything okay? You haven't been yourself all week, and I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something from me," Jasper said, lowering his voice so Paul wouldn't hear us.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just stressed, you know," I finished lamely. How could I explain to him what was going on with me when I didn't know it myself? _So this girl was stalking me, then some friend of hers got in my face and she made him back off. Later that night, she showed up in my bedroom, and she got in on her own through a locked door. Then a friend of hers showed up, also letting herself in through a locked door. After that, she disappeared and I've been feeling like there's a hole in my chest ever since._ Yeah, that would go over really well.

Jasper nodded but said no more, knowing that I would talk about whatever was bothering when I was ready for it. I appreciated him giving me my space and not prying.

"You know I'm here if you need me," he offered, clapping my shoulder again before walking off to the stage to hook up his amp.

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It was another jam-packed night at Perestroika. We were in the middle of our fourth song, and the beers I drank earlier had eased some of my tension. I felt myself enjoying the show and not thinking about _her_, for once.

We played one more song, and Jasper announced we'd be taking a ten minute break before continuing our set. I rested my bass on the stand and headed straight for the bar, catching Paul's attention. Emmett, James, and Jasper didn't come over immediately; they were busy chatting with admirers that ambushed them as they stepped off the stage.

I took a hearty gulp of my beer, feeling the anxiety melt away. I let out a contented sigh, glad to have the tightening of my chest to loosen up, even if just for a little bit.

Grasping the neck of my bottle and holding it close to my chest, I let my eyes drift shut as I enjoyed the ever so ephemeral feeling of peace. That was when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"What now, Jasper?" I spat, my temper rising.

"Hello, Edward," someone said in a low, velvety voice. This was not Jasper.

My eyes shot open and my head snapped around so fast my neck almost broke.

I found myself looking at a pair of liquid caramel eyes, alight with understated humor.

"Bella," I managed to choke out, unable to tear my eyes off her face. The feeling of elation that was erupting within me was quite disproportionate to the occasion. I didn't care; she was here, and I couldn't look at her enough.

"You remembered," she said with a smile. "How've you been?"

Was this for real? After all the crazy shit, she was sitting here, asking me how I've been, as if we were mere acquaintances? She was acting like this was no big deal to her. Well, I could play that game, too.

"Oh, I've been great. Peachy, in fact. How about you?" I deadpanned.

"You seem upset," she inferred with a small frown.

Ya think?

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Your tone of voice, and the fact that you've drunk about half a dozen beers in a very short time. It's a bit out of character," she explained.

"Yeah, well, I've been making some changes lately," I murmured bitterly. Why was I being so hostile? She said nothing for a minute, just looked at me with soulful, concerned eyes. I realized I was angry, angry that she had turned my life upside down and I knew nothing about her. Angry that she had left me with no answers, and angry that she had left for so many days, and I hadn't seen her.

She noticed the emotions flicker across my face, the anger I had felt at her absence lingering, and she reached out to touch my left hand that had been resting on the counter. Her cold touch filled my entire arm with a tingling warmth, startling me out of my self-righteous pissed off mood. My eyes raised to meet hers, and in that moment, I ceased to care about anything that wasn't her.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered with a pained expression. "I will tell you everything, soon, I promise. But for now, I just need to know that you are well," she said with fervor.

Bella kept her hold on my hand, and I could have sat there all night, as long as she never let go. I didn't understand what it was about her that made the world around me disappear, but that was how I felt. I was practically giddy with the relief of seeing her again, of having her near me. She obviously had some weird ass secrets, but right now, I couldn't care less about any of it. As long as I got to sit by her, look into her eyes, and feel her hand in mine. When did I turn into a fourteen year-old girl?

I enjoyed the feel of her cold, silky fingers on mine for a few more seconds until an ungodly screech jerked me back to reality. A blonde harpy towered over me, hands on her hips, her entire face contorted in rage. She looked like she had been sucking on a salty lemon.

"Edward? What _the fuck _is going on?"

Well, shit. Tanya was not happy.

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**Bella POV**

I pulled up in front of the house to find my mother working on her garden, the trace of a smile lighting up her face. She had heard me coming, of course.

"Hello, Mother," I greeted the beautiful woman kneeling by the lush rose bushes.

"Oh, hello, darling," she answered, standing up to give me an awkward hug. It was awkward because her hands were encased in dirt-encrusted gloves, and she hugged me close, but at a strange angle while keeping her hands away from my shirt.

I was instantly at peace. There was something soothing about my mother's presence, one just couldn't help feeling some of the joy that radiated from her. I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and planted a light kiss on her cheek.

"Is Carlisle inside?" I inquired.

"Yes, dear, in his office," she informed me with a smile, and knelt back down to continue pruning her lovely roses.

I loped up the stairs and, sure enough, Carlisle was waiting for me in his office, having heard me outside speaking to Mother.

"Bella, my child," he welcomed me affectionately.

"Hey, Carlisle," I mumbled as I hugged him. "Alice stayed in Seattle to keep watch while I came to see you. They're closing in, and I don't want them to think we've left the area entirely," I explained.

Carlisle nodded, saying nothing.

"I can't stay long, however. You know it's mostly my presence that deters them from making a move. But they're getting restless, and I'm not sure what to do about it," I continued.

"Have you told the boy about us? At this point, he wouldn't be in any further danger by knowing the truth. They already have their sights set on him anyway," Carlisle asked. I knew this unavoidable future saddened him. Human lives were sacred to him, and this was just as he feared — humans being put in danger by our kind.

It irked me a little that he referred to Edward as boy. Edward Masen was anything _but_ a boy. Carlisle knew who he was to me, however, and I doubted he meant any harm by his choice of words.

"No, I haven't told him. You can understand how that would not be an easy conversation to have. I don't even know how to start, though I know I will have to find a way to tell him soon. I'm just trying to keep all of this from him for as long as possible, to protect him," I justified. This was as much to convince Carlisle of my reasoning as it was to convince myself. I didn't want to burden Edward with all the knowledge that I must impart on him, but I was running out of excuses not to do it. He needed to know, and soon.

Something had been bothering me, though, and this was the time to broach the subject.

"Carlisle, has Aro gone back on his promise to you?" I asked without preamble. Aro had vowed to Carlisle when he left Italy that his choice of lifestyle would be respected, and that the Volturi would not seek to interfere in any way.

He looked pensive for a second. "I do not wish to believe he would throw away three hundred years of friendship so callously but, at the same time, I can't overlook his less than subtle attempts to have you and Alice join him in Italy, or his refusal to accept that you do not wish to go," Carlisle answered me, his voice stained with regret.

This worried me. If Aro was willing to step over the line to acquire two members of Carlisle's family for his own, I shuddered to think what he would do to possess a talented human who had no ties to anyone he cared about. As far as he knew, anyway. Aro was not aware of what Edward meant to me; the Volturi were merely under the impression that us Cullens zealously guarded the humans in our area for the sake of remaining inconspicuous so we could continue to interact with them, which was why Felix had not suspected anything when I prevented him from taking Edward outside that club in Seattle.

"Aro has already set the wheels in motion. You know he sent Felix to bring Edward in, and had I not been there, Edward would have been one of them by now," I reminded Carlisle. The very thought of this had me quivering with barely contained rage.

Carlisle already knew of this, of course, but his face still fell anew. This memory distressed him, because he knew what it would have meant had Felix succeeded, and he'd hate to see me storming into the Volturi castle to seek revenge only to be destroyed by Aro's guard. I knew it wouldn't have been quite so easy for them to dispose of me, but Carlisle, ever the dutiful parent, still worried.

"Their eagerness fightens me," I confessed.

Carlisle looked at me, his face a mask of concern. "Why, my dear?"

"Because if they prove to be as tenacious about taking him as I think they will be, it might force my hand, and this is not how I envisioned things happening," I clarified. "If they don't back down, I might have to change Edward myself, before he's ready, or even in accordance. That is not how he, or anyone, should be ushered into this life," I whispered, unable to contain my dejection.

"Does Alice see anything changing?" Carlisle asked after a moment's pause.

"No. All outcomes remain the same, no matter how we proceed. All that changes is how smoothly or otherwise those outcomes come to be," I informed him.

Carlisle eyed me knowingly. "And what about the other part of Alice's visions?"

I knew exactly what he was asking me. I shifted uncomfortably before answering him.

"Yes. That… happened…" I trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.

Carlisle's face brightened at that. "Oh, Bella, I'm so pleased. It's been too long, my dear child," he enthused, pulling me into an embrace once again.

"The same was true for Alice, as you remember," I pointed out. He regarded me with pleasant surprise.

"Indeed! And brothers? This is certainly a most interesting situation. Fascinating, indeed," he murmured, and began pacing around the room, deep in thought.

Carlisle was probably going through all the implications and intricacies of the situation in his mind. He had been dumbfounded when Alice had told us about her vision, that she and I both would find our mates at the same time, that they were brothers… and that they were humans. A slew of complications accompanied that tiny bit of information. Humans? How could that possibly work? Yet, she had been right, as always.

Edward Masen was just a human man. But, in that first moment I laid eyes on him, we were not humans, vampires, aliens or whatever. He was a man. I was a woman. And I fell irrevocably and unconditionally in love with him, at first sight. He really was my true soulmate, and I would move heaven and earth for him.

I gave Carlisle a few more minutes to mull things over, but I had reached my limit. I had to go back to Seattle. The desolation I felt being physically away from Edward was unbearable. I knew I couldn't be with him, not for a while, or maybe not ever. But I had to be near him, if only to watch over him and make sure he was safe.

"Carlisle, I'm heading back. I can't stay away for long," I explained as I made to exit his office.

"I understand, Bella," he said with a commiserating smile. "Good luck, my child, and keep your mother and I posted on what happens. If they show themselves again, please let me know immediately," Carlisle requested.

"I will," I assured him.

With a parting wave, I dashed out the door and hopped in my car. I loved this car; it was small, and it felt cozy to me. I had other vehicles, but the Mercedes SLR McLaren was definitely my favorite. I closed the door and slammed down the gas in the same beat, speeding away from Forks, towards Seattle. Towards my heart.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Reviews are much appreciated! I'd love to know what you guys think.**

**Thanks for reading ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I dropped Bella's hand as if Tanya's yell had tazered me. The loss of contact upset me more than the irate girl looking at me like she wanted to take a bite off my face.

"Edward, who the hell is this? What is going on?" Tanya demanded.

I looked at Bella, expecting to see disappointment, or even anger at the evidence before her that I had a girlfriend. Instead, I was met with an amused little smile, and her eyes clearly said _I'm not getting involved. You're on your own, buddy._ Bella sat with her arms crossed, the picture of calm, her eyes moving between Tanya's face and mine.

Tanya's rage seemed to be focused primarily on me, which was a new one. Usually, when some girl at the bar came on to me, — and being on stage here every weekend, it happened quite often — Tanya would zero in on the girl and scare her shitless. Right now, however, she looked like she'd love nothing more than to tear my head off and wear it as a hat.

I still couldn't think of what to say to Tanya. I felt like we were a million miles apart; I hadn't seen her in several days, and in that time, Bella came crashing into my life, obliterating any feelings I might have had for anyone else. I didn't even feel there was a relationship to break off at this point. But she was still demanding that I explain myself. Except she was not giving me much room to talk.

"Edward, who is this? Are you in love with her or something?"

That pulled me up short. Where the hell did she get that one from?

"What?" I asked, stupidly.

"I saw the way you were looking at her, Edward. You don't make googly eyes at _me_!" She screeched.

I lifted my hand to her shoulder, trying to calm her down, but Tanya was having none of it.

"Don't touch me, asshole! I saw the way you were looking at her! Where did you find this skank, anyway?" She looked Bella up and down with exaggerated derision like one does when contemplating a slimy slug or something equally nasty.

I heard a soft chuckle behind me. I turned in time to see Bella covering her lips with her hand, her eyes crinkled with amusement. I had been worried she would feel embarrassed or offended by Tanya's rude remark. Not the case, it seemed.

"What the fuck are you laughing at, bitch?" Tanya rounded on Bella.

Bella didn't answer; she simply raised her eyebrows at Tanya in mock confusion. I, however, was strangely pissed off that she had talked to Bella that way. I put my hand on her shoulder gently, indicating that she should back off now.

"Tanya, ease up. We'll talk about this later, this is not the place," I whispered to her with a significant look.

She jerked her hand around my arm and her nails made contact with my neck. I felt the sting of the scratches as she pulled her hand back to strike again, but found her progress unavoidably impeded.

Bella had Tanya's wrist in a vise grip an inch away from my throat. There was no amusement in her eyes now; they were dark and furious.

"Don't," she snarled at Tanya.

"What the fuck, let me go!" Tanya yelled, attempting to jerk her arm off Bella's grip, though Bella's arm didn't move at all, still holding Tanya's in place. She was yanking her arm with her entire body now, but it remained unmoved. I guess Bella works out.

Suddenly, Bella let go, and Tanya crashed to the floor. By now, we had a captive audience to our very own episode of the _Young and the Restless_. I helped Tanya up and dragged her away towards the back. She didn't fight me this time. Once we were ensconced in the hallway that led to the restrooms, she turned to me.

"Edward, what is going on, are you breaking up with me?" She whimpered.

I ran my hands through my hair frantically, not knowing what to say. Did I want to break up with her? Suddenly, I realized I wanted nothing more. It wasn't fair to her, but I couldn't lead her on, either. I let out a deep breath with a huff before I answered her, trying to word what I was about to say as kindly as possible.

"Look, Tanya, maybe it's time we take a break," I began.

"A break? So it's not a permanent split, right?" She interrupted me eagerly.

I suppose I didn't state that quite right. I tried again.

"No, Tanya, it's permanent," I corrected her in a gentle whisper. "What we had was great, but… but things have changed," I went on, running my hands through my hair, not knowing what to do with them.

"Is it that other girl?" She asked me quietly.

"No, I don't know. Look, Tanya, I just need to be alone right now. My feelings have changed, I guess. I'm sorry," I finished lamely.

"I see," she said, eyeing me sadly. I felt like a shit. I had never meant to hurt her, but that's just what I was doing.

She stood on her toes to press a light kiss to my lips; the feel of it was entirely wrong, it repulsed me, like kissing your mother on the lips or something, but I at least owed her a farewell gesture. My instinct had been to pull away, but I held still.

"Good-bye, Edward," she whispered through her tears. I really was a shit.

I leaned back against the wall to get myself together before walking back out there. We had to go back on to finish our set in about three minutes. Before I made my way back to the stage, Jasper rounded the corner, jogging over when he spotted me. James was right behind him.

"Edward! I've been looking for you everywhere. What's going on? I saw Tanya run out of the club in tears. Did you guys have a fight?" He asked, his voice thick with concern.

I nodded once before explaining. "Yeah, we broke up. It just wasn't working out, you know?"

"So that ass is up for grabs then?" James chimed in.

Jasper turned to him with disgust. "Dude, you're such a dick. Go find Emmett and tell him we'll be right over," Jasper ordered him.

James stood there, grinning like a moron, but didn't move.

"Dude, go! Get the fuck out of here!" Jasper barked at him.

This made James leave, but a little malicious grin still played on his lips.

"Fucking asshole," Jasper murmured. He turned back to me, putting both hands on each of my shoulders. "Bro, are you okay to finish the set? They'll understand if you're not," he asked, suddenly spotting my scratched neck. "Did she scratch you?" He asked with alarm, pulling back the collar of my shirt to take a closer look.

"I'm fine, Jazz. It doesn't even hurt. And I can finish the set, no problem. In all honesty, I'm not overly cut up about the whole thing. It was a long time coming," I shrugged.

"You're cut up, all right," Jasper said, pointing to my neck with a shit-eating grin. I couldn't help but laugh with him.

He punched me hard on the shoulder, and said, "Let's go play some music."

"That hurt, you jerk," I hissed at him.

"Don't be a pussy, Edward," he called over his shoulder, laughing as he went.

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I stepped back up on stage and picked up my bass. I scanned the club from my vantage point, but I couldn't see Bella anywhere. I instantly panicked. Had she left? I didn't have a lot of time to fret over it, however. Emmett was smacking his batons together and chanting "one, two, one, two, three, four!" signaling the start of our next song.

The rest of the set passed in a daze, and for once, I was glad to be done with it. I was desperate to get off this damn stage and look for Bella. I was hoping against hope that she had waited for me; she might still be outside. I hurriedly packed up my stuff and rushed out, not staying behind to have a drink with the guys, for once.

I went out the front, she was not there. I looked up and down the street, but there was no sign of her. I wanted to scream. I walked around to the back where my car was, but I stopped on my tracks the second my car came into view. Leaning against it, there she was. Bella.

Walking so fast I was almost tripping over my feet, I wrenched the door open and shoved my case inside the car. Without pausing to think about what I was doing, I threw my arms around her, too overcome with relief that she hadn't left. She stiffened in my embrace, which immediately brought me back to reality. I dropped my arms and took a step back from her.

Bella looked up at me, and what I saw in her face set my world right again. She was beaming, her beautiful lips pulled back over her teeth in a glorious smile, her melted caramel eyes glowing beneath her long, black lashes. Only a moment passed before she took a step forward to close the distance I had created and buried her face in my chest. I could have died in that moment, and I would have died a happy man.

Gingerly, I raised my arms to wrap them around her again. Her entire body felt cool and hard, but her shape fit perfectly into mine, like corresponding pieces of a puzzle. I felt like I was finally home.

Bella pulled back and touched my neck gently where Tanya had scratched it. Her cool touch was soothing on the cuts. She ran her fingers over the gashes, pulling away from me and folding her hands behind her back, a repentant expression on her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and looked down.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, my voice marred by confusion. I hated the sudden distance between us, but I wanted to allow her space if that's what she needed. I just lifted my hand to her cheek, trying to coax her to look at me.

"For how I acted. It was rash and imprudent," she clarified.

My brow furrowed, communicating to her that I didn't know what she meant.

"When your girlfriend hurt you, it made me furious. She raised her hand to do it again, and I couldn't stop myself. I shouldn't have grabbed her wrist," she berated herself.

"I'm glad you did," I assured her with a smile. "She has very sharp nails."

"I still shouldn't have," she insisted.

"By the way, she's not my girlfriend. We broke up," I corrected her.

"Hm, I know. I mean, I heard," she mumbled. "You should go get those cuts cleaned up, you don't want them getting infected," Bella said, trying to change the subject.

I had a feeling she was about to disappear again, and I could not let that happen. I took her hands in mine.

"I'll do it later when I go home, it'll be fine. So, listen, do you wanna go get a drink with me or something? I'd like to talk," I asked her.

"Uhm... I don't drink," she said, scrunching up her nose adorably.

"Okay, we don't have to drink, we can just sit somewhere and talk," I pressed. She was not getting away from me so easily.

She opened her mouth to reply, but something suddenly caught her attention. Her head snapped in the general direction of the club and she listened intently for a moment. Then her face broke into an exultant smile, and she sighed serenely.

"I can't tonight, Edward. I have to do something," she said, facing me again.

No! She was going to vanish again, I knew it. It felt like there was a fishing hook attached to my chest, and she was tugging on it.

"Can I call you? When can I see you again?" I begged her desperately, grasping her hands.

"You will see me again, Edward," she said, sensing my desolation at the thought of her leaving. "We do need to speak. There are… things to say. Things you need to know. But not tonight," she finished.

"Please," I pleaded. I didn't even know what I was asking for. I thought about it for a second. "Please, don't disappear again," I qualified, my entire being already aching with the dread of her being gone. What was this girl doing to me? Why could I not be away from her all of a sudden?

She sighed softly and placed the palm of her hand on my chest, letting it rest there. Her eyes held mine, as if to make sure I took her next words to heart.

"I won't, Edward. You will see me again very soon, I promise. And we will talk," she assured me. "But now, you must get in your car and go home."

Her hand over my heart calmed my desperation. I believed her. I would see her again.

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I stayed up half the night thinking about Bella. Several times, I swore I could smell her fragrance, a mixture of lavender, honey, and something else. I should remember to ask her what perfume she wore next time I saw her.

It was early in the afternoon, and I was still in bed. There were things I needed to do, errands to run, and a Mount Everest worth of laundry overflowing the hamper, but I couldn't bring myself to get up. My plans of spending the afternoon lazing in bed were soon foiled, however, when Jasper came barreling into my apartment. _I must remember to take his key back_, I grumbled to myself.

"Edward, wake up!" He yelled as he skipped into the room. He spotted me with my hands behind my back, looking at him with bleary eyes.

"Good, you're up," he stammered. He sat on the edge of my bed and grinned like a fool.

"Jasper, what's up? And did you bring me coffee?" I asked.

He held up his hands to show he had brought nothing, and I groaned, "You're a shit brother."

His good mood could not be spoiled. He laughed at my remark, which automatically made me suspicious.

"Okay, so I see you had a canary for breakfast. The feathers are still sticking out of your mouth," I inferred. "Spill."

"I met someone," he squealed like a teenage girl. Good to know I was not the only one.

I couldn't help being happy for him, though. Jasper had always been kind of wild, and partied too much for his own good. Maybe having a significant girl in his life would help him grow up a little, get his head straight on his shoulders. He was a great guy and an awesome brother, he deserved to find someone to love.

"So tell me about her," I prompted, sitting up on my bed.

He pulled his legs up, sitting Indian style on the bed, before launching into his tale.

"She's the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. We met last night at the club. Emmett and I hung out at the bar for a while, having a drink, and she sat next to me. She poked me on the shoulder and asked me for the time; I turned around to tell her, and I couldn't look away," he told me with a dreamy look on his face.

Oh yeah, Jasper was a goner. Last time I saw him so starry-eyed was in ninth grade, when he had a giant crush on Maria Sanchez. She broke his heart, though, and he was in a slump for months over it.

"We ended up talking until the club closed, then we walked to a coffee shop nearby and talked until right before dawn. I haven't even been to bed yet!" he laughed.

"You haven't been to bed? It's one o'clock in the afternoon, where the hell have you been?" I asked.

"Walking around, I was too hyped up to sleep. Then I went to a flower shop and sent her a bouquet of roses," he said, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. In the same minute, his face fell. "Do you think it was too much? Too soon? What if she thinks I'm a crazy stalker or something? Shit, should I cancel the roses? They've probably delivered them by now, though. Shit, shit, shit!" He was panicking.

Jasper jumped off the bed and started pacing frantically.

"Jazz, calm down. And how do you even know where to send the roses? If you followed her home to find out where she lives, I can see her thinking you're a stalker," I mused.

He stopped pacing and turned to face me. "Oh, she told me where she lives, she shares an apartment with a friend over on Fairview. She goes to U-Dub, too," he informed me.

"That was fast," I wondered, but shrugged it off.

"I ordered them all rosebuds, too, so they'd be small like her. She's a tiny little thing," he chuckled, raising his hand about half a foot short of his shoulder. Standing at 6'2, like me, Jasper probably towered over this girl. I'd have to drum up some good garden gnome jokes to tease him with later.

"If she gave you her address, Jazz, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just don't show up at her door unannounced. That's stalker territory," I warned him.

He nodded solemnly, taking my advice seriously. Then he got lost in his daydreams again, staring out the window with a dumb look on his face. He turned to me and continue to gush about the girl.

"She has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Big, doe eyes, the color of topaz. I've never quite seen that color eyes before. They're so… warm," he searched for the right word. "Her skin is like ivory satin; she's very pale, but it just makes her black hair shine even more," he sighed at the thought of her.

"You'll just love Alice, Edward. I can't wait for you to meet her," he enthused.

I smiled at him, truly happy to see him so taken with a girl. Suddenly, something tugged at my memory, but I couldn't put my finger on it at first. I tried to forget about it, but my brain kept on whirring, looking for the connection.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Short girl, black hair, eyes the color of topaz, pale satiny skin…I flew off the bed and grabbed Jasper's arm to claim his attention.

"Jasper! Did you say her name was _Alice?"_

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_**A/N:**  
_

**Reviews feed the muse, and she's a very hungry girl!**

**Thanks for reading ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

It had been three days, and Bella still hadn't made any attempts to contact me. I went from one class to the next in a daze, too dejected to make an effort.

After the jolt of Jasper telling me he met a girl that looked very much like the one that had stood in my apartment and was also named Alice, I talked myself off that ledge. Surely, it was just a coincidence. Alice was not _that_ uncommon of a name. So I put it out of my mind and went about my business.

I was done with the last class of the day, on the way to my car, when my phone buzzed. I dropped everything I was holding to yank it out of my pocket, just in case it was Bella. Now that I thought about it, I had never given her my number. But then again, she had shown up at my place without my ever telling her the address, or even letting her in, for that matter. Maybe she could find out my number, too.

With a disappointed grunt, I answered the call.

"Hi, mom."

"Hello, sweetheart. I've been trying to get ahold of your brother, but he's not answering his phone. Are you two still coming over tonight for dinner?" She asked expectantly, like she didn't already know the answer to that.

Since I had started college, then Jasper after me, our weekends were pretty much full, so mom had taken it upon herself to establish the new tradition of Tuesday night dinner. It was her attempt to not let us lose touch, even though we lived only 20 or so minutes away. Jasper and I had tried to get out of Tuesday dinners in the past, and hell hath no fury like Elizabeth Masen stood up. After she ambushed me after one of my classes to yell at me in front of anyone who would listen, already having done the same to Jasper, we never tried again.

"Yes, mom, we're coming. We'll be there at 7. Jazz is riding with me," I reassured her.

"Good," she said, pleased. "I'll see you boys tonight, then! I'm making paella," she told me.

"Can't wait, mom. See you tonight. Love you," I said, ending the call.

I got in my car and sat there for a moment, allowing myself to relax. I was about to twist the key in the ignition when I saw her.

Bella.

She was standing across the field, hands in her pockets, and the grin that spread across my face almost made my cheeks hurt.

The grin died in that same moment when a tall, blond man walked up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. He had the type of looks that girls lusted over; understated muscles, strong jaw, perfect hair. He handed Bella a thick manila envelope, and she smiled brilliantly at him, hugging him again.

My stomach started churning, and I thought I was going to throw up. I could say I saw red, but that wouldn't be true. I saw green. The jealousy that had me by the throat left me dizzy and breathless; _who the hell was that?_ I wondered, irate. I had been deluding myself; she didn't feel anything for me, nothing like I felt for her. I was a fucking moron.

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The twenty-minute drive to Bellevue had been made in silence. I sure as hell was not in a chatty mood, and Jasper was still fretting over his dumbass idea of sending flowers to a girl he'd just met. He hadn't heard from her since, and it was driving him insane.

I, too, had something driving me up the walls. I knew that my jealousy stood on shaky legs; I didn't have any justification for feeling like that. It was not like Bella had ever made any declarations about her feelings for me — feelings that now I knew didn't exist. Just because I had been obsessing over a girl I barely knew, it didn't mean she was mine. But now I'd lost her before I ever even had her.

Pulling up in the driveway of the house we grew up in, we could see mom standing by the door, waiting for us. She looked beautiful, as usual, and perfectly dressed and groomed. If you looked up 'Stepford wife' in the dictionary, you'd find a picture of her. No one could even tell just by looking at her that she was probably already three martinis in.

"My baby boys, it's so good to see you!" She sang, hugging Jasper, then me, as we entered the house.

"Hey, dad," I called in greeting as I entered the living room. Edward Masen, Sr. was ready to pounce.

"Hello, son," he replied. "How's school going?"

I looked behind me, but Jasper had already disappeared into the kitchen with mom, leaving me alone to face the inquisition. _Bastard._

"It's going fine, dad," I informed him, hoping it would suffice. Yeah, right. He proceeded to question me about each of my classes, what grades I was making, the material we were covering. I was surprised he didn't ask me the color of my underwear.

It annoyed me to no end that it seemed Edward Sr. had taken whatever amount of expectations that he should have for Jasper and dumped them on me. It felt like I had to accomplish all the things my father thought that I should, so that I could live up to his name. How I wished they'd named me Fred or something.

"Dinner is on the table!" I heard my mother chirp from the dining room.

My father stood and motioned an _after you_, then followed me out.

We took our seats at the table, Jasper and I still rather morose, each with our own woes. Mother was valiantly trying to get some semblance of a conversation going, jabbering away as she ladled food into bowls and passed rolls around.

After a few minutes of me just playing with my food and only giving her monosyllabic answers, Jasper pretty much doing the same and, dad eating while reading the newspaper he had propped up against the water jug, mom just gave up on us. She went into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine and dessert.

"The cheesecake is delicious, mom," I said, trying to placate her. She was pissed that we hardly talked during dinner. That was usually when the wine made an appearance.

This thawed her a little. "Thanks, sweetie," she cooed.

"Have you heard from Rose lately, mom?" I inquired, between forkfuls of cheesecake. Rosalie was their first-born, four years older than me. She graduated from the University of Washington three years ago with a degree in mechanical engineering and scored herself an internship with Ferrari to work with engine design.

"No, Edward. Last time she called was last week. She had a few days off and she was going to Paris," my mother sighed wistfully.

This was a golden opportunity for Rosalie; it had been her dream come true, and living in Italy didn't hurt, either. We were all overjoyed at her success, but I just hated that she had to live so far away. I missed her terribly. I had a very fortunate adolescence with Rose as my sister; I could talk to her about anything, and she would always know just what to say to make me feel better, or give me the perfect solution. I didn't mind admitting I felt a little lost without her here.

Right now, though, I particularly missed Rosalie's shrewd insights. She surely would have known how to help me understand this mess that I found myself in.

I glanced over at Jasper, and when I caught his eye, and he nodded.

"Okay, Jasper and I need to head back. We have some school work to finish for tomorrow," I announced. I had nothing to do, really. I just wanted to go back to my apartment and sulk.

"You're leaving so soon?" Elizabeth asked with dismay.

"Yeah, sorry, mom. We just gotta finish some stuff," Jasper added. He was not very good at the whole making up excuses business.

Edward Sr. had already disappeared into his office, so that gave me the perfect excuse to not seek him out to say good night. I wouldn't put it past him to start another round of questioning.

Mother walked us to the door, her arm entwined with mine. Before stepping out, I turned to hug her. For a moment, I felt bad that none of us lived at home anymore; it must be very lonely with just my father in the house. He's not the most social or affectionate man, and my mother has always been very gregarious.

Then her next comment renewed my relief at being on my own.

Gently grasping a handful of my hair, she chided, "You're due for a haircut, Edward. It's getting pretty long."

Jasper snickered and I glared at him. Our mother had been dogging me for haircuts for as long as I could remember. She should know by now that this mess was hopeless; my hair was just like that, all over the place. I was the only child that inherited her bronze hair and green eyes; Jasper and Rosalie had been the lucky ones, taking after dad's golden blond and sparkling blue eyes.

"Yeah, sure, mom. I'll get one soon," I said, just to appease her.

She gave us a melancholy smile and waved goodbye as we pulled out of the driveway.

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Sleep did not find me that night. I sat on the couch until all hours, stewing about what I had seen earlier when I left campus. Who was the man that hugged Bella so tenderly? Why hadn't she contacted me? She kept promising to explain, to tell me what the hell was going on, but she kept leaving me hanging.

After staying up the entire night, I felt trashed in the morning. Though it wasn't sunny, I donned my sunglasses before I left for breakfast. I looked like I was wearing a Zorro mask, so dark were the circles under my eyes.

Three cups of coffee and a heaping stack of pancakes later, I felt slightly better about the missed sleep. Still felt like shit about everything else. Argh, I hated feeling like a whiny bitch, all this moping was beginning to be too much, even for me.

I didn't have class until two in the afternoon, so I decided to visit Emmett. He was always good for getting me out of my funky moods. I ordered the "heart attack special" and a large coffee to go, and headed for his place. He'd be less pissed about me waking him up at 8 am if I showed up with an armload of bacon and eggs.

"Wake up, dude," I called, nudging him with my foot.

An angry bear growl was all the response I got. I set the styrofoam box containing his breakfast by his head and waited. Not a minute passed and he opened one bleary eye, sniffing the air hopefully.

The smell of the bacon and eggs winning over his desire to stay asleep, he sat up and picked up the box, snatching the fork I held in my outstretched hand. Holding out the coffee next, I waited for him to drink some before I said anything else.

"Edward, it's the ass crack of dawn," he groaned. "What are you doing here, everything okay?" He mumbled, his cheeks bulging with the food he was now shoveling into his mouth.

"Everything's fine. Just having one of those days," I answered, and he nodded in understanding.

I really wanted to talk to him about Bella; I needed someone else's perspective on this, but I wasn't sure Emmett would be my best choice of confidante. He was not a man of subtlety or discernment; Emmett had a very simple view of the world. I decided to go with the abridged version.

"I met someone," I began.

"Already?" He interrupted me. "Didn't you break up with Tanya just last week?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't working out with her for a while now, I guess. I just didn't realize it until recently. Then she saw me talking to this girl at Perestroika, and she lost her shit on me," I explained, craning my head to the side to expose the healing scratches on my neck.

"Wow, go Tanya. Didn't know she had it in her," he said appreciatively. "And I presume this girl she saw you talking to is the one you're all in knots about?"

"I wouldn't go that far," I qualified, grimacing at his choice of words. "It's just complicated," I shrugged.

He raised his eyebrows in a disbelieving look. "Yeah, you show up here at an ungodly hour, bringing me breakfast, and I'm willing to bet you didn't sleep a wink last night, considering you look like shit, but no, you're not bugged at all," he laughed. "So spill, what's complicated about it?"

"I don't know, man. She's very… evasive. One minute she acts like she likes me, the next she disappears for days without a word. Then last night…" I stopped, unwilling to say it aloud.

I sat at his desk, rolling a baseball in my hands, not looking at Emmett. I hadn't realized how upset I actually was about what I saw. It felt like saying it out loud would finally make it real, but at the same time, it might help ease the tightening in my chest that refused to let up.

In a very non-Emmett fashion, he was not urging me to go on. He seemed to sense my distress and was allowing me the time to gather my thoughts.

Letting out a deep breath, I continued, "I was done with classes for the day, so I was leaving. I got in my car, and I looked up, there she was, across the field, when all of a sudden some guy runs up to her and hugs her. He handed her something, and then _she_ hugged _him_."

Emmett waited for me to continue, and when I didn't, he asked, incredulous, "That's it? She hugged some guy?"

I scowled at him. "You didn't see the way they hugged. It was very affectionate; I could tell they were close."

"Edward, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. So she hugged a guy, big deal. It could have been her brother!" He exclaimed.

I shook my head in disagreement. "They didn't look very much alike, she's very petite and has dark brown hair; this guy was pretty tall with very light blond hair," I reasoned.

"Because you and Jasper are practically twins, right?" Emmett snorted sarcastically.

Hmm... He had a point there. I mulled that over for a bit. Jasper and I really did look nothing alike, with the exception of our height. I was the spitting image of our mother, while he was all dad. The little shit loved to tease me by calling me the red-haired stepchild. But blood brothers we were.

"Maybe you're right. But still, she hasn't gotten in touch with me for several days now, and I don't even have her number," I decided to move on to the second problem.

Then I suddenly remembered. If my initial suspicion was correct, Jasper might have her _address_. I had the feeling that this Alice girl he was over the moon about was the same Alice that had come for Bella that night at my apartment. Excitement surged through me as a plan took shape in my head.

Emmett noticed the slight grin I was wearing, and he took it to mean that he had succeeded in lifting my spirits. "Of course I'm right," he huffed. "Now get out of here, I don't have class today and I'm going back to sleep," he said as he dropped back down on the bed.

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That evening, I was camped out in Jasper's dorm room waiting for him. As usual, he left his phone behind, so calling him was out. It was almost 9 pm when he finally walked in.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" He asked, confused when he found me sitting on his bed, soundlessly strumming his guitar. I didn't make it a habit to visit him in the dorm.

"Just dropped in to see how you were doing. I tried to call you, but…" I left off, pointing to his phone sitting on the nightstand by his bed.

"Oh. I'm doing okay. Why the sudden concern?" He asked, bemused.

"You were pretty antsy about that girl, I just wanted to see how you were holding up," I explained. I hoped he wouldn't see right through my bullshit. "Have you talked to her since the flowers?" I inquired, trying to sound casual about it.

He shook his head sadly. "No, she hasn't called me."

"You know what? Maybe she didn't even get them. Did you have the right address? Where did you say she lived again?" I asked, feigning nonchalance.

Jasper looked at me like I had an arm growing out the side of my head. "Fairview and Ward, the building with the black granite front," he replied, clearly intrigued by my curiosity.

I let out a low whistle. I knew which building he was talking about; those were very fancy, very expensive apartments. I wondered how a couple of college students could afford to live there, then I remembered the car I thought I saw Bella driving.

Thrilled with having obtained the information, I couldn't wait to get going, but now I had to smooth things over a bit. Jasper looked baffled by my bizarre behavior.

"Well, bro, I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe she got busy with school, what with mid-terms coming up and all," I offered.

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled.

"I'm gonna head out," I announced, setting down his guitar and springing from his bed. "You gonna be okay?"

He looked up at me, just as confused as he had been when he came in to find me in his room.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he answered.

"All right, then. Hang in there," I said, smacking him on the shoulder and reaching for the door.

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I sat in my car for what felt like hours. I had raced all the way here, but now that I was across the street from the building, I was hesitant to go through with it.

_What if she doesn't even live here, and I just barge in on some complete stranger? What if she does live here? She'll think I'm a crazy stalker! _My brain was overloaded with doubts, the voice of reason warring with my need to see her.

_She's going to think you're a nutjob if you just show up there!_ The voice of reason shouted in my ear. The compulsion to find her swelled in me, and it told the voice of reason to shut the fuck up.

Drawing in a deep breath, I made myself get out of the car and cross the street. A liveried doorman opened the heavy metal and glass doors, motioning me towards the front desk where two men sat. They wore dark suits and tiny earpieces, making it obvious they were security guards, not concierges.

"May I help you?" One of them asked. His tone was polite and professional.

I looked around the posh lobby, cursing myself for not having thought this through. "Uhh… I'm here to see Bella Cullen?" I stammered, having just realized I didn't know the apartment number.

"Your name?" he inquired.

"Edward Masen," I replied.

"One moment," he said while reaching for a phone. He mumbled something into it, then nodded once and hung up.

"Follow me, please," he prompted.

We walked across the lobby towards the elevators, boarding the last one on the far right. He inserted a small golden key in a panel with no buttons, and we were moving. A moment later, the doors slid open silently, and he pointed me towards the only door at the end of a short hall.

The floor was covered in plush white carpet, the cream color of the walls visible between the several pricey-looking paintings that hung on both sides of the corridor. A vase overflowing with fresh flowers sat on a glass console by the elevator, perfuming the air in the confined, windowless space.

"Thanks," I called to the security guard, but the elevator doors had already closed behind me.

My heart was thundering in my chest as I took the few steps towards the door. As I raised my fist to knock, the door opened before I made contact. There stood Alice, grinning broadly at me, a look of pure mischief lighting up her face.

"Hello, Edward. Come on in," she invited me.

I had been expecting to see Bella on the other side of the door, but at least my suspicions were confirmed now. This was the Alice I had been hoping to see.

"Hi, Alice. Nice to see you again," I greeted her.

I stepped into the foyer as Alice shut the door. Spotting a large crystal vase crammed with red roses on a side table, I suppressed a grin. They looked to be a few days old; some of the petals had a hint of wilting around the edges.

"You know, you should call Jasper. He's been tearing his hair out since he sent you those and never got a call back from you," I admonished her with a wink, pointing at the roses.

Alice's smile was blinding. "Bella and I have been busy handling some affairs that demanded our attention, or I would have gotten in touch with him by now. I did love the flowers," she gushed.

It was odd how this felt like a perfectly normal conversation, as if we'd all been in one another's lives for ages, and knew everything that had been going on.

She unceremoniously took my hand and led me forward. As I opened my mouth to ask where Bella was, she spoke before I could make a sound. "She's right through here," Alice answered my unspoken query.

Alice ushered me into a very large living room. The space was sumptuously decorated, but done very tastefully with subdued colors. There were white couches and mint green armchairs scattered in cozy circles; they looked very comfortable. Bella walked in then, her bare feet padding towards me on the fluffy carpet.

In an instant, I forgot all the confusion and hurt I was supposed to be feeling. She looked breathtaking in gray sweatpants and a threadbare t-shirt. I vaguely registered Alice sighing discontentedly. Bella shot her an annoyed glance, but said nothing.

She stopped in front of me, turning her head to nod once at Alice, which I figured had been her cue to leave. Bella took my hand and led me to the couch closest to the fireplace, where a crackling fire swayed merrily.

"Come, have a seat," she said. There was no surprise in her tone or expression, as if she had been expecting me. I settled on the couch, and she took a seat on the ottoman directly in front of me.

I cleared my throat before I spoke. "I suppose you're wondering how I found out where you live?"

"Jasper told you," she said. It wasn't a question.

"How did you…?" I sputtered.

"Alice," was all she said by way of an explanation.

"But how would she know that he told me?" I pressed.

She sighed, reaching for my hand. "I will tell you how I know," she said, giving my hand a squeeze before letting go. Bella stood, and I made to stand up to follow her, but she pressed a hand to my shoulder.

"I'll be right back, I just need to get something," she said, leaving the room and returning a moment later with a manila envelope. It looked to be the same one I saw that man hand her, and my jealousy flared up.

Bella resumed her seat on the ottoman and opened the envelope, pulling out a stack of papers. She held them on her left hand at an angle that made it impossible for me to see what they were, placing her right one on my knee before she spoke. The contact sent shivers down my spine.

She was about to say something, but I raised a hand to stop her. There were other things I needed to know first.

"Why do you keep disappearing? You say I'll see you again soon, but then I don't see you for days," I griped.

She smiled minutely with a look that meant she must have realized something.

"I apologize for that, Edward. I don't mean to break my word to you. But time means something very different to me than it does to you. You will understand soon," she soothed me.

"Well, I don't like it," I said in a small voice, like a petulant child, "not seeing you. I don't even understand why I feel the way I do when you're not around, I mean, we barely know each other," I continue, trying to find some rhyme or reason.

"I don't like it either," she replied in a serious whisper. "But, for the time being, it was necessary."

Relief and hope bubbled in my chest at her words. Maybe being apart was as hard for her as it was for me. That hope was then squashed when my eyes drifted over the manila envelope, and I remembered the _other_ man. I decided I might as well push my luck and bring that up.

"Bella… I saw you yesterday," I stated.

She held my gaze, saying nothing, not looking surprised by my admission. She didn't look reproachful, either, so I felt emboldened to continue.

"I was leaving campus, and had just gotten in my car, when I saw someone approach you with that envelope," I pointed to the damning evidence, "and hug you quite close. You two looked… very cozy," I finished, trying not to sound too accusatory.

"You saw me with Carlisle," she informed me.

"So that's his name, is it?" I sneered.

She leaned forward, moving her hand from my knee to my cheek, before she said softly, "He's my mother's husband, Edward. I was happy to see him because he brought me these," she motioned the hand that still held the papers, "sooner than I had expected."

Shit. Emmett was right. There was a perfectly innocent explanation for what I had seen and I'd gone and made it into something sinister.

"Why would that bother you, though? If I hug another man, that is?" She asked with a slightly amused smile dancing on her lips. It was as if she was asking just to hear me say it out loud, as if she already knew the answer to that.

"I don't know," I answered evasively with a slight shrug. It didn't feel like a good idea to lay it all on the line. I had already been acting more than a little erratic; I didn't want her to know the depth of my fascination with her. It was embarrassing.

Bella seemed to guess what I didn't want to say, however. She moved from the ottoman to sit next to me on the couch, our thighs almost touching. Her proximity was intoxicating, and I found myself inhaling deeply. There was the sweet, lavender scent again.

"I've been hesitating to have this conversation… it's not an easy story to tell. There is a lot I will need to explain," she admitted. "I need you to allow me to get though it, listen to everything before you react," she pled.

I nodded, gazing at her hungrily.

"You feel it too, don't you? The pull?" Bella asked somberly. "The aching need to be near, and the emptiness that comes with being apart?"

I nodded mutely, not knowing what to say. She had described with sharp precision what I'd been feeling since I first saw her. Then something hit me. _Wait a minute… Did she say "too"? As in, she feels the pull as well?_ That realization made the earth shift on its axis.

Bella patted my knee in a way that told me she understood. "There is a reason for that, for why we feel this way," she explained, her melted caramel eyes boring into mine. My breath hitched in my throat.

"For you to fully understand what I'm about to tell you, I suppose I need to start at the very beginning," she said, holding out the first piece of paper from the stack she was holding.

It was a very old black and white photograph, yellowed and frayed with age. It showed a little girl of no more than five years of age wearing a plaid, antiquated dress, a long, single braid dangling over her shoulder. She held hands with a woman I presumed to be her mother. The woman's attire was formal and equally dated.

I ran my fingers over the little girl's smiling face, and wondered aloud, "Who is this?"

"That, Edward," she informed me, vacillating before continuing, "is me."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thoughts?**

**Thanks for reading ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

**Bella POV**

I had been dreading this moment, with good reason. The things I had to tell Edward would have been hard to believe under much more favorable circumstances, and this situation was far from perfect.

In the way I envisioned things, he would have gotten to know me first, and I him. He would grow to trust me, after I'd showed him I was worthy of that trust. I would have eased him slowly into my realities, testing the waters, pulling back if I felt him to be overwhelmed. I had wanted it to be a gradual process, allowing him time and space to adjust to it.

Now, that choice was taken away from me. I was not allowed the time I needed, _he _needed, to grow accustomed to the idea. We had been thrust into this harsh awakening, and it filled me with fury. All I had wanted was the chance to let Edward know me without frightening him but, with the vultures circling overhead, that was no longer an option.

_The damned Volturi_. While I could appreciate the peace and order they established in our world, I despised their need to continuously conquer and acquire. They had already attempted to incorporate Alice and me to their ranks, unsuccessfully. Now, they wanted Edward. It was really a cruel twist of fate that Eleazar, while in Seattle to attempt to convince us yet again, had sensed Edward and his latent abilities, whatever those may be.

Alice had the vision of our future mates twenty-seven years ago, when their parents met. We realized they would be brothers because she had the vision about both our futures at the very same moment, the catalyst of which being their parents crossing paths.

Over the years, she had kept a close watch, trying to pick up on details. Only recently was she able to pinpoint where they lived by having a vision of them walking around the University of Washington campus. We had been quite surprised by this news; Alice and I had made the decision of where to move last time, and we had unanimously chosen the state of Washington, finally settling on Forks. It was a tiny town in the Olympic Peninsula, which afforded us privacy and the freedom of very few sunny days. Carlisle secured a job at the hospital, an easy feat considering he was an extremely skilled doctor, and my mother found a beautiful, crumbling manor in the outskirts of town that she would enjoy renovating.

So, it really had been serendipitous that we had chosen the state they lived in before we even knew it ourselves. We applied to U-Dub and moved to Seattle a couple of months ago, excited to finally get to meet the ones that were destined for us. Alice's gift was a wonderful advantage; having someone in the family who could see the future certainly came in handy.

There had been reservations, of course. They were humans, after all, and that encumbered us with some delicate decisions. We would have to tell them about us, and then they'd have to make the decision as to whether they chose to join us in this life, with everything that entailed. They would have to be changed at some point, and that was not an easy experience for either the maker nor the newborn. I could attest to that on both fronts.

Given all the intrinsic obstacles that having a human mate presented, I was beyond disgruntled that the Volturi had thrown themselves into the mix, making everything even more complicated for all involved. And now I had to explain all this and more, much sooner than I had intended, to the anxious man at my side.

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**Edward POV**

There was a sleek alarm clock by the bed; it read 6:18. The diaphanous white curtains that spanned the width of the vast floor-to-ceiling windows did little to block the first lights of the morning. It would be another overcast day, the light casting a faint bluish glow around the room.

I awoke disoriented and very thirsty, and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Glancing around me, I spotted a glass of water by the alarm clock, thick with condensation; it had not been sitting there for very long. I chugged it down, the coolness of the water soothing my agitation. I laid back down, kicking the sheets off my legs. These felt a lot better than the ones I had on my bed; must be one of those 900 thousand thread count sheets that mom always insisted on buying.

I didn't remember getting in bed. The last thing I remembered was Bella explaining to me how it could possibly be her in that ancient photograph, and the unbelievable story that followed it. I guess I must have passed out at some point, my previous sleepless night, compounded with the insanity of everything she told me, having pushed me towards unconsciousness.

Flashes of that conversation ran through my head as I stared at the shadows that danced on the ceiling. _That is my mother and I, I was 5 years old… This picture was taken in 1898… No, Edward, we don't age after we've been changed… _I shot up in bed, my hand grabbing at my hair, as the next recollection snaked through my brain. It had taken Bella two hours to get to the point; she dodged the issue and avoided it as much as she could, trying to word it this way and that way. The explanation had been long-winded and verbose, but I only remembered one word… _vampire._

It made as little sense then as it did now. Vampires weren't real, they couldn't be. Could they? According to Bella, there were many of them walking amongst humans without us being none the wiser. These people that wanted me to join their guard, Volturi, I think she called them, were vampires as well. And they wanted to change me into one. When I asked Bella what that would entail, she changed the subject, saying it was nothing I had to worry about right now, which probably meant it _was_ something I should worry about.

"Edward?" Came a whisper from the door.

I was suddenly aware that I was wearing only my boxers. I pulled the sheets back up quickly, looking around the room. I spotted my pants and shirt neatly folded on a chair against the wall. _Had she undressed me?_

"Come in," I mumbled.

The door closed and Bella walked to the bed, sitting on the very edge.

"You're finally awake," she said with a small smile.

"How did you know I was awake?" I blurted out. Her uncanny knowledge of things that shouldn't be obvious still unsettled me.

She frowned a little, as if deciding what to tell me. "I heard you."

"But I barely made a sound in here," I pressed.

She sighed in resignation. "I heard your heartbeat pick up, as well as your breathing," she explained.

My hand shot to my chest of its own accord; had it been beating that loudly? Maybe I was about to have a heart attack. Considering the recent turn of events, it wasn't entirely impossible at this point.

Bella laughed softly, guessing what my concern was. "No, there's nothing wrong with your heart. A human wouldn't be able to hear it, but I can."

"You can hear it?" My voice was loaded with disbelief.

She nodded. "I told you about this last night," she reminded me.

"What happened last night anyway? How did I end up in here?" I wondered, looking around the room once more.

"Well," she hesitated, "I had just shown you a picture of my mother, Carlisle, Alice and myself, taken at the 1939 World's Fair in New York. You asked me to stop talking for a bit and closed your eyes. A minute later, you were sound asleep, so I brought you in here. I'm sorry, perhaps I shouldn't have. I just assumed you'd rest more comfortably this way," she said with an apology in her eyes. I vaguely mused whether her contrition was meant for her bringing me to this bed, or if it encompassed the removal of my pants as well.

"Did you just roll me all the way to the bedroom? Because you don't look like you could lift me," I inferred, eyeing her slender arms.

Bella laughed again. The sound was pleasant and melodious. "No, Edward. I carried you."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "I'm sorry, I just got a mental image of you trying to carry me, and it looked pretty hilarious." I was about eight inches taller than her, and she couldn't weigh more than 110 lbs. She didn't look strong enough to lift one of my legs. "Maybe you levitated me with your mind powers?" I suggested.

Bella pursed her lips; she was offended. I instantly felt like an asshole. She had told me how some vampires had gifts beyond the norm, and that she and Alice both possessed certain skills, though she didn't go into details. "I'm sorry," I hastened to apologize. "I'm just still trying to wrap my head around everything you told me."

She looked down at her hands, and mumbled, "It's all right. I know it's a lot to take in."

Suddenly standing up, Bella headed for the door. "I'll give you some privacy to get dressed, then perhaps I can take you to get something to eat. You must be hungry," she correctly assumed.

"Um… yeah…" I replied eloquently.

In that moment, before Bella could leave the room, Alice came prancing in with a bag in one hand and a to-go cup that saturated the air with the heavy aroma of coffee, and trilled, "Who's hungry?"

Note to self: vampires have no sense of boundaries.

Bella failed at suppressing a smile, and shooed Alice out of the room.

"It seems we won't need to go out to feed you after all, Alice has taken care of that. Get dressed, we'll be in the living room," Bella said before closing the door behind her.

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I hopped off the bed and got dressed, making a quick stop at the en suite bathroom to splash some water on my face. My hair was in wild disarray, but then again, nothing new there. I tried to flatten it down, to no avail. A quick search for toothpaste proved unfruitful.

Bella and Alice were sitting in the living room, the bag containing unknown breakfast items in front of them on a glass coffee table. I walked towards the couch where they sat, but stopped halfway, unsure of where I should sit. Without any discernible prompting, Alice stood and moved to an armchair, pointing to the seat she had just vacated next to Bella.

I settled by Bella, our legs close enough to touch. She handed me the bag and, as I opened it, the smell of fresh muffins wafted around my face. I pulled them out to discover three blueberry muffins from Bakery Nouveau, which were my absolute favorite, though I didn't often get them because the shop was quite out of my way.

My stomach rumbled at the smell of food, and I took a greedy bite. I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday, and I was ravenous. Devouring the first muffin quickly and moving on to the second, I remembered my manners.

"Thanks, Alice. These are my favorite," I mumbled as I took another bite.

"You're welcome," she replied, giving Bella a satisfied little smile.

I was suddenly self-conscious. I realized neither of them was eating anything while I scarfed down the muffins. "I'm sorry, I didn't even offer to share. Did you want some?" I asked, looking from Alice to Bella, embarrassed by my rudeness.

"No, thank you, Edward," Bella answered with a pat on my thigh.

"Are you sure you're not hungry? There's still one left," I insisted.

Alice chuckled under her breath and Bella gave me a placating look before she said, "We're sure, Edward. We're not hungry, just eat."

It was then that I realized my stupidity. If they were vampires, they probably didn't eat food. Suddenly, my throat felt constricted.

"Are you going to kill me?" I inquired, suddenly apprehensive. Looking at Bella, I realized that I couldn't bring myself to actually be afraid. Being near her just felt _right_, like nothing else ever had. Even if she was planning to suck my blood, she would have to touch those lips to my neck to do it. _What a way to go_.

Bella looked over at Alice, then at me, her eyes wide as saucers. "Why would you think that?" She asked, the words making her lips tremble on the way out.

I forced myself to swallow before I voiced my concern. "Well, if you're vampires, I presume you drink blood?" I let the rest of my train of thought hang in the air.

Bella saw where I was going with this. She had a pained look on her face, but Alice seemed to find the whole thing very amusing.

"Yes, Edward, we do. But our family doesn't… drink from humans," she explained, "and even if we did, I would never drink from you," Bella vowed solemnly. "So the answer is no, we're not going to kill you. Nor will anyone else," she said fiercely.

"What kind of blood do you drink, then?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

It was Alice who answered my query. "We drink the blood of animals. We Cullens choose to live differently from the rest of our kind; Carlisle instilled in us a deep reverence for human life, so we strive to not harm humans," she explained casually as if we were discussing the weather.

"But if you can survive without human blood, why don't all vampires just do that? Wouldn't it be easier?" I wondered out loud.

Bella looked slightly uncomfortable, but she answered my question, choosing her words carefully.

"Well… it is true that we can survive just fine on the blood of animals. But it's not really as satisfying as… the alternative. It would be like a human being forced to live on a vegetarian diet. You'll get the nutrients you need, but you'll probably always crave a steak," she pondered.

"Is there a chance that I'll be your steak?" I teased, winking at Bella.

My attempt at humor worked. Bella laughed as she answered me, "No, Edward. You are permanently off my menu," she assured me with a last chuckle.

Appeased for the moment, I allowed myself to enjoy her proximity, her lavender and honey scent enveloping me as I ate the last muffin.

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With an ironclad promise from Bella that I would see her later this evening, I hurried to my apartment for a shower and a fresh change of clothes before heading to class.

Though Bella told me a lot last night, I had a feeling it wasn't everything. What I learned so far should be enough to have me afraid, or at least thinking that Bella was certifiably nuts, but neither was the case. I had a strange sense of acceptance of her and the story she had shared with me. Even though it all sounded crazy and impossible to believe, I did. I felt the truth of her words in my bones.

Class had been the usual bore, but I had thoughts of Bella and the anticipation of seeing her tonight to hold me over. She would meet me at my apartment at 8, so daydreaming of her would have to do until then.

Once my classes were done for the day, I hurried out to my car, eager to get home. I wanted to pick up the place a little, maybe buy some fresh flowers. As I made my way through the lobby to exit the building, I spotted Tanya a few feet off to the left side of the door. It took me a second to realize that she wasn't alone; James was with her. They were far enough away that I could get away with not saying hello and, in any case, Tanya shouldn't even be able to see me, wrapped around his body as she was.

She did spot me on my way out, however, and immediately stuck her tongue halfway down James's throat; it was a wonder she hadn't choked him to death. Tanya kept her eyes on mine as she mauled him, probably expecting a negative reaction. I slowed my step for a moment before I reached the doors, just enough time to give her a sweet smile and an encouraging 'thumbs' up before I made it outside. I couldn't contain my laughter at her embarrassing display.

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I had been pacing in my living for the past half hour, much too anxious to sit still for two seconds together. Being back in my apartment after a regular day, doing the things that were part of my routine, drove away from my mind the strangeness of everything Bella had told me about herself. Right now, all I could think about was her face, and the pulsing desire I had to see it again.

On my hundredth lap around the room, I heard a soft knock on the door. I threw myself at it to wrench it open, as if she would change her mind and leave if I didn't let her in fast enough. And there she stood, hands in the pockets of her jeans, a coy smile on her face.

"Hi," I say breathlessly.

"Hi, yourself." Her smile widened.

I stood there for a long moment, just staring at her perfect face, feeling completely at peace, a lazy grin spreading on my lips like butter on a toast.

"Hm… May I come in?" She asked hesitantly.

I snapped out of my trance, feeling like an idiot for letting her stand there outside my door for who knows how long.

"Of course, please, please, come in," I said as I reached for her hand, which she placed in mine eagerly. I led her to the couch and we sat side by side.

"So, you use the door now, huh?" How is that for an ice breaker? I immediately wanted to slap myself for opening my mouth.

"Would you rather I continued to come in through the window?" She asked, unable to hide her mirth.

"No, no, the door is fine." And the prize for best conversationalist goes to… _not_ Edward Masen, obviously. I'd never had a problem carrying on a conversation with a girl before, but now I found myself struck dumb by Bella's proximity. "No Alice tonight?"

"No, it's just me tonight, I'm afraid. But I'll let her know that you asked for her," Bella replied with a smirk. "Alice went to see your brother tonight," she informed me in a tone that made me think Jasper would be learning some 'fun' facts about the object of his infatuation.

"Is she… telling him?" I inquired tentatively.

Bella looked me straight in the eyes and nodded.

"Should you be there with her?" I wondered. Perhaps it would be easier for Jasper to accept the story if Bella had been there to help Alice explain it? I suddenly felt apprehensive for my brother. What would he think? How would he react? Would he even believe a word of it?

"Edward, calm down." Bella placed both hands on either side of my face, bringing it close to hers; she could sense I had been working myself into a panic. Her breath washing over my face calmed me, though my heart rate actually picked up. The nearness of her made my entire being vibrate in recognition of her touch. "Jasper will be fine. Alice saw that things would go smoother if it were just the two of them there for this talk. And Jasper's reaction might surprise you," she suggested.

I wondered vaguely what she meant when she said that Alice "saw" how things would go with my brother, but I couldn't seem to form a coherent thought right now. The only thing my brain seemed to process was that her lips were within a few inches of mine, and they were drawing me in like a siren's song. My breath was coming out in labored pants as I moved a hand to grasp her shoulder, the anticipation of kissing her had me as tight as a piano string. My head moved towards hers of its own accord, my lips rejoicing as they got ever closer to touching hers.

If I were being honest with myself, I had to admit I dreamed of this moment a thousand times. Ever since I saw Bella for the first time, to be precise. I imagined what it would be like to breathe her in, to run my fingers through her long, dark tresses, to kiss her soft mouth, to caress her tongue with mine. Now that the moment was finally here, I was having trouble reining in the impulse to shove my face in hers, and keep it there for several days.

She seemed as entranced by the idea of kissing me as I was. Her lips were slightly parted, her eyes burned dark gold, boring deep into mine. She breathed evenly in subdued expectation, and the smell of it made my mouth water. _Just move one more inch, and you'll be kissing her! Do it!_ I got up my nerve, to hell with hesitating.

I felt my lips brush against hers for a fraction of a second before her head snapped towards the window, a terrifying growl filling the room, making the walls practically tremble. She shot up from the couch to the window with a speed that rendered me unable to follow her movements. The growl was coming from _her_.

"Bella?" I asked, suddenly anxious that I had done something to offend her. "What's wrong?"

The snarl subsided to a low, guttural sound deep in her chest, as she turned to look at me. I guess seeing the anguish on my face softened her somewhat. That didn't last, though. I went to stand by her at the window as she turned to look outside again, roaring like an enraged lioness, obviously deeply perturbed by something hidden in the darkness that I couldn't see.

Bella took my hands and draped my arms around her neck, pressing her back to my stomach, the menacing growl still issuing from her making my chest tingle. For a brief instant, she touched her hands to my forearms where they sat intertwined around the top of her shoulders, and I hugged her tight against me. Bella slid her left hand down the side of my thigh, gripping my pant leg, as her right hand tightened its grip, binding my arms in place.

And then she leaped out the window.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think, so leave me a review =)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't normally put AN's on top of chapters, but I hope you will forgive me for it this one time. **

**I am completely blown away and humbled by the response this story has received, thanks to the recs by Cara No and HolletLA. You guys rocked my world .  
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**Thank you everyone who's been reading and leaving me reviews. You're all such perceptive readers and posed so many good questions. Rest assured that pretty much all of them will be addressed in the story. But enough about that.  
**

**And now, on with the show!  
**

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Chapter 7

The giggles bubbled out of my lips uncontrollably. Jasper was sitting on the porch steps, holding his face in his hands, in full on 'pout mode.'

"Rosalieeeeee," Jasper whined.

She slowed down long enough to tell Jasper to wait his turn before she took off around the front yard again, making airplane noises. Her grip on my legs was tight enough that I could let go of her neck to spread my arms and lift my face to better feel the sun and the wind. It really felt like flying.

Rosalie was 13 years old, that age when girls want nothing more than to shut themselves in their rooms and talk on the phone with their friends. Not my sister. She always made time to play with Jasper and me, and on this sunny afternoon, she was giving us piggyback rides, pretending she was an airplane and we were the pilots.

"Yeeeeeeooooooowwwwnnnnn….!" Rosalie crowed as we did another fly-by of the mailbox. I laughed loudly with joy.

Rosalie had already hit her growth spurt, and at 13, her lean, tall-for-her-age stature hinted at the beautiful woman she would become. Jasper and I, 7 and 9 years old respectively, still looked very much like little boys, scrawny and short. The world looked so different when seen from the height of my big sister's back. Playing airplane with her had been my favorite thing; I had the fondest memories of Rose hauling me around on her back. When she got tired, she'd collapse backwards onto the grass, effectively landing on top me, yelling "Mayday!" all the while.

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This piggyback ride, however, was quite different. When Bella jumped out my living room window with me attached to her back, my instinct had been to scream in fright, but the fall made my stomach jam in my throat, effectively silencing me. Oh yeah, did I mention I lived on the 5th fucking floor?

I was fully expecting for the both of us to go splat onto the sidewalk, but even though the drop was abrupt, Bella landed on the balls of her feet, somehow absorbing the impact so that I barely felt jostled. Once I realized we were safely on the ground and I no longer had a reason to be scared shitless, — and after double-checking that I hadn't wet my pants — I had the impulse to ask her if we could do it again. It probably wouldn't be a good idea, not while she had that murderous look on her face, anyway.

She unwound my arms from around her neck and pulled me towards a black car parked precisely in front of my building as she fished in her pocket for the remote to unlock the doors.

I reached the passenger-side door and stared at the car, my mouth hanging open. "Hey, is this an SLR McLar…"

"Get in," she spat, interrupting my question.

I got into the car, and no sooner than my door was shut, she was peeling out into the street.

"Put your seat belt on," she commanded as her eyes darted between the rear view mirror and the road.

I did as she asked, hoping to appease her, but she was so tense that it was starting to freak me out. "Bella, what's going on? Are we running from something?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly; it seemed as though she was fighting to control herself. Bella raised a hand, prompting me to wait, but didn't respond. She had her cell phone out, hitting a number on the speed dial.

"Alice?" She paused to hear what Alice had to say next. "No, we got out in time." Another pause. "Good, stay with him. I'm heading home, Edward is with me. Meet us there. And don't leave him out of your sight," Bella ordered, and ended the call.

I glanced out the window; the streets blurred past us, but I noticed she was headed for the I-5, heading out of Seattle. "Bella, where are we going?"

"Forks," she replied.

"What's that?"

"A small town on the coast. That's where my family lives," Bella explained.

"The coast? Bella, that's an almost four-hour drive!"

Bella gave me a sly grin, and nodded her head towards the speedometer. I noticed the needle was steadily moving upwards; it was already past the 120 mark. "No, it's not," she said with a wink.

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If I hadn't been so preoccupied with the events — so far, still unknown to me — that led to us dashing out of Seattle like a couple of bank robbers, I would have been yelling in pleasure with my head hanging out the window like a dog as Bella pushed the speed past 160. Not that I would have accomplished the feat of sticking my head out the window; the four-point seat belt kept my ass glued to the seat, and even as she took every turn without slowing down, my body remained in place.

In just slightly under an hour, we were pulling up in front of an enormous house with floor-to-ceiling glass panels that spanned the width of the front walls. I started undoing the seat belt, but Bella stopped me.

"Stay here," she said, then walked out of the car and came around to my side. She stood stock-still, as if listening for something, then nodded once to herself. "It's all right now. You can come out."

I exited the car and eagerly took the hand she offered me, and together we walked up the stairs to the wide front porch. Just then, a yellow Porsche screeched to a halt, parking next to Bella's car. A second later, Alice and Jasper joined us on the steps. The door opened, revealing the man I had seen hugging Bella and handing her the manila envelope, a beautiful woman standing by his side, her face smiling in welcome. I didn't recognize her at first, but she looked so familiar. It was with a jolt that I realized this was Bella's _mother_. It was obvious now; she looked exactly like she had in the picture Bella showed me of herself as a little girl, holding hands with her mother. They looked a lot alike, the same almond-like eyes, the same heart-shaped face.

Bella's mother walked forward and took my hand in both of hers. "Welcome, Edward; it's so good to finally meet you," she greeted me with warmth. "And Jasper, too! Please, won't you come in?" She invited us, having spotted Jasper standing behind Bella, Alice bringing up the rear.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen," I said politely as I entered the house. The living room was brightly lit, decorated much in the same fashion as the apartment Bella and Alice shared in Seattle, with light colors and understated furniture.

"Please, call me Esme. This is my husband, Carlisle," she said, introducing the tall, blond man.

He smiled openly at me, shaking my hand with vigor. "We're so glad you're finally here. Both of you," Carlisle said, looking between Jasper and me. I still felt a little residual antagonism towards him, even though I now knew that my jealousy of him was completely unfounded.

Jasper moved past me to shake hands with Carlisle, and then turned to hug Esme as if they'd known each other all their lives. She returned the hug with feeling, releasing a contented little sigh. I couldn't help but stare in surprise. Jasper seemed to be completely comfortable and at home here. Did he not know anything yet?

After the introductions were over, Carlisle, Bella and Alice disappeared through a door after Bella promised to "be right back." Esme excused herself and walked briskly to the kitchen, leaving Jasper and me by ourselves in the living room.

"Jasper, did Alice tell you anything?"

He looked at me as if seeing me for the first time, a slow grin appearing on his face. "Yeah, man, can you believe this? They're vampires! How cool is that? Does Bella drive like a bat outta hell too? If I hadn't been in love with Alice already, I would be after I saw her drive that car. It was sexy as hell," he prattled on.

Was Jasper in shock or something? He was taking this all too well. Did he know about these Volturi characters? "What did Alice tell you?"

"She explained the whole 'mates' concept, and that's why we sort of fell in love at first sight, and that the same happened to you and Bella. She told me she and Bella are vampires, but they're not dangerous to us because they don't eat humans. She told me all about her family, Bella, Carlisle, and Esme. They sound like amazing people," Jasper concluded, an expression of pure happiness on his face. So Alice must have omitted the part about how the vampire mafia wanted us to join their ranks. Well, I suppose he could enjoy his bliss for a little while longer. There was nothing either one of us could do to help that for now, anyway.

Jasper suddenly pulled me into a hug, slapping my back a couple of times before letting go. "This is all completely crazy, isn't it, bro? But I'm glad we're in this mess together," he chuckled.

I joined him in his good spirits. "Me, too, Jazz," I agreed.

When I addressed him as "Jazz," he seemed to have remembered something. "By the way, can you help me convince Alice to at least use my 'official' nickname? She insists on calling me 'Jaspy,'" he requested with feigned annoyance. I'd be willing to bet Alice could call him anything she wanted, and he would go running to her just the same, lovesick fool that he was. Who was I kidding? I got it just as bad for Bella, though I've been lucky; she hasn't attempted to call me 'Eddiepoo' yet or something equally embarrassing. I'd have to assert my manliness if she tried.

Esme came out of the kitchen then, a poorly disguised grin on her face, holding a tray with two cans of soda and some sandwiches. She set it down on the coffee table in front of us, and Jasper unceremoniously reached over to grab one of the sodas and a sandwich. Bella's family would think we were raised in a barn.

I glared at Jasper, and he shrugged in response, grunting "What?" through a mouthful of food. I rolled my eyes at him so forcefully I momentarily feared they'd be lost in the back of my head.

Reaching for a sandwich, I made sure to thank Esme before I took a bite, showing her that at least _one_ of the Masen brothers had manners. For some reason, I felt it was very important that she liked me. Maybe because she was the mother of the girl I was falling head over heels for. She looked on fondly as we ate our way through the entire tray of sandwiches. I didn't know about Jasper, but I hadn't eaten all day and my stomach was stuck to my back by now.

Esme kindly refrained from making conversation, thus not forcing us to speak with our mouths full. Not that it would have deterred Jasper in any way, rude little troll that he was. Just as we were done eating, Bella walked into the living room, Carlisle and Alice following close behind her.

"Thank you for feeding them, mother. I had completely forgotten." She looked over to me, her eyes downcast in apology.

"Of course, dear. It was my pleasure," Esme beamed. I had the distinct impression that she was being sincere with that statement.

Carlisle moved to stand by his wife as Bella reached me and took my hand. "Come with me, Edward."

Alice sat on the couch next to Jasper, and he immediately placed an arm around her shoulder as they engaged in a whispered conversation. Bella smiled slightly at whatever she heard them say while I followed her up a winding, wooden staircase.

She led me down a long hallway on the third floor to a room at the very end. It was as large as my whole apartment, with glass panels on two walls that converged on a corner of the house. The moon was full and it cast a subtle glow over the room. I could see Bella's face clearly, even though no lights were on. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, as if she were an apparition straight out of my wildest dreams.

"Alice called ahead and had my mother make sleeping arrangements for you and Jasper," she explained as I looked around the room, my eyes falling on a bed recently made with fresh sheets.

"Nice guest room," I complimented her.

"Oh. Um, this is my room," she corrected me, suddenly abashed. "Anyway, it's late, and it's been a long day. You must be tired. There is a bathroom through that door, you should find everything you need in there," Bella added quickly. "I'll let you get some rest," she said, moving towards the door.

I was unwilling to let her go yet. "Stay with me for a bit?"

Bella seemed surprised by my request, but complied with good grace, and took a seat on an armchair near the door.

"I'll be right back," I told her, rushing to the bathroom. I almost cried with joy when I found a toothbrush still in its package and an unused tube of toothpaste by the sink. I spotted shaving accessories on the edge of the marble counter, and from running a hand over my face, I knew I was sporting a healthy five o'clock shadow, but I really didn't want to keep Bella waiting much longer, so I decided to skip the shave until morning, opting to just brush my teeth. I was just thinking about how I didn't want to sleep in the clothes I had been wearing all day when a stack of neatly folded cloth sitting on a stool caught my eye. It was a pair of flannel pajama pants, but no shirt. Well, I guess that's settled. I discarded my jeans and t-shirt quickly for the flannel pants and walked out of the bathroom.

Bella still sat on the same armchair, and from the look of her, she hadn't moved. I got into the bed, the exhaustion of the day catching up with me. Suddenly, I thought of my brother.

"Where is Jasper going to sleep?"

"Alice will be taking care of him, you have nothing to worry about," she assured me.

I slumped back on the pillow and closed my eyes. I was so tired, but my mind refused to settle down. I felt a slight jostling on the mattress next to me, and opened my eyes to find Bella sitting there.

"Is this all right?" She asked, her voice colored by uncertainty.

"Of course it is," I soothed her, elated by her closeness.

She placed a hand on top of my head and began running her fingertips softly through my scalp, cuddling my head against her chest, and the effect was instantaneous. The second her hand touched me, I no longer had a care in the world. This was home; this was where I belonged, right here with her.

Bella touched her lips to my forehead ever so gently, and whispered, "Sleep, my love. I'll watch over you through the night."

A blissful sigh escaped me before I lapsed into a peaceful sleep.

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**Bella POV**

Carlisle and I were already seated in his study when Alice and Esme finally joined us.

"Took you long enough," I admonished Alice as she entered.

She raised her eyebrows at me and then broke into quiet laughter. "Jasper kept waking up every time I stood up to leave the room; I just now managed to escape without waking him," she said.

Alice came to sit on the arm of my chair while Esme settled next to Carlisle on the couch.

Mother turned to me. "Bella, dear, I've gotten their clothes washed, they're in the dryer and should be ready well before morning," she informed me.

I nodded at her gratefully. "Thank you, mother."

"Bella, I've already filled Esme in on what little you told me when you arrived, that you smelled Felix nearby, then ran with Edward before he could pinpoint your location," Carlisle quickly summarized.

I nodded. "Yes. He was so close. My reactions might have scared Edward a little," I began, now regretting my outburst of fury and the rash decision to take him away through the window. "Oh my God, I could have killed him!" My hands flew to my mouth at the horror of my realization.

"Killed him how?" Carlisle asked urgently.

This was going to be embarrassing to admit. "When I picked up Felix scent, I flew into a rage, and all rational thought went right down the drain. I grabbed Edward and jumped out the window with him, got in the car, and drove here," I said.

"I still don't see how you could have killed him, Bella. Do you mean on the drive? You know better than to think you'd get in an accident," Carlisle tried to placate me.

I shook my head. "No, I mean when I jumped out the window. He lives on the 5th floor. I didn't even think about it at the time, but it was quite a drop. I could have given him a heart attack," I explained, completely mortified.

Alice burst out laughing, earning herself a sour look from me, while Carlisle worked hard to contain a smirk. "Bella, he's quite young and seemingly in excellent health. It would take more than a little scare to make his heart stop," he said.

"It was still careless of me. There is no excuse for me not keeping his human frailties in mind. Anyway, no point in dwelling on it now, it's done. I'll just need to remember to be more careful in the future," I said, effectively closing the subject. I would beat myself up about it later; we had other matters to discuss now.

I turned to Carlisle. "I warned Felix the first time he tried to seize Edward; you know, the usual protocol," I stated airily. The Volturi knew that Carlisle and his family had established a permanent residence in Washington, and that we interacted with humans. We have a track record of being protective of the humans in the area. It benefited our anonymity not to have human bodies showing up inexplicably drained. Based on this widely known premise, I prevented Felix from touching Edward that night outside the club. It was imperative that the Volturi remained in the dark about the ties between the Masens and us. If they suspected what Edward and Jasper meant to Alice and me… I shudder to think how the Volturi could use them to bend us to their will.

"But he tried again tonight?" Carlisle inquired, a frown marring his usually placid countenance.

"Honestly, I can't be 100% sure about what he would do. It might have been just a reconnaissance trip, but I wasn't willing to chance it. When I realized he was in the vicinity, we were out of there like the place was on fire," I clarified.

Eleazar had mentioned, in passing, that he sensed a talented human nearby when he tracked down Alice and me a few weeks ago. She had seen his visit happening at our apartment, but he made a last-minute decision to find us at the school instead, which brought him close enough to Edward to pick up on some ability he appeared to possess. Eleazar didn't elaborate, and we couldn't afford to ask further questions and risk bringing our link to the Volturi's attention. As far as we could tell, their interest was centered on Edward; Jasper was safe for the time being. This encounter, of course, had put a damper on our plans to casually "meet" the Masen brothers. With Eleazar expressing his notice of Edward, we had to remain in the shadows. Felix's actions forced me to intervene, but we had a plausible explanation for that.

"I know Eleazar has returned to Italy, so Felix must have stayed behind alone. I doubt they'd feel the need to have more than one member of their guard to bring in a human. Have you detected any other scents around Edward?" Carlisle wanted to know.

I shook my head. "No, Felix is the only one of them who's been anywhere near him, apart from Eleazar. Now that he is back in Italy, I don't know what information he will give them, and how invested they will be in obtaining Edward, which might mean they'll send a larger party to retrieve him. He's human, you know they won't extend him the same courtesy as they have us. He's only a step up from being a meal because they deem him useful, but not worthy of any consideration until he's one of them," I finished, unable to keep the sadness off my voice.

"What if we kept them here, out of sight, for a little while?" My mother suggested. "Maybe Felix would give up for the time being? We know Demetri isn't here, it should give us some breathing room."

Demetri was the Volturi's tracker. If he decided to find someone, there was no place on earth one could hide from him.

"As much as I'd like to, we can't keep them away from Seattle. If they disappeared, it would raise questions. They have family, friends, and obligations. We can't keep them from their classes, and they're playing at Perestroika this weekend. I doubt they'd agree to leave their band mates in a lurch, nor would I ask." Mother's face fell slightly at my words.

"I'm worried," I whispered to no one in particular. Alice put an arm around my shoulders, resting her cheek on the top of my head. She has always been such a comfort to me, from the day she woke up from the change.

"It will be all right, dear. We'll think of something. We'll keep them safe," mother vowed.

Alice straightened and stilled all of a sudden. I was out of my seat in a flash.

"Alice, what do you see?" I demanded, my hands on her face.

She remained immobile for another minute, then her body relaxed. "Felix will be called back to Italy in a few minutes. Eleazar will tell Aro about the human he sensed, and Aro will be _very_ excited about Edward's ability. I can't tell what he will see in Eleazar's mind. Aro will send him back with Demetri and Afton; Felix won't join them."

"When?" Carlisle asked.

Alice's eyes went out of focus again, but just for a few seconds this time. "I can't be sure. I see our Christmas decorations will be up, so maybe a month. They're going to ask for our help with Edward. They think that if they go about it diplomatically, since they're technically stepping on our territory, we won't stand in their way. Felix is staying behind because they don't want to appear confrontational, and Felix is not exactly Mr. Congeniality," she quickly described her vision. Then she began clapping her hands excitedly, and exclaimed, "Oh yay, it'll be cold enough to wear my new purple pea coat; you know the one, Bella? This calls for a new pair of boots, I don't have any that match it. When can we go shopping?" Alice smiled at me, expecting an answer.

Trust Alice to worry about what she was going to wear when the Volturi came calling. The girl had no sense of priorities whatsoever.

"Alice, focus! So we have a month before we have to deal with them again?"

She nodded. "That's the time frame we have to work with for now, yes, but you know that's not set in stone. I'll keep watch, though," Alice assured us.

Reaching for Alice's hand, I towed her with me towards the door. "Carlisle, Alice and I need to hunt. Would you mind staying here with mother while we're gone? We won't be long, but I don't want to leave Edward and Jasper on their own, just in case."

It was mother who replied, "Yes, of course we'll stay." She stood and shooed us out the door. "Go, go, they'll be fine," she added with a smirk.

As Alice and I ran through the forest, I allowed myself a small measure of relief. Naturally, I couldn't afford to get complacent and make the mistake of believing it would really be an entire month before they came for Edward. We'd still need to plan our course of action; there was no way we would simply abide by their wishes and allow the Volturi to have Edward but, right now, I was at a loss to see how this could be accomplished without any hostility.

No, it wouldn't be a month. The storm was coming as surely as the world turns. But I could grant myself a few days to enjoy the sunshine before it came. My thoughts turned to Edward, and I could almost feel the warmth of the sun on my face.

##############################################

**Edward POV**

I awoke alone. As I got up from the bed, the morning chill hitting my body with a slap. It seemed to be shortly after sunrise, and a light fog still clung to the windows. I went into the bathroom to retrieve my clothes, more importantly, my shirt, but they weren't where I left them. They were nowhere to be found, so I wrapped myself in the blanket and padded out into the hallway. All the doors were closed, and the house was deathly quiet.

"Um… Bella?" I whispered, hoping she was close enough to hear me.

A second later, she poked her head around the top of the stairs. "Yes?"

Relief flooded through me at the sight of her. I didn't like waking up to find her gone. "Where were you?"

"Mother and I are in the kitchen. She wanted to prepare breakfast for you and Jasper, and she's trying to teach me how to cook. It's not very easy to cook stuff that tastes like dirt to me," she said, scrunching up her nose.

I laughed nervously. "There's really no need to go through all that trouble, we can get something to eat later."

Bella graced me with a breathtaking smile. "It's no trouble at all, and mother is just having the time of her life with her newfound reason to use the kitchen. Come join us downstairs, I don't think Jasper is awake yet."

"I'd love to. But I kind of need my clothes for that," I whispered.

"Of course. They're in the dryer, mother insisted on washing them. They should be done, let me get them for you," she said, disappearing back down the stairs and returning a few beats later with my clothes neatly folded, still warm from the dryer.

Bella handed me the clothes, and I held out my arm from under the blanket to accept them.

"Are you cold?" She asked, eyeing the goosebumps that erupted on my skin.

"No, no, I'm fine," I assured her, but she didn't seem to believe me. I was actually freezing.

"I'm so sorry, we're not really used to having human guests here," she apologized. "You and Jasper actually have the great honor of being the first ones," Bella declared with a mocking curtsy. "Go get dressed and come downstairs, I'll go turn the heat on."

I followed the smell of burned bacon, finding Bella and Esme standing by the stove. There was a heaping platter of scrambled eggs on the counter, a stack of toast next to it that looked to be the entire loaf, and a plate of non-charred bacon.

"No, Bella, you have to flip it after a couple of minutes, or this happens," Esme was saying, holding up a blackened-looking strip for inspection.

"Good morning," I called hesitantly. Bella turned around to face me, her brilliant smile stunning me for a moment.

"Good morning," Esme said. "Come sit, we have breakfast ready," she announced proudly, pointing at the food with the spatula she held.

I sat at the counter while Esme started piling up eggs on a plate. "Jasper still asleep?" I wondered as I helped myself to a piece of toast.

Bella was lowering herself onto the seat next to me when I asked about Jasper. She paused for a second, listening, before she sat down and answered, "Yes. Mother will save him some breakfast."

When I was done eating, I followed her to the entryway. Bella reached into a closet by the front door, pulling out a coat. "It's cold out, you should wear this," she suggested, offering me the jacket.

"Where are we going?" I asked when she took my hand and started walking toward her car.

"I want to show a place I like to go to when I'm in Forks," she told me. "If you'd like to see it, that is," she added quickly.

Rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb, I hastened to reassure her, "Wherever you go, that's where I want to be."

Her face relaxed into a smile, and then her eyes glinted with mischief. Holding up her key ring, she offered, "Do you want to drive?"

Happy birthday to me! No, it wasn't really my birthday, but the prospect of driving this car had me doing mental cartwheels. I'd do the real ones, but I'm not that flexible.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked, reaching for the keys she held out to me.

She shook her head with a giggle and settled on the passenger seat. Bella leaned towards the driver side and beckoned me, "Get in, Edward. I'll give you directions."

I didn't need telling twice. The purr of the engine elicited an indecent moan from me; Bella laughed heartily at that. Once we were outside the city limits, she directed me, "Turn on the 110. And then drive until the pavement ends."

* * *

**A/N: Guess where they're going? =D**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

We had been walking for nearly three hours. Bella led me in the opposite direction of the trail that began at the edge of the forest where we left the car. Though I'd have preferred to take the trail, the lack of it didn't bother me much. Jasper and I have been hiking since our late teens.

Bella walked ahead of me, but close enough that I could touch her back if I stretched out my arm. The temptation to do just that assaulted me more times that I cared to count. Without warning, she stopped moving, and I almost walked straight into her.

I then saw the reason for our sudden stop. A large tree had fallen on its side, impeding our progress. Its trunk was almost as thick as I was tall; the obstacle came up to my chest. I tried to climb on it, planning to stand on top and give Bella a hand to pull her up, but I wasn't making much progress.

She stood a few feet away, closely watching my pathetic attempt to go over the tree, her eyes following my every move. After a good ten minutes of me failing hard at this mountaineering thing, Bella took pity on me.

"Edward, would you like my help?" She asked with an encouraging smile.

Ouch, my pride. _What would Grizzly Adams think if he could see me now?_

"Um, sure," I replied. How would she help me get over the… Oh. The image of me flying five stories down on her back flashed unbidden through my mind.

Bella positioned herself next to me, holding out her right arm straight in front of her, her palm up-turned as if she was expecting me to put something in her hand. "Come on up," she instructed.

"Up where?" I asked.

"Put your foot on my hand, and I'll help you up," she explained.

I eyed her hand warily, doubting the validity of this plan, but placed my foot on her hand anyway. "I warn you, I'm quite heavy. And after Esme's cooking this morning, I can guarantee you I've put on ten pounds," I said.

She rolled her eyes at me and flicked her forearm upwards, throwing me bodily _over_ the tree trunk. With a startled shriek, I landed on my ass, my fall cushioned a bit by a pile of leaves. I still felt the thump on my tailbone as I hit the ground. _Great, now I'm going to have a bruise on my ass. _

Bella cursed under her breath and appeared next to me in the same moment, her face frantic. She knelt next to me, one hand on my shoulder, another on my face.

"Oh my god, Edward, I'm sorry! Are you all right? I didn't mean to toss you over the trunk, just on top of it, and then I'd help you down on the other side. I didn't realize how much force I was putting into it, I was so careless," she apologized, obviously upset with herself.

I sat up to show her I was not injured, and groaned, "I'm fine, Bella, no need to feel bad."

"Does anything hurt?" She demanded.

"I just hit my tailbone on the way down. My ass is a little sore, but nothing's damaged." _Well, maybe my man pride, but I'll nurse that one in private._

Bella looked troubled at the thought of having hurt me. I couldn't stand to see her look upset like this.

"You can rub it if you want, I'm sure that'll make it feel better," I joked, waggling my eyebrows at her.

She scoffed and pushed me back down on the bed of leaves, then walked away, laughing loudly. After ten or so steps, Bella stopped and turned to me.

"Are you going to lay there all day, or can we get moving?" Bella asked as she stood with her hip cocked to the side, her face alight with an impish expression.

I sighed happily just for looking at her, then jumped to my feet and jogged after her.

#################################

The sun shone brilliantly through a clearing in the woods. We were still ensconced in the cool shade of the dense forest around us. I had been eager to get to the patch of sunlight, but Bella held me back.

"Edward, wait a moment," she said.

I had been about to break into a sprint, but her words halted me mid-step. I turned to face her; Bella looked uneasy. I thought the spot of sunlight a few yards ahead was what she wanted to show me, but now she didn't seem to be in any particular rush to get there. I waited for her to say something; it would be just like me to open my big mouth and say something stupid, and she would end up feeling even more unsettled.

Bella kicked the dirt at her feet, her eyes downcast. "Edward, before we go on, I need to tell you about what happens when I go into direct sunlight," she began.

After meeting actual vampires, I had presumed that most of the legends were simply not true. Bella didn't have fangs, Carlisle didn't wear a black cape, and I had yet to see Esme turn into a bat, though Alice sometimes did a pretty good impression of one when she fluttered around in one of her bursts of excitement. Aside from the blood drinking, I had dismissed all the rest. But now the thought that the sun myth, of all things, could be true caused a surge of terror to bubble in my chest.

"Bella, are you going to be okay? Are you going to die? We have to get out of here, we're too close to the sun!" I yelled as I grabbed her hand and started tugging her in the opposite direction of the patch of sun. Yep. I was freaking out.

"Edward, calm down, I'm not going to die," she huffed as I realized that we hadn't moved an inch. I did tug at her hand, trying to pull her along with me, but I might as well have been trying to tow a car with a rubber band for all the progress I made.

I stared at her disbelievingly.

She raised a hand to my face, gently caressing my cheekbone with her thumb, and my panic eased. "Relax," she soothed me. "Nothing bad happens when I go into the sun. But my skin reacts to it in a way that can be startling if you're not expecting it, and it's very… inhuman. Which is why we can't ever show ourselves in the sunlight in front of humans. I will show you, but I wanted you to be prepared. My skin marks me for what I am, and I want you to know me… to _see _me," Bella explained, her eyes fierce and resolute.

With those words, she started walking towards the sunlight again. As she walked, she removed the jacket she had been wearing to reveal a thin, white sleeveless t-shirt. She stopped at the very edge of where the sun touched the grass; I could see the place clearly now.

It was small meadow.

Purple, white, and yellow flowers dotted the entire area of the circular clearing. It wasn't very large at all, but the sun streamed undeterred through a break in the trees. I walked to the middle of it, quickly shedding my coat as well so I could better feel the sun on my skin. It was still chilly, but the sun was quickly warming me through.

Bella still stood at the edge of the meadow, as if steeling herself before taking another step. This was a beautiful place, and she belonged here. Flowers and sunshine were a fitting tribute for her beauty. I held out my hand and gave her what I hoped was an encouraging smile.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and took a step.

I gasped loudly, my breath hitching in my throat.

Before I had the chance to realize what happened, Bella was back in the shadows, standing behind a tree, muttering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, don't be frightened."

"Bella? I'm not scared. Please, come join me. I was just surprised, that's all," I hurried to reassure her. _Why would she think I'd be afraid?_

She took a few tentative steps towards me, this time not pausing at the edge of the clearing, but walking straight into it. As she made her way to me, deliberately slow, I stared with my mouth hanging open. She was surrounded by rainbows, the faint ribbons of color moving with her. Like an intricately cut and perfectly polished crystal, Bella shone in the sunlight, little spots of brilliancy flashing on her skin. It was the most breathtaking sight I had ever been graced with; I knew I would never forget this for as long as I lived.

I wanted to say something, to tell her that I was okay, that I wasn't afraid of her, quite the contrary, but I couldn't find my voice. I was stunned into silence.

Bella looked at me expectantly, wearing an apprehensive look that told me she was feeling self-conscious; I still hadn't voiced my reaction to what she had shown me.

I touched a finger to her shoulder, running it down the length of her arm, stopping at her palm. I took her hand in mine, and the rainbows scattered around her skin. Staring at this vision of perfection, I told her, "Bella, you are the most beautiful thing to have ever walked the earth. I understand why you can't show yourself to humans like this; they'd think angels started falling from the sky." I hoped she would see the complete sincerity in my words; my voice sounded a little choked as I spoke.

Bella smiled at me, accepting what I said, and sat down on the grass where she stood, patting the spot next to her, inviting me to sit as well.

#################################

Bella was lying down on the grass with me next to her, our arms intertwined. The sun was shining directly overhead now, flooding the meadow with warmth, making Bella's skin shimmer like the surface of a lake at sunrise. I was mesmerized by her, unable to tear my eyes off her face.

She rubbed my forearm with her other hand in lazy, long strokes; the sensation of her cool fingers on my skin was indescribable. We lay there for a while, silently enjoying the sun and each other. Lying still for so long meant that my mind was working over time, and the questions I had for her could wait no longer.

I turned on my side and rested on my elbow, the better to look at her. Her eyes remained close.

"Bella?" I began.

"Hmm?"

"Last night, Jasper told me that Alice explained to him about them being mates, and that it had been the reason why they fell in love at first sight, and that the same applied to us," I said. "What does that mean, exactly?" Of course I knew what 'mate' meant, I wasn't that dumb, but I had the distinct impression that it held a different significance when it came to vampire relationships. And since I couldn't really google that…

Sitting up slowly, Bella hesitated a moment, as if trying to figure out how she would phrase what she'd say next.

I tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear, letting my hand linger on her face. The sheer pleasure of the contact, as insignificant as it might be, was exquisite.

She took my hand in hers and traced each of my fingers absentmindedly before she spoke.

"For my kind, mating is a very powerful thing. When mates find one another, they know instantly. The pull, the attraction, the aching _need_ to be close is completely unavoidable; it's one of the worst kinds of torture, having to spend any time apart from a mate. It's an unbreakable bond, and it's eternal. There is nothing one mate won't do for the other, and that's really based on survival instinct, aside from the undying devotion. The loss of a mate is the most devastating thing one of us could endure. It's not very common, - we're not easily killed - but when that happens, the surviving vampire pretty much dies along with his or her mate; they turn into an empty shell. When you find your mate, everything that is alive in you becomes inextricably linked to your other half. You hurt one, you hurt both," Bella explained, her face looking strained as she spoke.

"Carlisle has heard of vampires that even tried to get themselves destroyed over losing a mate," she continued softly.

An inexplicable jolt of fear rushed through me at these words. Bella ceasing to exist was a thought I couldn't even bear to entertain. She must have noticed the change in my eyes, and gently tapped my nose with the tip of her finger.

"So, Edward, this means you're stuck with me for a very long time," she finished with a wink.

"Oh, the horror," I replied with mock indignation, earning myself a chuckle from her. After a few moments' pause, I added in a morose whisper, staring at my hands, "I really hated it."

"What did you hate?" Bella asked, her voice laden with concern.

"When you kept disappearing for days. I didn't know who you were, or anything about you, even, but every day that you stayed away was… painful. I hated not seeing you," I confessed, slightly abashed.

Bella's face was a mask of regret. "I beg your forgiveness. I didn't like it, either, but it was necessary. I had to stay away for your own safety, but I never left you alone."

I lifted my eyes to meet hers. So I hadn't been hallucinating, she really had been near. "Why did you need to stay away from me, though? And why is that no longer necessary?" I asked. "Not that I'm complaining," I tacked on quickly, in case she got the wrong idea and decided to vanish again.

"The Volturi have been trying to get Alice and me to join their coven for a while now. We declined every time, but they don't easily give up on what they want," Bella said with a grimace. "Eleazar was sent here by Aro a few weeks ago to speak to us again, hoping to convince us this time. He was going to visit us at the apartment, but decided to find us at the school instead. When he went there to find us, he sensed you."

I held up a hand to stop her. "Sensed me?"

Bella nodded slowly. "Eleazar has an interesting talent. He can sense other vampires' abilities, and even some humans, if the latent ability is potent enough," she answered. "That means you'll probably have some powerful skill when you become one of us."

The fact that she said _when_, and not _if_, didn't escape my attention. "Go on," I prompted her.

Bella continued, "Remember that night in the parking lot outside the club? When I made Felix leave you alone?"

I nodded mutely. I remembered that night all too well.

"Eleazar had probably ordered him to retrieve you, so they could take you back with them, change you, and put you to whatever use Eleazar felt you're suited for," Bella said in a small voice. "Because of their interest in you, I had to stay away; neither of us could afford the Volturi becoming aware of our connection, though you weren't even fully aware of it yet. They wouldn't hesitate to use that connection to force us to comply with their wishes."

"But didn't you kind of blow that out of the water when you interfered with Felix?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, he'd just think that I was protecting a random human in the area. My family is known for that; we interact with humans, and we must protect our anonymity with great zeal. We don't allow other vampires to hunt in whatever area we live in; the Volturi knows that, and so that's what it would have looked like to Felix. But it doesn't matter; I'm not staying away anymore. I _can't_."

A wide smile spread over my face at those words. It felt as though a knot was dissolving in my chest at the knowledge of not having to go days at a time without seeing her.

I sat in silence for a few moments, digesting what I'd just heard. "So there aren't many others like you? Vampires that don't drink from humans, I mean."

Bella shook her head sadly. "As far as we know, it's just us, and another coven in Alaska. We're quite close with them; those of us that live differently tend to band together." She must have seen the apprehension on my face, because she quickly added in a solemn tone, "You don't have anything to fear, though. I'd never let anything happen to you."

I believed her. My first instinct that had told me she was dangerous was right; she could end my life with a flick of her fingers if she chose to, but I felt no fear in her presence.

The conversation fell into a comfortable lull. Bella had closed her eyes again and began to hum, letting her head hang back, inviting the sunbeams to dance on her perfect face. The soft melody coming from her reminded me of something.

"Bella, did you break into my car and put a CD on to play _Away From the Sun_?" I was almost certain that she had, but I couldn't fathom why.

She turned to look at me, giving me an embarrassed little smile, and nodded.

The question was out of my lips before I could think to stop it. "Why?"

Bella sighed, a flash of pain passing through her eyes. "It had been a very long week for me," she began. "Alice and I had been refining our plans to approach you and your brother in a way that wouldn't frighten you. You see, I'd been waiting for you for almost thirty years; the wait was finally about to end. The night you first saw me in the club, that was the night I was going to introduce myself to you, but before you could finish your set, Alice called to warn me of what was going to happen in the parking lot. And so, because of that, I had to step back into the shadows and just continue to watch you from a distance, continue to wait," Bella said, and paused. "I was heartbroken," she confessed in a barely audible whisper.

"It was a little juvenile of me, I'll admit," she continued. "I just wanted to tell you, I wanted you to know what you meant to me." Bella was getting slightly agitated as she explained her actions. "I felt like I'd been in the dark for so long, and when the sun finally came out, I had to keep away from it. Having you listen to that song made me feel closer to you, somehow, but I had to be stealthy about it. And the smell of you inside the car…" Bella let her sentence trail off with a dreamy look.

She leaned closer to my ear, causing goose bumps to erupt all over my skin and my heart to beat erratically. Her cool breath wafted around my neck as she sang, ever so softly,

"_And now again I've found myself _

_So far down, away from the sun _

_That shines into the darkest place _

_I'm so far down, away from the sun _

_That shines to light the way for me _

_To find my way back into the arms _

_That care about the ones like me _

_I'm so far down, away from the sun again."_

I quickly wiped my eyes; I guess the brightness of the daylight was making my eyes sting and water. She touched her cheek to mine, and whispered in my ear, "Don't you see, Edward? _You_ are the sun…"

I pulled my head back to look at her face, our noses almost touching. I could try to put into words what I felt in that moment, and what I saw in Bella's caramel-colored eyes, but I would fail. There were no words for the intensity of the love and adoration that burned inside me as I looked at her; I felt like my body would tear in half from the force of it. My brain was in a fog, consumed entirely by the sight of the woman before me. _Bella. My love. My life._

Right now, there were only three words that I was able to force out of my throat. The only words that could convey an infinitesimal part of what I was feeling.

"I love you," I breathed, pressing my lips to hers, hoping they could tell her what was in my heart, the way words could never do.

_####################################################_

Night was falling quickly. Bella and I were walking back to the car, but we weren't even halfway there. It would be completely dark in a few minutes, and I wouldn't be able to see at all where I was going. Try as I might to move as fast as I could, it just wasn't fast enough. Bella seemed to be thinking along the same lines as she eyed the darkening twilight.

"Edward, would you be upset if I were to make this journey a little faster?" She asked me after I tripped for the second time on something I couldn't see.

"But I can't keep up with you," I argued, a stab of panic shooting through me. Was she really going to leave me behind?

"Yes, I'm aware," she deadpanned. "But I didn't mean _you_'d be running," she clarified.

My eyes widened as I thought through the implications of what she just said. _Did she mean what I think she meant?_

"Remember our little jaunt out the window?" She went on with a deliciously wicked grin.

She wanted me to ride on her back? Was she nuts?

Sensing my indecision, she rolled her eyes and came to stand directly in front of me. Bella touched her back to my stomach, and I lost my train of thought, unable to focus on anything else but the feel of her body against mine. _What were we talking about again?_

I yelped in surprise when she bent her knees slightly, circling her arms around my thighs and hoisting me up effortlessly.

"Cross your legs around my waist," she instructed, pulling my arms in front of her, securing my hands tightly in hers in front of her ribcage.

We must have looked utterly ridiculous. I was more than half a foot taller than her; I felt like a grown man riding a tricycle.

"Ready?" Bella asked, and the flicker of excitement in her voice was loud and clear.

I nodded and buried my face in her hair, inhaling deeply. _I don't care how stupid I look right now, I never want to get down._

Bella started jogging lightly, loping with such grace that I barely felt any movement. We weren't going that much faster than before when we were both walking. I pointed out this fact to her.

"Yes, I know, Edward. I was just making sure you're secured in place before I picked up the pace," she snickered. With that, she took off like a shot through the forest, faster than anything I'd ever experienced outside of a plane. Well, this felt much like a plane, if I were to ride outside sitting on the wing. I couldn't make out any of the shapes around me; we were moving too fast for me to see more than just dark blurs.

After the initial momentary shock of getting to such a speed so quickly, I realized I enjoyed this immensely. Bella must have picked up on my euphoria, because she giggled and started jumping and bouncing off trees. Being afraid of falling never crossed my mind; she still had my hands firmly wound in hers, and my legs surrounded her waist with enough room for my feet to latch onto each other. I laughed aloud, unable to contain my excitement.

I'd always been a sucker for a piggyback ride.

* * *

**A/N: My lovebirds were overdue for some quality time! **

**Reviews make me oh so happy, so leave me one ;)  
**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

It was past midnight when Bella dropped me off in front of my apartment building. I went up and headed straight for the fridge, pulling out ingredients for a sandwich. As I munched, I looked for my phone to check for messages. We had rather left in a hurry last night, so I hadn't taken it with me.

The disembodied voice on the line intoned, "_You have twelve new messages."_

Ugh.

"_Edward, where are you? I've been trying to call you and Jasper all day, and neither of you is answering! What is going on? Call me." _ The four previous messages were also from mom, and they were just like this one. I erased them and moved on, deciding to call her tomorrow.

"_Yo, fucker, Emmett here. You coming over tomorrow for rehearsal? You know it's 'Pick Your Poison' night this weekend, and there're a few songs in there we need to go over a couple times. By the way, I heard about Tanya. Is it gonna get weird with James? Let me know about tomorrow."_

I'd forgotten about 'Pick Your Poison' night. One night a month, Valentin puts out a box for the audience to drop in song requests. He then draws out twelve slips, and those make up our set. People always made it a point to show up to those nights, eager to see their picks played live. His comment about James did make me curious; I wondered what he'd heard. In any case, there would be no weirdness in that department. I was so enthralled with Bella that I couldn't even remember there were other women on the planet. _Tanya who?_

I finally got to the last message. _"Edward? It's me. We need to talk. I know we're supposed to be on a break, but it's very immature of you not to pick up the phone when I call you. Call me back." _Oh, _that_ Tanya. I was sure I'd be hearing from her whether I wanted to or not, so I wouldn't be rushing to call her back, that was for damn sure. And what was this 'we're on a break' talk? I thought I'd been very clear that it was a permanent split. As Emmett would delicately put it, _bitch be crazy._

Tossing my phone on a chair, I went into the bathroom as I pulled off my shirt. After a quick shower, I sat on my bed, reliving the past 24 hours in my head. So much had changed in so little time, yet my life felt as if this is how it should have been all along.

Bella's face appeared in my mind's eye, and the overwhelming feelings I had for her earlier today in that heavenly place where she took me returned in full force, warming my entire body. My eyes fell on my guitar, neglected and all but abandoned in a corner of my room. I seldom played it anymore, but suddenly I was itching to strum it. I was on the verge of bursting with all these newfound emotions, and playing something mellow surely would be a good release.

"Hello, old friend," I muttered as I picked up the guitar and settled back on the bed. The instrument felt familiar in my hands; I carried it around everywhere I went during high school. The advantage of it was that I could play it anywhere, not needing an amp to go with it.

I tried on a few chords for size, reacquainting myself with the instrument, when a song started weaving itself through the strings. I'd always felt self-conscious about singing, — that was more Jasper's thing — so the words fell softly from my lips. It was fitting, though.

_Wise men say only fools rush in_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you_

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand, take my whole life, too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you_

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand, take my whole life, too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you _

Good ol' Elvis.

I kept my head bent down over the guitar, wishing I could serenade Bella with this song. _Take my hand, take my whole life, too._

A sudden gust of wind disturbed the otherwise still air in my room.

"You sound a lot better than the original," a velvety voice whispered from the window.

Bella sat on the windowsill, one leg dangling outside, looking completely at ease as if she had been sitting there the entire time. Her long hair fell partially over her face, obscuring it from view, but a sliver of light glinted off her cheek.

It should have shocked me to see her there, but all I could feel was something akin to ecstasy as I hungrily gazed at her, elated that she'd heard the song.

She hopped down from the window and came to sit by me on the bed. I still hadn't said anything; I just basked in the relief of seeing her again. It'd been barely an hour since we parted, but it seemed like a lifetime.

"Sorry to barge in like that," she said with a small smile, now seemingly nervous as my silence continued. "I just missed you."

"My door is always open to you, Bella. Or window, in this case," I assured her with a lighthearted chuckle.

She smiled, too, and gingerly laid her hand against the side of my neck. My eyes drifted shut as I froze with anticipation. I felt her breath chilling my skin as she traced my jaw with a graze of her lips. Bella stalled her progress when she reached the base of my neck, planting a delicate kiss there. It took all my willpower to hold myself in place and not attack her then and there. The torture of the limited contact and the slow, gentle way she touched me was exquisite.

My throat was constricted with the grunts I was choking down; my mouth was watering, my stomach was clenched tight. When Bella removed her lips from my neck, I wanted to cry for the loss.

"It's very late, I should let you get to sleep. I just needed a little taste to hold me over through the night," she said with a mischievous little smirk.

_The woman was trouble. Delicious trouble. _If she thought I'd be able to sleep after _that_, she was out of her mind.

"Um, yeah," I stammered. _Was she really going to leave me… like this?_

Bella pecked me on the lips and headed towards the window. "I'll get to the club with Alice with plenty of time before your set starts. See you tomorrow night, Edward." She waved her fingers at me and slid out of sight.

_Yes, she was._

########################################################

I pulled up in front of Jasper's dorm, reaching for my jacket on the passenger seat as I opened my door. It was already past 10am and we were due at Emmett's in less than thirty minutes. Dammit, I knew it would take me at least that long to just get Jasper out of bed, so we were definitely going to be late.

The car door slammed behind me as I shrugged into my jacket and almost fell over in shock. Not only was Jasper awake, but he was sitting on the front steps, holding his guitar case between his legs. I checked my watch again to make sure it wasn't the middle of the afternoon. _I'll be damned, the son of a bitch is up on his own before noon. _

Okay, Ashton, come on out. I must be on _Punk'd_.

As soon as he spotted me, Jasper picked up his case and jogged over to me, slapping me once on the shoulder and popping the trunk open to stow his guitar. I was still too shocked to speak.

"Bro, you okay over there?" Jasper asked with a hesitant smirk.

"Um, yeah, sorry. How the hell did you drag your ass out of bed on your own so early? Bella and I left last night before you and Alice, and we got in pretty late as it was."

Jasper's face lit up with amusement. "Alice felt bad for getting me in so late, so she showed up this morning to get me out of bed in time to meet up with you."

I just became Alice's biggest fan. Well, second biggest, judging by the fanatic gleam in Jasper's eyes.

"I wanted her to come to rehearsal with us," he continued in a disheartened tone, "but she was adamant about going shopping with Bella. She said we won't be sorry for their being gone all day, whatever that means." He shrugged and got in the car.

When we arrived at Emmett's, James was already there. He gave me a little shit eating grin as I walked in that made me want to ask how he was enjoying my sloppy seconds, but I figured that'd be kind of childish. He had been to Perestroika the night before to pick up the list for 'Pick Your Poison' night. I scanned it quickly and handed it back to Emmett; it was not going to be one of our best nights. Some of the songs were old, but still awesome. Others, however, I wasn't too enthusiastic about. _Careless Whisper?_ Whoever put that in there, I hoped they were expecting the Seether version; Jasper was already going to have too much fun with that as it was.

Emmett was reading the list, absent-mindedly tapping a pen to his lips. "Edward, you'd better play first guitar for _I Remember You_, let Jasper play acoustic for that one, then switch back to the bass for _Slow Ride. _And you're also gonna have to sing the Theory of a Dead Man song, it's too low for Jasper's voice. Let's do that one acoustic with two guitars. Jasper, you're playing harmony with Edward. Let's start with that one,_" _Emmett decided. After a moment's pause, he thought better of it. "We'll do _I'll Remember You_ next, then you can switch back to bass and stick with it for the rest of the night," he said, changing his mind about the order of the songs.

I nodded in agreement, unable to keep the grimace off my face. Every once in a while, there would be a song in the pile that I'd have to sing, a song that required a lower voice. Though I always felt jittery when I had to sing in public, I was looking forward to singing that one, especially with Bella there to listen.

James, however, didn't seem too excited about the idea. "Last time I checked, I was the other guitarist here, not Edward. What the fuck, Emmett? Why is he playing first guitar for that song?" He fumed.

"Because you can't pull off the solo, and since Jasper is singing, playing the acoustic will give him more freedom to focus on that. Now untwist your panties and go set up," Emmett deadpanned, though his expression made it clear that the subject was closed.

Jasper shot me a look that said, _I'm not going near that one._

James stalked off to unpack his gear, visibly pissed off.

This was definitely not going to be one of our best nights.

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**Bella POV**

"Won't we be slightly overdressed wearing this stuff to the club tonight? Perestroika is not exactly the Boom Boom Room," I argued in exasperation as Alice pushed a dress into my hands.

"Who cares? The boys will love it, and that's all that matters. Trust me, you have to wear the Stella tonight. Edward won't even know what hit him," Alice insisted. She did have a point.

I smiled indulgently at her. We had spent the afternoon at Neiman Marcus, after Alice took one look at our overflowing closets and declared we had nothing to wear for tonight. I had very little interest in clothes and shopping in general, but she was quite passionate about fashion, how could I deny her? It had been 90 years since Alice was changed, but I still felt the overwhelming urge to give in to whatever she wanted in an effort to assuage the horrors she went through when she was human. She remembered none of it, but what I saw on her last day as a human still haunted me.

"Bella? Are you listening to me?" Alice said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

I bristled with feigned indignation. "Of course I am. You want me to wear the Stella. What do you say about the silver Jimmy Choo's to go with it?"

Alice perked up at once. "Perfect!" She squealed, and dashed into the closet to retrieve the sky-high strappy stilettos.

The dress Alice picked out for me was truly stunning. It was a Stella McCartney mini-dress of deep blue guipure lace, long sleeved and form-fitting. The lining of the dress matched my skin color, so it looked as though my skin was visible through the lace. I hoped Edward would like it.

"Alice, have you decided on yours?" I asked her, wondering which of the twelve dresses she purchased would be her choice for tonight.

"The leather and lace Valentino," she purred.

I nodded in approval. The sweetheart dress had a leather corset and a lace over silk skirt; it appeared sweet and innocent, but hinted at a wild streak underneath. It had looked gorgeous on Alice when she tried it on at the store.

"And the black knee-high boots?" I presumed.

Alice nodded enthusiastically.

"I guess we are all set then. Shall we get ready?" I said, reaching for my dress.

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**Edward POV**

The place was packed to capacity tonight, and we weren't even going on for another hour. I wasn't surprised, though; it usually was on 'Pick your Poison' nights. I sat at the bar, the beer in front of me all but forgotten. My eyes were glued to the entrance, eager to see Bella come through the doors.

Something cold touched the back of my neck, and warmth spread through me.

"Hey, stranger," Bella whispered behind me. How had I missed her come in? I hadn't looked away from the door for a second. I turned around without rising from the stool, my mouth opened as I was about to ask her just how she had snuck in, but then my eyes fell on her. And I forgot how to speak.

Bella was sheathed in a lacy dress that looked like it had been painted on her body. I pulled her to me and held her close, basking in the contentment of touching her. It still caught me off guard just how empty I felt without her near me. The idea that I already couldn't be without her boggled my mind.

"I've missed you so much." The words tumbled out of my lips; I had meant to ask her how her day had been.

She gazed at me intently, and I could see my own longing reflected in her eyes.

"As I have missed you," she said, never looking away from my face.

Unwilling to wait a second longer, I leaned over and touched my lips to hers. I vaguely wondered if it would always feel like this, as if it were the first time. I might have forgotten where we were momentarily, because as my hands started roaming over Bella's body while I kissed her, I heard someone clear their throat next to me.

Bella broke the kiss, and I turned to find Emmett standing there. "What is it, Em? I'm busy."

"I can see that. Aren't you going to introduce me?" He prompted with a wolfish grin.

"Bella, Emmett, Emmett, Bella. Now, get lost," I recited quickly.

Bella held out her hand to Emmett, which he took in both of his, and kissed it as if this was 1932.

"Hey, stop frenching my girlfriend's hand," I was saying, but stopped myself, suddenly unsure. Bella and I had not yet discussed the actual status of our relationship. Were we officially together? Would she be upset that I referred to her as my girlfriend? What if I were assuming too much, or she didn't want other people to know?

I wasn't left to fret for long. Bella placed a cool hand on the back of my neck, scraping her fingertips there lightly, and whispered to me, "It's all right, Edward." Could she tell what had been troubling me just a second ago? Somehow it felt like she was soothing my unspoken fears, as well as meaning that she wasn't bothered by Emmett making out with her hand. Turning back to him, Bella nodded with a charming, friendly smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Emmett."

"The pleasure is all mine. I've been curious to meet the girl that knocked Masen here on his ass," he boomed with a laugh.

He seemed completely oblivious as I glared at him. "Don't you have to go set up your gear or something?" I said curtly, and took a swig of my beer.

"Relax, Masen. I won't bite," Emmett snickered.

"I might," Bella replied with a mischievous grin.

The sip of beer I had been in the process of swallowing came shooting out my nose as I choked and snorted at her words. In a second, Bella had a napkin in her hand, which she used to dab gently at my face as she laughed softly.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but I couldn't resist it. The look on his face…" Bella said, and lapsed into chuckles again.

My own face broke into a wide smile at the sight of her glee.

Jasper appeared next to me, clapping his free hand to my shoulder. The other was tightly encased in Alice's. "Hey, bro. I already set up our stuff for tonight, so you don't have to worry about it," he said. "Alice helped me," he continued, looking down at the beaming girl next to him with open fascination. It just added to my happiness that my brother had found his true love as I did, and that, though it the whole thing was very unique, — if I were being honest, completely insane — we'd be living through it together. It was oddly comforting to know that I'd always have my brother with me. We've seen each other through all kinds of situations over the years, and it gave me a measure of security to know that I'd always have that. There was just one piece missing; if only Rosalie could be here. As much as I leaned on Jasper, he leaned on me just the same. Rose, however, was the rock, the safe port. Growing up, I could always count on her steer me through murky waters. Right then, I decided I would go to Italy and see her during winter break. I wondered if Bella would want to join me; I'd love for her to meet Rose.

Emmett returned then, James on his heels. He still looked sore about not playing first guitar for one fucking song. _Seriously, are we in second grade or something?_ He needed to get over himself. Emmett, on the other hand, looked positively delighted. "Edward, you didn't tell me you and Jasper were dating sisters! And smoking hot sisters, too," he crowed.

Sisters? We'd never said they were sisters; they didn't even look alike. They had the same pale skin and honey-colored eyes, but their similarities ended there. But now I was wondering about that myself. I didn't _think_ they were sisters; Bella called Esme mother, and referred to her as such, while Alice called her Esme. I realized I didn't really know the actual dynamics of the Cullen family. I made a mental note to ask Bella about it later.

I stuttered some, not knowing what to say to Emmett, when Alice intervened. "So you guys are playing _Careless Whisper_ tonight?" She asked Emmett. "Jasper is so excited to play that song, but I'm not entirely sold on the version by Seether. George Michael was so dreamy singing that song, and I usually prefer the original version of songs, you know?" Alice rattled off at top speed, effectively distracting everyone from the "sisters" comment.

Bella was looking at Alice with an approving smirk, when she suddenly stiffened. It lasted only a fraction of a second before her face relaxed again, but I detected the tension spike by the way the hand that had been caressing the back of my neck stilled and hardened for a brief instant.

"Edward, Jasper, you guys should go get ready," Bella prompted. "You're on in 10 minutes, are you not?"

Emmett looked behind us at that, noting that Valentin was hopping on stage to announce the 10 minute break between shows and that Babylon was up next.

"Again, a pleasure to meet you, Bella, Alice," he said, and walked towards the side of the stage, beckoning us to follow him.

I gave Bella a kiss that I was reluctant to break, so she took it upon herself to pry us apart and shoo'ed me with a giggle. Her face looked off though; the smile didn't reach her eyes. Walking towards the stage, I turned to look at her once more, but she had already vanished from the spot where I left her, along with Alice.

########################################################

**Bella POV**

"She'll be here in two minutes and thirty-seven seconds," Alice muttered when her eyes came back into focus.

"Any idea what she wants?" I asked, as we moved to stand against the very back wall, without losing sight of the stage.

"For now, she just wants to make her presence known as she passes through town so that we don't think she's up to no good. She doesn't want a repeat of last time," Alice answered.

Memories of our last encounter flashed in my mind. Piles of bodies in dark alleys, the newscasts abuzz with reports of unexplained deaths; exsanguinated bodies with minimal external damage. The humans were baffled, at a loss for an explanation for what was happening.

My family, however, had known exactly what was happening. There had been a vampire on the loose in Seattle, hunting indiscriminately. We had a tough time finding the culprit and it took a lot of threats to get her to leave town before our cover was so endangered that we'd have to move ourselves.

Now, she was back. Hopefully, she knew better than to repeat her little rampage this time around.

"Stand beside me, and keep your eyes on the stage, but don't let her notice that you're watching out for any particular humans. I'll deal with her," I instructed. Alice simply nodded and took her position.

The place we chose to wait was empty of humans, who were either at the bar getting drinks, or congregating closer to the stage in expectation of the next show. If we had to leave in haste, we would be able to slip out unnoticed.

Two minutes and thirty seconds passed, and my eyes cut the door. I wanted to follow her every move from the second she entered the building. Tension was stretching my nerves tight; having Edward in any kind of situation that could prove remotely dangerous set my instincts on edge, but I focused on not letting it show on my face. It would be unwise to draw attention to the fact that I was concerned about a specific human.

Alice was doing no better, I could feel the anxiety radiating off of her. She was as worried for Jasper as I was for Edward. "Alice, calm yourself," I hissed with a second to spare before the newcomer was standing before us.

"Bella, Alice," she said with a nod of her head to each of us.

Thankfully, Alice had managed to appear cool and collected, and it was with warmth that I did not feel that I returned the greeting. "Hello, Victoria. How lovely to see you."

########################################################

**Edward POV**

We were on in one minute, and I was frantically searching for Bella before the lights were dimmed, signaling the start of our set. I found her just a few seconds before the club was plunged into semi-darkness. Alice stood slightly behind her while she talked to a red-haired chick. I couldn't see a face, her back was towards the stage. All I could make out was a long mane of fiery red curls.

Valentin was walking onto the stage to announce our set at the same time that I saw Tanya walk in with a couple of her girlfriends in tow. I couldn't help the pang of guilt as I realized she was looking rough. Her strawberry blond hair was not in its usual shiny, smooth curls, but rather limp and scraggly around her face. She had no make up on, nor was she dressed in her customary designer clothes. She looked positively forlorn.

James had seen her enter, too. The look of pure venom he shot me was unmistakable. He thought she looked this ragged because of me, but it was clear on his face that he was upset not because Tanya was hurting, but because he was jealous that she was still hung up on me. How much of an asshole can he possibly be? I hoped Tanya found happiness with someone, but James was definitely not going to be it.

I picked up my guitar and settled on a stool in front of the mic, Jasper taking the stool to my left. The lights came on above us, I counted to three with dull thuds on the guitar's body, and we began playing.

_I remember all the summer days_

_Drinking wine in the sunshine_

_I hope it never leaves_

_And I remember all the summer nights_

_Staring at you in the moonlight_

_I hope you never leave_

_Cause baby you're so good to me_

_You have all that I ever need. _

_It's easy to love you_

_So easy to love you_

_You know it's true_

_The best part of being with you,_

_To know you're with me_

_It's not so hard to say_

_It's easy to love you_

Scanning the audience, my eyes fell on Tanya, who was staring intently at me, mouthing along the words to the song. Awkward. I could feel James's eyes practically boring a hole in the back of my head. I looked away, continuing to sing, looking for the one that made my heart swell with the truth of the lyrics. Bella was still at the back with Alice, the redhead girl standing next to her, looking at the stage with an enraptured expression. It was easier to see her face now, her skin shone pale in the dim lights. It suddenly occurred to me that she was probably one, too… another vampire. Was Bella in any danger? I shook my apprehension before it could fully set in, bringing my mind back to the moment.

A smile broke over my face as I sang the next verses to the only woman that mattered.

_You and me will be together_

_I know our love will last forever_

_You and me will be together_

_I know our love will last forever_

_You know it's true_

_The best part of being with you_

_You're easy to love_

Bella grinned back at me, and I had to remind myself that I had to keep playing. I just wanted to jump off the stage and wrap my arms around her. It was official, I'd become a romantic fool. And I was loving every minute of it.

The song ended and I moved to switch instruments, taking Jasper's stool away as he stepped over to sit on the one I had been occupying. James shot me some extra hateful glares for good measure; we were playing _I Remember You_ next, the Skid Row song. I still didn't get why he was so pissed off about not playing first guitar for a song by a fucking 90's hair band, but whatever, at this point I didn't give a shit. _I guess I wasn't the only one with PMS days,_ I thought darkly.

Jasper brought the house down with his vocal prowess for _I Remember You_, and I had a blast playing _Slow Ride_, and with that, we were in high spirits by the time our set ended. The girl that had been speaking to Bella earlier seemed to have left sometime during our set; she was nowhere to be found. Bella and Alice were waiting for us near the front of the bar, and I couldn't get to my girl fast enough. As soon as I pulled her to me, the dull ache in my chest disappeared; the briefest touch of her skin was like a balm to my Bella-addicted soul.

Emmett strolled over to the bar, followed by a few girls with obvious kinky drummer fantasies. I didn't see where James had run off to, but I was glad he wasn't around. That dude needed to chill the fuck out, and I didn't need him around to sour my mood. Not that he would accomplish that when I had Bella with me, but still.

"You guys were great," Alice was gushing as she hung on to Jasper's arm as if it were a lifeline.

"Thanks," I said. Turning to Bella, I asked her, "Are you ready to leave?" I was anxious to be alone with her.

Her eyes flickered to Alice's for a fraction of a second before she shook her head and said, "Let's stay here a little longer. I'd love to see the next show."

_Lenny? She wanted to watch Lenny's show? What in the hell?_ I was about to open my mouth to argue against it, but the look of sweet expectation on her face silenced me. "Sure, love, whatever you want," I assented with a sigh. I sat down on a stool with my back to the bar, tucking Bella between my legs with her back to my chest, my arms tight over her shoulders. Goosebumps erupted all over my body when her hand came to rest on top of mine, though somehow I doubted they were caused by the coolness of her touch.

Bella turned her neck to feather a kiss on my jaw, and I could resist no longer. My lips met hers, and I devoured them hungrily. I kissed her harder than it was polite for a public place, but I didn't care, and apparently neither did she. I lost myself in the ecstasy of my mouth on hers, surreptitiously running my tongue over her bottom lip. It felt like sucking on a silky, frozen cherry, and the taste and sensation of it were out of this world. It was a very good thing that she was standing in front of me; my shirt wasn't long enough and I needed the cover. But of course, the fact that her body was pressed against the length of mine didn't help matters, either.

The lights dimmed once again, and Bella broke the kiss to face the stage and applaud along with everyone else as Valentin announced Lenny's set. I didn't clap, though. That would require relinquishing the feel of her in my arms and letting go of her was not something I was capable of right now. When the clapping died down, she turned her head once more, but this time, to whisper in my ear, "I love you."

So this is what pure, unadulterated joy felt like. A stupid grin smeared itself on my face, happiness oozing from my every pore.

"Isn't Lenny just great?" I asked Jasper with an enthusiasm that most would think was drug-induced. Jasper just stared at me like I'd lost my mind.

We ended up staying at the club for the entirety of Lenny's show. Babylon usually closed the night, but on Pick Your Poison nights, we always went on before the last act since it's a longer set. It was very late when we finally got to my apartment, but I was far from tired. I had been glued to Bella since I left the stage tonight, and being with her just infused me with energy. I felt like I could jump out the window and fly. Okay, bad analogy.

I tossed my jacket, wallet, and keys on a chair and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. Before I could think of what I was saying, I turned to Bella. "Can I offer you anything?"

She raised her eyebrows in amusement as she answered, "Sure, a pint of O neg would be great. Shaken, not stirred, hold the olive."

"Sorry, we're fresh out," I quipped back, not missing a beat. It was astounding to me that I could already be so cavalier about her realities, and joke with her about drinking blood. That made me speculate about what was it in the blood that made it palatable to vampires. I'd tasted my own blood before the way most people have, you know, sucking on a paper cut, and it tasted kind of gross, metallic and bitter. I was vaguely wondering how it would taste to me once I became one of them when I was jolted out of my reverie by the realization that I was thinking about _human_ blood. Truthfully, that was something I hoped I'd never taste, because in order to do that, I'd have to basically commit murder. I wasn't at all comfortable with that possibility.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she answered from her perch on my bed. Her silvery shoes sat neatly on the floor next to my nightstand.

"Have you ever…" I waffled. How could I ask her if she'd ever killed anyone? I felt like an asshole for asking, but I decided I needed to know. I swallowed my hesitation and plowed on. "Have you ever… slipped? You know, cheated on your diet?" Yeah, talk to girls about their diet, there's an icebreaker. Though I suppose this was a slightly different situation; candy bars weren't sentient beings.

She didn't answer at first, but merely looked at me with her warm caramel eyes that turned sad, and I had my answer. She had slipped before, and she felt like shit about it. My question had brought her shortcoming into stark relief; she was visibly upset. _Good job, Masen, you fucking asshole_.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have asked," I hastened to apologize, sitting next to her on the bed.

"It's all right, you have a right to ask," she whispered in a small voice. "It was a long time ago," she added. "In the beginning, it's very hard to control your impulses, and I put myself in a situation where the temptation became too much." Her eyes were downcast, her face a mask of regret for succumbing to her nature.

I simply sat there, digesting what she'd told me. How did I feel about it? Bella had killed someone, not out of greed, or hatred, but simply because it was her nature to do so. Much like a lion and an antelope, humans were her natural food source. I tried to picture a lion living on cucumbers, and it dawned on me the supreme willpower it must take Bella and the Cullens to resist the sustenance they were designed to consume. From what she'd told me, the vast majority of vampires didn't bother with denying themselves human blood. It didn't make me uncomfortable now to know that she had killed before. I only felt a deep compassion for her, seeing on her face how repentant she was for her slip, and an enormous amount of respect the Cullens for their efforts to preserve human lives. Bella truly was a pure soul.

After a long pause, she asked, "Do I disgust you now?"

The incongruence between her question and how I felt about her in this moment threw me off completely. "What? No! How can you think that?" I pulled her to me, hugging her close, desperate to reassure her. "I could never feel anything other than the utmost adoration for you," I whispered into her hair. "I'm actually in awe of you," I admitted.

Bella pulled out of my embrace to look me in the eyes, as if she had misunderstood me. "Awe?"

I nodded vehemently. "The self-control you and your family have to be able to turn away from the only food that actually appeals to you, I can't even imagine it. I hope…I hope I can have that same strength someday, when I…you know…" It felt good to admit this fear out loud.

She touched my face gently, never taking her eyes off of mine. "You will, Edward. I will help you, we all will. I won't let you fall into the same traps I did. You will not live with regrets, this I promise you," she vowed. I believed her.

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The last few days had been amazing. Bella and I spent every spare moment together, and each day was better than the last. Last night we stayed at her apartment, watching old movies and making out like teenagers. A part of me — and uh, it's a big part, if I may say so myself — was eager to escalate the make out sessions but, for the first time in my life, I was uneasy about moving things forward. Not that I thought Bella would reject me; I just didn't know how to go about it. We haven't talked about this particular aspect of our relationship yet, and I was afraid to fuck things up. Was there anything different about sex with a vampire? Besides, I felt slightly guilty for my indecent thoughts, something else new for me. It was completely irrational, but I had this image of Bella that was just pure, immaculate. I felt like a perv every time I caught myself imagining her naked, but there was no denying that I wanted her desperately. I suspected she knew exactly how much; I had trouble holding back my enthusiasm when she was close to me, if you get my drift.

"Earth to Edward," Jasper called, hitting me in the face with a french fry that he had the courtesy of drenching in ketchup first.

"What the hell?" I yelped, wiping ketchup off my nose. "Bastard, I'll get you," I muttered, promising untold horrors as revenge.

Bella and Alice were in class, and Jasper and I were grabbing a burger at the cafeteria on campus. The girls only had the one class this afternoon, so we decided to wait for them. I had wanted to eat in the meantime so I didn't have to waste time away from Bella later to scavenge dinner.

The little shit laughed heartily at the success of his missile attack, which pissed me off enough to grab an ice cube out of my cup and chuck it at him. It seemed that when left to our own devices, we reverted to our pre-teens.

"Hey!" Jasper complained, wiping the front of his shirt with a greasy napkin that made an even bigger mess of it.

"That'll teach you," I said smugly.

"Jackass," Jasper growled.

"You started it, asshole," I retorted. We were so mature.

Jasper shot me an annoyed look that quickly turned to one of apprehension as he spotted something behind me. "Tanya's here," he whispered with a quick jerk of his head in her direction.

The groan was out of my mouth a second before she was standing next to me. She was going to bitch me out for not calling her back, I just knew it.

Before she could say anything, I began, "Look, Tanya, I'm sorry I didn't return your call, but I've been very busy, and…"

"I don't care," she cut me off abruptly. Looking at me, and then Jasper, she asked, "Have you guys seen James?"

"Broken up already? That was fast," Jasper interjected.

Tanya shook her head, a frantic edge to her movements, but otherwise ignored Jasper's comment. "He's been out of reach for days, hasn't shown up to classes, none of his friends have seen him, nor his parents. His roommate says he hasn't been back since he left for the club last weekend, but all his things are still in his room."

Come to think of it, I hadn't seen James since we got off the stage on Pick Your Poison night.

"I haven't seen him since we played last weekend," I told her.

"I haven't, either," Jasper piped in, suddenly looking concerned.

With a look of barely controlled panic, Tanya whimpered, "I think James is missing."

* * *

**A/N:**

**So sorry for the delay in posting an update. Life just got crazy for a bit there, but I won't go without updating this long again. I hope you like it, and I'd love to hear what you think!  
**

**Thanks for reading ;)  
**


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

**Bella POV**

I usually enjoyed this class. Advanced Biochemistry had become a recent interest of mine, a subject that I felt could help me understand certain aspects of myself. This afternoon, however, I was having trouble focusing on what Professor Barnes was saying. Sure, I was still listening and committing every word to memory, but I found my thoughts wandering back to the puzzle I couldn't seem to solve.

Victoria.

Her reappearance had greatly discomfited Alice and me. It had all seemed benign enough, but the way she had watched the stage while Babylon played was odd. Her eyes kept darting over to James, one of Edward and Jasper's band mates. From what I could gather, he was displeased about some arrangement within the band that seemed supremely unimportant. Humans could be so petty sometimes.

Alice saw that Victoria had decided to leave town and should have done so already, so I thought it best to put her out of my mind. It was a difficult proposition; I still had a strange feeling that something was not right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. As I had no evidence of anything amiss, there was no point in worrying myself ragged over it.

"Bella," Alice whispered, much too low and too fast for any human ears to detect.

I tilted my head in her direction slightly, indicating that I was listening and she should proceed.

"The Volturi have decided. They will arrive in ten days. Eleazar, Demetri, and Jane will come," she murmured.

Eleazar and Demetri I had been expecting. But Jane! This was not good news. Jane was a vicious, sadistic vampire who relished the pain she could inflict with her gift. She was a weapon in the Volturi guard; she had no use other than engage in combat. Perhaps she was joining them solely for protection in case we proved to not be entirely of peace, but her impending arrival still made me defensive.

The class ended, and Alice and I were the first ones out of the room. As soon as we were safely away, I turned to her. "We should go to Forks as soon as possible. We must speak to Carlisle and prepare for their visit. We'll probably need to bring Edward and Jasper with us."

Alice nodded in agreement. Neither of us was comfortable with leaving them behind completely unguarded.

Edward and Jasper arrived then. The look of concern on both their faces set off the nagging feeling I'd been having all day.

I went to Edward readily. "Edward, what is it?"

"Tanya showed up while Jasper and I were eating in the cafeteria. She said she thinks James is missing," he said.

The pieces of the puzzle suddenly clanked together. The way Victoria had been staring at the stage… at James. She had been warned, though. She knew she was not to hunt in within a 500-mile radius of where we were. That left only one option. Victoria had taken James, and it had not been for the purpose of feeding.

Edward seemed oblivious to what might have actually happened to his friend, and I wasn't entirely sure I should enlighten him just yet. Besides, I wasn't absolutely certain of what had happened myself, but I intended to find out.

"I'm sure he'll turn up," I said dismissively. Edward still looked pensive when I changed the subject. "By the way, there is something we must discuss." I took Edward's hand and led him to a bench in the now empty hallway. Alice and Jasper followed, but remained standing.

"We know when the Volturi will return," I began. A hint of anxiety marred his beautiful face, and I hurried on to soothe him. "They are sending three of their guard to speak to us in ten days. It's a small contingent, we don't think it's any cause for alarm." I softly rubbed his forearm, hoping the contact would assuage his unease. "Are you up for going to Forks tonight? I'd like to confer with Carlisle and mother about how to best proceed."

Edward remained silent, as if deep in thought. After a long minute, I prompted him, "Edward?"

He turned to look at me then, a small smile on his lips. "Yes, Bella, of course. We can go."

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**Edward POV**

Would this be it? Would my human life be over in just merely ten days? The thought of that made me panic a little. I knew what I wanted, and that was to be changed, to become like Bella, and to never have to be apart from her, though I wasn't ready yet, I needed a little more time. But these Volturi people seemed hell-bent on making her join them, and now me as well, because of some power that I might possess, whatever that was. I realized then I didn't even know what Bella's and Alice's talents were; all I'd been told was that they had them.

And there was another reason why I wasn't ready. There was still so much I didn't know about vampires, about being one, or even about Bella. There was a part of her that felt closed off to me. As much as she strived for openness, I had a feeling that there was a small piece that she kept shut down on purpose. How could we be together for an eternity when she kept parts of herself from me?

"Drive your car back to your apartment and pack an overnight bag, I'll follow you there. Then we'll just take my car to Forks," Bella was saying as we made our way across campus to where I had parked.

I turned to her to ask about Jasper, but she saw my question coming before I could voice it. "Alice and Jasper are driving separately. I don't have a backseat," she told me with a wink.

As I unlocked the car, Bella grasped my arm so I'd face her. She stood on tiptoes to kiss me, saying she would see me in a few minutes. Her breath blew over my face, the smell of her hair wafted around me, and I momentarily forgot my worries.

I got in my Volvo and maneuvered out of the lot, my mind once again preoccupied. I couldn't be without Bella, so whatever issues there were, the only option was to work past them somehow. Just the mere notion of not having her in my life made me want to scream. But, as I drove towards my apartment, I'd decided I had to get some answers, and this trip seemed like a good opportunity for that.

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We made it to Forks in slightly under an hour. It seemed being a vampire enhanced your reflexes quite a bit; she could drive at insane speeds with perfect precision. It might sound kind of silly, but that was one vampire perk I was looking forward to.

Japer and Alice arrived a couple of hours later. Alice had made the mistake of letting him drive her Porsche on the way here, and it was evident by the look on her face that she regretted that decision. Jasper, oblivious to Alice's impatience, was grinning ear to ear, elated by the experience.

While we waited for Jasper and Alice to arrive, Carlisle and Esme had been sitting in the large living room with Bella and me, chatting about nothing of importance. She asked about my sister, what my parents did, if I had grown up around here, all things I had a feeling she already knew. Her line of questioning reminded me of how I didn't quite understand the Cullen family. Since Esme had been peppering me with questions, I figured she wouldn't mind me asking a couple of my own.

"So, Esme, I was curious," I began. "Are you Bella's… mother? As in, her actual birth mother?"

An indecipherable look crossed her face before I continued, afraid that I had sounded rude. "I was just wondering, because I noticed she calls you 'mother', but she calls Carlisle by his name," I explained.

Esme smiled softly in understanding. She glanced at her husband, then turned to me. "Yes, Edward, I am. Has Bella never told you our family's history?" She asked, giving Bella a reproachful look.

"No, mother," Bella sighed. "I guess we just never got around to it," she said apologetically.

"Well, no better time like the present, then," Esme motioned a hand at Bella, prompting her to begin.

"Why don't you tell it, mother? You can explain better everything that happened before I was changed," Bella countered.

Esme looked thoughtful, as if making a decision. "Very well. I suppose we must start at the beginning," she assented.

And without further ado, she launched into her story. She told me how she'd met Carlisle for the first time when she was sixteen years old. He was the doctor that had treated her when she fell off a tree and broke her leg. They had only met that one time, but the crush she had on him from that first moment on never abated.

Esme had lived in a small town in Wisconsin, born to a poor but hard-working family. She was eighteen, and working at the small flower shop in town when she first met Charles Swan, the newly instated constable. He was handsome, gentle, and attentive, and accepting his request to court her bad been an easy decision. They married and lived a happy, quiet life. Charles was a doting and loving husband, but Esme felt guilty that a part of her heart could never belong to him; that piece was irrevocably bound to Carlisle.

A couple of years after the wedding, Bella was born, and the love Esme had for her child was unlike anything she'd ever felt. Suddenly, her world began and ended with the brown-eyed baby girl that giggled loudly every time someone tickled her feet. Mr. Swan was a wonderful father, and the little Swan family was happy. Esme decided to ignore the hole in her heart left by Carlisle's absence, but the guilt of having these feelings for another man when she was a married woman never truly left her. Esme looked slightly ashamed as she recounted this part of the story, but I'd never judge her for this. I knew all too well that the heart wants what the heart wants.

When Bella was six years old, Esme developed a hacking cough that refused to subside. She brushed it aside, thinking it was just a cold, and it would go away on its own. Not until she had lost ten pounds, burned with fever, and began coughing up blood that she agreed to be taken to the hospital.

Charles dropped Bella off with a neighbor and rushed Esme to the local hospital; she was unconscious by the time they got there.

"I was the doctor on call that night," Carlisle piped in. "Her symptoms were text-book advanced tuberculosis; her lungs were destroyed by the disease. She wouldn't live to see the morning," he said, and the pain in his voice was palpable, even though that grim prognosis never materialized. "It devastated me to see Esme at death's door. I had only seen her once before, but I loved her every single day ever since. I'm sure you understand how that happens," he said to me.

I nodded fervently; I knew exactly how that happened. My throat constricted at the thought of ever having to live through that, to see Bella near death. My mind refused to make sense of the concept, it was too horrible to even imagine. Bella must have been thinking along the same lines; I felt her hand grip mine tighter, her whole body rigid with tension.

Carlisle continued, "I couldn't let her die. So I stole her away in the middle of the night and changed her. I only left her side once in the morning to go to the hospital and break the news of her 'death' to her husband." He paused for a moment, a faraway look on his face. "I had to tell him that she had been cremated as soon as she passed in the night, due to the highly infectious nature of the disease," Carlisle said in a grief-laden tone. "His anguish was heart wrenching to behold," he concluded.

I glanced at Bella, worried about how this whole story being brought back to the surface would affect her. This was her family, after all. She sat next to me, her body rigid and completely still. Her face betrayed no emotion; it was blank, expressionless. It was actually a little scary to see how she was _not_ reacting to anything we were hearing.

Esme picked up the story where Carlisle left off. "I woke up a few days later to Carlisle sitting by me. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, literally," she chuckled lightly. "But when he explained to me what I'd become, what had happened, all I could think of was my Bella. I wanted to go back to her, but of course, I couldn't."

"Carlisle is such a wonderful man… He agreed to my crazy demand," Esme said, looking adoringly at her husband. "I asked that we remain in town and watch over Bella for as long as she lived," she clarified. "And so we did. It wasn't easy at first." She looked a little uncomfortable at this admission. "The thirst is hard to manage as a newborn, and it's usually prudent to stay away from humans for at least a year, but I could not do that. From the moment I woke from my transformation, I worried for my daughter, and that gave me the strength to push back any impulses I might have had that would harm humans."

"We'd lurk around the house watching over her through the night, follow her to school in the morning, I became practically her shadow," Esme said. "I'd go in the house and straighten it out, very subtly, once she and Charlie were out for the day, do little things for them that wouldn't be easily noticed but would help them. I had to continue to take care of them somehow. I never could get over my mothering instincts," she added with a small smile.

"We'd have continued to do this until Bella moved on from this life at a very old age. Carlisle agreed to give me these years to watch over my daughter, but I failed," Esme paused, her voice brittle and low.

In a sudden movement that startled me, Bella was out of the couch and kneeling in front of her mother, taking Esme's hands in her own. "You didn't fail us, mother, there was nothing you could have done," Bella whispered. "You saved me, and now I get to spend eternity with you. You gave me life for a second time," she said, kissing her mother's hands and nuzzling them with her cheek.

At this, my heart started pounding in my chest. So Bella had almost died at one point, and that was why she was a vampire now. _She's all right, don't think about it, don't think about it_, I chanted to myself.

Bella curled up at her mother's feet, laying her head on her lap. Caressing Bella's long hair with a tender touch, Esme looked at me as if she could hear my inner turmoil, and continued the story.

"It was a Sunday, and it had been raining torrentially for a few days. Charlie had taken Bella to church in the morning, just as we'd used to do. I had taken that opportunity to go in the house and tend to the kitchen a little. Bella cooked for her father and herself, but she was not all that inclined to clean up afterwards," Esme chastised fondly.

"I was done with plenty of time before they were due to return, and went back to my position in the woods behind the house. Carlisle and I were going hunting that evening, but I wanted to see Bella and Charlie safely at home for the night before we left. One hour turned to two, then three, and still no sign of them. I could wait no longer, so Carlisle and I retraced the path they took each week to and from church."

"It wasn't hard to track them… there was so much blood," Esme choked. "A tree had fallen in the middle of the road, right around a bend where it would be hard to spot through the sheeting rain," she continued. "It seemed Charlie couldn't swerve in time, hit the tree, and veered off the road, the car rolling down a ravine. He was already gone when we arrived, but Bella was still hanging on, though barely."

Esme looked at Carlisle with imploring eyes, as if they were back on that ravine. He tightened his arms around her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, and whispered something I couldn't hear.

She looked back at me before continuing. "Bella was seventeen, only seventeen years old, I couldn't let my baby die, I couldn't let her go," she whimpered, as if pleading with me to understand her decision. "She was bleeding so much, she only had minutes, so I did the only thing I could do to save her, after having failed to protect her," Esme sobbed. She shed no tears, but her face was the picture of grief.

I felt like a complete shit for having brought this up. I had no idea they'd had such a tragic history, that dredging up these memories would be so upsetting to them, but I could see why they would be. They were alive now, but as something else. In reality, their lives as they once knew had been lost, and though they got to live on in a different incarnation, they still mourned the lives they hadn't chosen to give up.

Bella stood, pulling Esme off the couch with her, and grasped her shoulders, gazing intensely at her mother. "I've never been sorry, mother. You didn't fail me. You made sure I continued on, and gave me a chance to live long enough to find my true love, just as you did," she said with a glance at Carlisle. "I will be forever grateful for what you did for me," she finished softly.

My legs lifted me from the couch and my feet moved of their own accord towards where Esme and Bella stood. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I threw my arms around the woman that had created my Bella, and then saved her life, whispering a heartfelt "Thank you." She was taken aback for a second, but then returned the hug, her body sagging slightly as though suddenly relieved of a burden.

I knew it was irrational. She had not saved Bella for me, it had all happened decades before I was even born, but I couldn't help feeling like this was a personal favor to me. I would probably have lived a good enough life if I had never met Bella, but how I would have missed out! I realized now that I would never have been able to feel for another woman the love I discovered I can feel for her. My complete and irrevocable devotion to Bella consumes my entire being; everything that I am is hers, and for the joy of that alone, I owed Esme more than she'd ever realize.

She patted my back a couple of times before breaking the hug, murmuring, "Thank you, Edward."

"Alice and Jasper are here," Carlisle announced just as the pair came into the house, dispelling the somber mood.

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**Bella POV**

Mother took Jasper and Edward into the kitchen to make them something to eat while Carlisle, Alice, and I settled in the study to discuss the upcoming Volturi visit.

"I don't think it's something we need to be immediately concerned about, though I agree with you, Jane's involvement is reason for extra caution," Carlisle was saying.

"Do you think we should keep the Masens with us, or leave them in Seattle?" I already knew what I wanted to do, but I wanted Carlisle's input. I was certain he would agree with me on that course of action.

"Keep them with us, definitely. The Volturi already know that our family is involved with the boys somehow. The night Felix was nearby and you ran with Edward, that ought to have tipped them off," he deduced.

I berated myself yet again for acting so rashly, but I really could not see another solution to that particular predicament. What else could I have done, let Felix get to Edward? Not an option. But no matter, the Masen brothers were part of our family now, and we would deal with the Volturi as such; a family.

We sat in silence for a minute, each lost in our own thoughts, when Carlisle spoke up, "I think we should go to Alaska, and wait for the Volturi there. Demetri will be part of their group, it won't matter where we are, they will be able to find us effortlessly."

There was definitely something to that idea. The Denali clan lived in Alaska, and was the one other that chose to live the way we Cullens did; they too had come to revere human life and chose to feed on animals instead. Carmen, Irina, and Kate were practically our extended family, close as we were. Having them stand with us would give us an advantage and help provide extra protection for the vulnerable members of our group. I worried the most for Edward; I didn't want him to be changed as an emergency, or a life-saving measure. I wanted him to be ready, and to take that step because he chose it, not because he had been forced.

"That's a great idea, Carlisle," Alice said excitedly. "I'll go call Carmen and let them know to expect us," she announced, leaving the room to place the call.

Once he heard Alice downstairs dialing on her phone, Carlisle began, "Bella, do you think that, under the circumstances, perhaps you should finally start doing what you have been so reluctant to do?"

I knew what he was asking.

"I can't do it, Carlisle," I admitted in a small voice.

"Why not, child?" He asked with apparent tenderness and concern.

"You know why," I interjected.

"Your fears are unfounded, Bella. It won't change who you are," Carlisle countered.

"You can't know that. I don't want to risk it… What I could become…"

"Bella, the time will come, perhaps sooner than we would like, when you will have to stand your ground. They won't give up on you, nor will they let Edward be. We will all stand with you and fight with you to our last breath, of course, but it's unreasonable to limit your chances by refusing to fully develop your abilities," he chided gently. Carlisle abhorred violence, his compassion knowing no parallel in our world. But he was nothing if not pragmatic.

"Carlisle, apart from my shield, which is not all that helpful, my gift can only serve one purpose, and one purpose alone. What will I become if I choose to embrace it? I don't want to lose myself to it…" I whispered.

He laughed heartily at that. "Your shield is not all that helpful? Bella, you can withstand any attacks to your mind, or block any intrusions to your thoughts, without even knowing it's happening. Not even Jane can touch you. I wouldn't call that 'unhelpful'," he disagreed. "And even that is not at its full potential, either. You know you could develop your shield further, learn to extend it, manipulate it," Carlisle prodded. "You could learn to control it enough to utilize it not only as an offensive device, but also to shield others, to use it for protection," he argued.

He was right, of course. Intellectually, I understood and agreed with what he was saying. In practice, however…

The self-shielding part of my gift happened subconsciously; it was not something I had to actively control, it protected my mind automatically and impenetrably. There was another aspect to it, one over which I had very little control, and it scared me to death. I could hone it, master it, make it a more precise weapon.

And that was the crux of the matter. A _weapon_. That was the one reason why I had been so resistant to even acknowledge this side of my gift. I didn't want to possess the ability to destroy, — even more so than I already did just for being a vampire — let alone fine-tune it into sharp precision. I didn't want to become what the Volturi longed to make of me… A weapon. I utilized my gift only once, unknowingly, a horrific experience I wished to never repeat. Once I became aware of what I was capable of, I'd gone above and beyond in my attempts to suppress it, to ignore it.

But fate was not without irony. It seemed as though I was doomed to embrace this part of myself for the sake of survival. My own instinct of self-preservation, strong merely because it was in our nature to ensure our own survival no matter what, was not enough to push me into accepting my ability. The instinct to protect Edward, however, was all consuming, practically a compulsion. Could I risk becoming the one thing I'd vowed never to be, if it meant Edward's safety?

"We'll speak no more of it for now. I'll keep up with my research, of course. Hopefully we'll find something to help you," Carlisle said, interrupting my internal argument. "Let's wait and see what happens in Alaska, and then we can discuss it again." He sensed my anxiety in talking about this, and wisely decided to drop the subject. "Come, let's go join the others," he invited, extending his hand to me.

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**Edward POV**

I woke up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to find myself cocooned in a blanket, Bella's arms draped around me, my head on her chest.

"What time is it?" I croaked.

"Almost 4am. Go back to sleep, my love," she murmured, brushing my hair off my forehead.

As I became aware of where I was, and of Bella's nearness, I was suddenly wide-awake. "I'm not tired anymore," I assured her, licking my lips before touching them to hers.

She returned my kiss with a soft moan that lit me on fire. I freed myself from the blanket and pulled her close to me, kissing her deeply, running my hand up and down the side of her torso. I pressed myself down harder on her, needing to get closer, but it was never close enough. I needed more, I needed all of her.

Her movements were hesitant. I was embracing and kissing her with wild abandon, unafraid to show her just how much I desired her, but she was holding herself back, unwilling to do the same. The sting of rejection made me still my advances.

Bella sat up, pulling me with her, and held my face level with hers. "Edward, what's wrong?"

It was harder than I thought to say this out loud, to admit that the woman that could burn me where I stood with a mere glance might not feel the same way about me. I swallowed hard, and forced myself to speak.

"You don't want me," I stated in defeat.

Her eyes widened at my statement. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"I don't know, it's just… I keep throwing myself at your mercy, and you're always pulling away from me," I answered.

This had her confused. "Pulling away from you? I don't understand," she said.

"Just now, when I touched you, it felt like you were recoiling from me," I explained, my voice heavy with dejection. "I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do."

"Let me see if I understand you correctly," Bella said, not without a hint of annoyance. Crap. "You deemed my reactions vacillating, and concluded that the reason for that is that I don't want you, whatever that might even mean."

"Uhh…" was my very irrefutable response. I apparently sucked at having "the talk." There was hope for me yet!

"You are correct, Edward. I am holding myself back, and being very careful when I touch you, but not for the reason you think," Bella said.

Without another word, she turned to her nightstand and picked up a small crystal ornament shaped like a swan. Its wings were outstretched, as if readying to take flight; it fit neatly in the palm of her hand. Bella nodded her head at the item to make sure that I was watching, and lazily wrapped her fingers around the figurine as she held my gaze. After an expectant pause, she opened her hand. The ornament was gone. All that was left now was a handful of glitter.

"I don't want this to be you," Bella said matter-of-factly as she stood up to throw the sparkly dust out the window.

I don't mind admitting I was little dumbstruck. I felt like a fucking idiot for making assumptions. Of course, I knew she was freakishly strong; she had run at an insane speed with me on her back as if she were carrying nothing heavier than a purse. But aside from when she had to haul me around on her back, I hadn't really seen any other evidence of her inhuman strength, and that made it very easy to forget that Bella could do things to me that I couldn't do to her. Like crush my bones.

Bella sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking uncertain whether she should touch me at all._ Way to screw yourself over on that one, Masen._

I moved closer to her, touching my hand to her face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I understand now. It's just that the possibility that you might not feel for me what I feel for you…"

Bella answered my fears with a greedy kiss. She was still careful as ever, as if calculating her every movement, but I could taste the need on her lips. I knew that taste well; it never left my own mouth.

Bella pressed her lips to mine briefly once more, then broke the kiss to say, "Never think I don't want you, Edward. I have waited my entire existence for you." She touched her cheek to mine, holding my face to hers by the back of my head. Nuzzling me lightly, she whispered, "You are my life now."

I was practically purring like a fat cat after getting a treat, some ear scratching, and a nap in the sun, all at once. However, my contentment was short-lived. I wrapped my fingers around her arm to pull her to me, and was met with the unwavering resistance of her skin. What would our differences mean in terms of intimacy? Would we even be able to have sex? I was suddenly very worried about this. What? I'm a guy, these are matters of great importance to my people.

My brain was going a mile a minute trying to come up with a palatable way of asking the question without sounding like all I wanted was to get in her pants.

I tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear, buying myself time before I blurted out, "Bella, do you think it will be possible for us to, you know…?" _Masen, you smooth motherfucker. _I wanted to slap myself; that had sounded way less stupid in my own head.

Bella fidgeted with the edge of the bed sheets, twirling it in her fingers, and bit her lip. I wanted to untuck her lip from underneath her teeth and lick it, but stopped myself in time. I was a pillar of self-control.

"I don't think it will be possible for us, Edward. Not before you are changed," she said in a small voice.

My stomach plummeted at the thought of having to wait. Not only that, but I wouldn't get to experience sex with Bella as a human, only as something else that I didn't know nor understand. Would it feel the same? Would I be the same?

Bella seemed to have picked up on my deflated spirits. Lifting my chin until my eyes were level with hers, she said with a lascivious little grin, "That doesn't mean we can't do other things."

I perked up at once at those words, pun fucking intended. Bella's mouth was on mine then, her hands on my chest, slowly descending down my stomach, and I almost had a seizure from the surprise of her touch and the overload of sensations her hands elicited.

My fingers knotted in Bella's hair, pulling her head to me so I could smash my mouth against hers. I was so incensed, I was completely losing it. My breath came in ragged pants, my stomach clenched so tight it was almost painful.

Bella fingered the elastic waistband on my pajamas, teasing me; I could feel her lips curling up in a smile against mine. She was about to slide her hand under the fabric, and the anticipation of her touch had me holding my breath.

Knock, knock.

_Are you fucking kidding me!?_

Bella looked startled by the gentle rapping on the door, as if it had been a surprise to her as much as it had to me. She quickly pulled her hand away, tossing the blanket over my hips, and I wanted to roar in frustration. "Come in," she invited.

Alice entered then, smiling broadly, an angelic expression on her face. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Bella didn't answer; she simply gave Alice a death glare that would have had me shaking in my boots. Alice seemed unfazed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't know you were awake," she apologized.

She sounded so sincere I almost believed her. But if Bella had once been able to hear my heartbeat and tell the difference in the patterns to know when I had woken up, I'd be willing to bet Alice — and probably the rest of the Cullens — could hear the racket my heartbeat and my breathing had been making just a minute ago. Shit. I forgot about that. Everyone in this house, apart from Jasper, could hear exactly how much of a horny bastard I was. How could I look Esme in the face now, when she probably heard me mauling her daughter?

Fuck. That was going to be awkward.

"What is it, Alice?" Bella asked impatiently.

"Carlisle sent me to get you. He says he needs to speak with you," Alice replied.

Bella nodded with a heavy sigh as she stood up, sliding her shoes on. She leaned over me to kiss me briefly, promising to be back soon, and slid out of the room.

Alice made to follow Bella. She opened the door, paused, and turned to face me with impish glee. "Oh, and Edward? Esme won't mind," she whispered conspiratorially and left the room, a tinkling laugh echoing in her wake.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Some people sent me PM's asking questions about stuff I seemingly "forgot" to address. All will be revealed in due time, have a little faith. ;)  
**

**I'd love to hear what you guys think of this chapter, so leave me a review. Thanks for reading! =D  
**


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"Dibs on the last slice," Emmett barked, diving for the last slice of pizza in the box. He had already eaten five, but that guy's stomach was a bottomless pit.

I raised my eyebrows at him, and he was quick to defend himself. "What? I'm a growing boy."

I snorted. "Yeah, you're growing all right. Sideways." He knew I meant it as a joke; Emmett might be expanding sideways, but he was pure, solid muscle.

It felt weird not to be rehearsing. It was Thursday afternoon, and though I was at Emmett's just like any other Thursday, this time we were just hanging out. Jasper didn't bother to come over since we wouldn't be playing anyway. Our gigs had been put on hold on account of James's disappearance.

"Any word on James?" I asked.

Emmett shook his head. "Nope. His parents filed a missing person's report, so I guess it's official now." He sagged back on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "Have you been contacted by the police yet?"

"No. Have you?"

"Yeah. Someone came by to ask me some questions, just routine stuff, as far as I could tell. They should be getting in touch with you soon," Emmett informed me.

"Good. I want to help," I said. I just wasn't sure how much help I'd be; it was not like I knew anything about the circumstances of his disappearance. Admittedly, there was something fishy about the whole thing.

If I were being honest, I wasn't all too cut up about James being gone. He was a douchebag and I couldn't say I missed the guy. I did feel bad for his parents, though. He might be an asshole, but he was still their son. I felt sorry for Tanya as well, to some extent, though I really believed she was better off without him.

After Emmett had inhaled the rest of his pizza, he asked me, "Are you going tomorrow night?"

"Going where?"

He kicked me in the leg with a socked foot as if I were playing dumb.

"To the Halloween party at Jessica's. You should bring Bella," Emmett added with a lewd snicker.

I knew what Emmett was getting at with that dirty smirk. Halloween was the official "it's okay to dress like a slut" day for girls, and he was hoping that Bella would subscribe to that notion if I were to take her to that party.

"I hadn't thought about going. I didn't even ask Bella," I lied. Well, the first part was a lie. I wasn't sure how Bella would feel about going to a party, so I'd been hesitant to ask her, but I did want to go with her. We hardly ever went anywhere public as a couple, and I had to admit that I was slightly bothered by that; it felt as if she didn't want to be seen with me.

Emmett reached his leg to kick me again. "Then ask her. I'll call Jasper to see if he's still going. Last week he told me he was," he said, walking into his bedroom to retrieve his phone.

While Emmett called Jasper, I got up from the couch and gathered the empty pizza box and dirty plates to take into the kitchen. Bella was due to pick me up any minute now, and I wanted to be ready to leave when she arrived.

As I slid the last plate into the dishwasher, the doorbell rang. I rushed to the door, but Emmett was closest; Bella was declining Emmett's invitation to come inside at the same time that I said, "Later, Em!" and hurried through the door, shutting it behind me.

On the drive, I summarized what Emmett had told me about James's disappearance. Bella seemed interested in the story, but didn't ask anything further than what I told her, falling silent once I was done.

We were almost to our destination when she broke the silence.

"By the way, Edward, would you be opposed to going to Alaska in a few days?"

"What's in Alaska?" I asked.

"We thought it might be better to meet the Volturi envoys there, in the company of the Denalis," Bella replied. "It would be a mere precaution, nothing more," she added when she saw my sudden unease.

"All right, I guess. What are the dates so I can get tickets?"

She smiled at me, looking relieved. "Not to worry, we'll handle all travel arrangements," Bella assured me.

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**Bella POV**

I looked up from the research I had been working on and saw Edward sitting sideways on the armchair in my study, legs draped over the side, a pen rolling around his lips as his brow furrowed in concentration. He kept running his hand over his hair absent-mindedly as he read, rendering it a veritable mess. I could partially see the line of his back, long and lean, the subtle muscles visible through the t-shirt he wore. The side of his face visible to me threw into greater relief the masculine, defined, jaw line. The sight of him took my breath away. Sometimes I still could not believe that this perfect creature belonged to me; I had never quite been able to appreciate the beauty in humans until I saw Edward.

After I had picked him up from Emmett's, we came back to my apartment to spend the afternoon studying. My constant need to be with him at every available moment had been detracting from his studies, and I felt guilty for that.

The sudden silence that ensued when I stopped typing made Edward lift his eyes to me. When he noticed I had been observing him, he smiled sheepishly.

"Shouldn't you be studying, Miss Cullen?" He asked with humor.

"I have been, Mr. Masen," I replied in the same tone.

I had been studying, indeed; every line of his body, the contours of his face, each of the little hairs on the back of his neck. I had been studying most diligently. The overwhelming desire I felt for him brought back his unimaginable accusation during that night in Forks. How could he possibly think that I did not want him? It had ended up being mostly a case of miscommunication; he assumed my actions towards him to mean something else entirely, and he understood when I explained. But the fact that he could have even entertained the thought of me not wanting him desperately still rankled; this man had become the center of my universe, and yet he had thought otherwise.

The urge to touch him intensified, propelling me out of my seat. Before his heart could beat once, I was standing by his chair, leaning in to kiss him. I had meant to just kiss him briefly, just enough to soothe the burn, but I quickly realized that Edward would have none of that when his books went clattering to the floor as he circled my waist with his arm, pulling me onto his lap. I acquiesced readily; there was no other place I would rather be.

Edward moved his lips from mine, though never taking them off my skin, and traced them on my jaw, up and down my neck. His breath was hot and moist, and it felt like an open flame that burned without pain. My instinct was to tear off his clothes, to consummate carnally the love embedded in my soul, to sink my teeth into his shoulder as he consumed me and mark him as my own. The force of this need had me locking down my muscles, afraid that if I let myself think on it further, I would end up acting on these primal urges.

My sudden stillness did not go unnoticed by Edward. His tongue that had been lapping at my neck was no longer there, the hand that gripped my thigh slackened. I suddenly felt wretched for being what I was, for not being able to love Edward in every way he deserved to be loved, in every way I _needed_ to love him. My dejected thoughts must have been clear on my face.

"Don't worry, Bella," he whispered in my ear, gently appeasing me. "Soon," he promised, fixing my eyes with his grass-green ones. This is one of the things I would miss the most once he became like me; the color of his eyes. The deep, emerald green that brimmed with his unspoken thoughts glittered with reflected light. I would trade the sparkling, warm green though, for the Edward that wouldn't break under my hands, the Edward that could be with me always.

"Soon," I echoed his promise, touching my forehead to his.

########################################

Edward stood at the island in the kitchen, preparing himself a sandwich. Alice and I had come into the habit of stocking up on human food for Jasper and Edward. They came over often, and they had voracious appetites. I never realized humans needed to eat so much.

I sat at the dark wooden table, content to just watch him move about. It was times like these that made the century I've lived slip away, that made me feel like a human teenager. I didn't really remember, but I imagined this is what it must have felt like.

The sound of the elevator stopping on our floor pulled me out of my distracted ogling, and a minute later, Alice entered the kitchen, laden with garment bags, announcing, "Bella, I got our costumes!"

"Costumes? What on earth for?" I asked, puzzled.

Edward was staring at Alice as if he had seen a ghost, holding a knife loaded with mustard halfway between his slice of bread and the mustard jar. I looked between the two of them, suddenly apprehensive.

"For the party, of course," Alice answered, annoyed at my ignorance.

I sighed in exasperation. "What party, Alice?"

"The one Edward is about to invite you to," she replied in an _isn't it obvious_ sort of way.

The baffled look on Edward's face was almost comical, especially with the glob of mustard now hanging from the knife he still held suspended.

"How did you know that?" He asked Alice.

Alice turned to me in utter disbelief. "You haven't told him?"

I simply shook my head. I had never told Edward what Alice's talent was. I had been reluctant to discuss this particular topic, so I continuously avoided mentioning it. I feared that if I told him about Alice's, we would inevitably end up discussing my own, and that was something I would much rather forget even existed.

"Honestly, Bella, do you ever tell Edward anything?" Alice scolded me. I could only glare back at her.

She turned to Edward with a smile, and explained what I had failed to do. "I can sort of see the future, the outcomes of decisions, and whatnot. It's my little party trick. So, when you decided to ask Bella, I had a vision of it, and I hardly need to be a psychic to know she would say yes," Alice finished with a wink.

While she was acting as though she had just shared nothing more shocking than news about the weather, I watched Edward with bated breath. The two seconds he paused before reacting riddled me with anxiety. I was afraid he was about to ask the next logical question on that subject: what about my talent? I knew that if he asked, I would tell him. I could always just tell him about the shield and omit the rest, but that would be tantamount to lying. I rationalized that telling him nothing at all was the more honest approach.

I glanced at Alice, and she knew what had me so tense. Her eyes slipped out of focus for the briefest of moments, then she minutely shook her head, the movement too subtle for Edward's human eyes to notice. I exhaled.

"That's pretty cool, Alice," Edward said, impressed. Turning to me, he continued, "So, Bella, do you want to go? The party is tomorrow night."

He asked me with a beseeching smile; he obviously wished me to say yes. Alice went to stand next to him, bouncing in place, shaking the garment bags at me as if the prospect of a mysterious — and, knowing Alice, probably embarrassing — costume would actually help convince me.

Now that I could relax, knowing that Edward would not ask me about my abilities, — at least for now — I could afford to play with them a little.

"Hmmm… I'm not sure. I don't even know what the costumes are," I said evasively.

"I got costumes for the four of us," Alice trilled. "You're going to love them, Bella, they're _perfect_. Have I ever let you down?" She asked with a petulant little hand on her hip.

"Well, there was that one time, in 1974…" I recalled.

"Bella, you know that was _not_ my fault! And those pants were the height of fashion at the time," Alice hurried to defend herself.

"I'd have liked them better if you hadn't bought the crotch- less version," I deadpanned.

Edward was now happily eating his sandwich, watching our banter with quiet amusement.

"Do you still have those pants?" He asked with a smirk.

Alice answered for me. "No, she made me get rid of them," she sighed with obvious regret.

"Mother laughed at me for two weeks straight when she caught us trying those ridiculous pants on," I countered sternly.

"Damn shame," Edward snorted.

"You're supposed to be on my side here," I pouted.

Edward raised his hands in surrender. "You're right, you're right. I apologize, love."

Trying and supremely failing to pretend to be upset with him, I conceded. "You're forgiven." I turned to Alice then, who was still eyeing me with her hopeful, doe eyes. "I need to see that costume first before I decide," I said, holding out my hand for the bag containing the costume she picked out for me.

In one fluid movement, I unzipped the plastic bag and pulled it off the hanger to reveal the "perfect" costume I was supposed to wear to this party.

I wasn't sure whether Edward's hysterical laughter was due to the shocked look on my face or the costume itself. I narrowed my eyes at him with an ominous reminder. "You haven't seen _your_ costume yet, Mr. Masen. Perhaps that laughter is premature."

Edward looked at me, suddenly fearful; he obviously had not thought of that.

########################################

**Edward POV**

I took a swig of my beer, making the chains that hung from wrists dangle dangerously_._ Every step I took made a clanking noise, which was mercifully drowned by the loud thump-thump-thump of the music. Bella was across the room chatting with Emmett, while the "flavor of the week" at his side looked on, annoyed that Emmett wasn't paying her much attention. Emmett kept leaning in to hear what Bella was saying, though she never mimicked the movement; she could hear him just fine over the noise.

The stab of jealousy was sharp, but once I reminded myself of what Bella looked like tonight, I told myself for the umpteenth time that I couldn't blame others for ignoring everything and everyone in lieu of her. She looked… Fuck.

When she first saw her costume, I couldn't help laughing. The look on her face! For a second I thought she'd throttle Alice on the spot. But now, seeing her in it, I was immensely grateful to Alice. She had gotten Bella a cop costume; if cops had looked like _that_, I'd be breaking the law on purpose. The dark blue short skirt and tight top contrasted with her pale skin, and the black thigh-high boots made her legs look a mile long. Her hair flowed from under the cap that sat slightly off-center on her head, some of it draping over her breasts, partially concealing the shiny silver badge on her chest. Even the holster on her hip that held the fake — but very realistic-looking - gun was sexy as hell.

The time it had taken for me to go get a fresh beer had been long enough; I needed to feel my hand on her skin immediately. As I made my way towards where she stood with Emmett and his date, Jessica stopped me to compliment my costume.

"Ohmygosh, Edward! You look so good! And you've got handcuffs? I bet we could do something with those later," Jessica said in a guttural voice, heavy with lewd intentions. Alice had been very meticulous with my escaped prisoner costume; both my wrists were encased in cuffs, the chain that bound them broken in half.

"I'm sorry, Jess, I'm with someone." I wasted no time in dispelling her illusions. Jessica was a cute girl and all, and her bunny outfit displayed her plentiful assets, but none of that held any interest to me. All this convict wanted was to be taken into custody by Officer Bella Cullen. Mmmm yeah.

"Really? I thought you and Tanya broke up," Jessica wondered.

Bella was excusing herself and making her way to me, having heard the conversation. She planted a kiss on my lips and wrapped an arm around my waist, then turned to smile sweetly at Jessica.

"We did," I confirmed. "This is Bella Cullen," I introduced.

"So nice to meet you," Bella purred, still smiling widely at Jessica.

"Uhh…yeah, you too," Jess replied, taking a couple of steps back from us before turning and walking away quickly. She looked frightened.

"What's her problem?" I mused vaguely.

"I have no idea," Bella replied with obvious disinterest.

I wrapped my arms around her, not really giving a shit about Jessica's behavior, and steered her towards the back wall. I pulled her body flush against mine and touched my lips to hers; the taste of her drove every other thought out of my mind. We swayed in place to the beat of the music, her body moving in perfect synch with mine, our mouths still deliciously connected. It was almost too much to be so close to her when it wasn't nearly close enough.

Something made Bella pull away from me and turn to the wide space in the middle of the room that had been cleared for dancing. "There she goes again," Bella sighed.

I followed Bella's gaze to find Tom Thumb and Thumbelina dancing so enthusiastically that the other people on the dance floor were giving them a wide berth. Alice as Thumbelina was very fitting, but Jasper as Tom Thumb, standing at 6'2" looked absolutely ridiculous, and I was still laughing when they finally made their way to Bella and me a few minutes later.

I flicked Jasper's feathered little red hat with a snicker. "Looking sharp, my brother. And I have to say, your long dancer's legs are looking great in those tights," I laughed.

"I should have known better than to agree to let Alice pick out the costumes," Jasper grumbled.

"As if you could have stopped me," she replied, nudging him playfully.

"Come on, Edward, let's go get a drink. We'll be right back, ladies," Jasper said, putting an arm around my neck and steering us away towards the kitchen.

################################################

**Bella POV**

"Don't they look adorable?" Alice gushed once the boys were out of earshot.

I nodded. "Edward certainly does. But Alice, you put Jasper in tights? That's just plain cruel."

"Nonsense. He looks amazing," she disagreed.

There would be no point arguing with Alice. Her very unique view of the world sometimes made it impossible to reason with her on the simpler things, like stuffing a grown man in red tights and a feathered hat. I should count my blessings and be thankful that she had picked a striped jumpsuit for Edward. It fit his body snugly, outlining his tall, perfect frame, and I felt myself almost warm as I watched the retreating form of this gorgeous man.

I knew someone was approaching us from behind without needing to turn around. The scent was vaguely familiar, though marred by other much stronger odors to the point I could hardly identify its owner. He smelled rancid; a mixture of sweat, hard liquor and some sort of cheese. A second later, this same human had his arm around my neck, breathing his putrid breath in my ear as he grunted, "Hey, Bella, you're looking hot tonight. Wanna dance?"

My first instinct was to grab his arm and tear it out of its socket, but that might give me away, so I was forced to pretend I possessed no more strength than the average 5'5, 100lb human girl. It was a monumental effort.

Picking up his hand and attempting to guide it away from me, I tried to divert his attention. One look at his face, and I recognized the human. "Mike Newton, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he replied with a drunken grin. "You remembered my name." He seemed very pleased by this fact. He had been in one of my classes the previous semester, and we had been assigned to the same group for seminar presentations. I had disliked him then, and I saw no reason for that to change. Now he was downright repulsive.

Alice must have caught the brief murderous look on my face before I controlled my expression; she was alternating between staring at me intently and looking over to the kitchen to see if Edward and Jasper were heading back to us.

Mike Newton's arm found its way back to my neck, and I cringed. I picked up his hand to move it away, yet again, but he was exerting some pressure this time. I quickly calculated that a human girl of my size would not be able to disengage from his grasp, which meant he was set on forcing his attentions on me. The thought of that was not helping me contain my anger.

His arm remained around my neck, because forcing it away from me might raise some eyebrows. Sometimes, acting human meant pretending to be helpless, and that was the part I loathed. Newton was still whispering into my ear, oblivious to my gnashing teeth and clenched jaw. I willed myself to keep my hands at my sides and stay still; the impulse to hurl him through a wall was almost overwhelming.

"I saw you came with Masen," he was saying. "You should ditch that guy and dance with me."

"No, thank you. Now I would appreciate it if you moved your arm. I'm not interested," I retorted dryly.

"Aw, come on, don't be that way," Mike tried to cajole me, one arm low on my waist, another on my arm, trying to steer me to the dance floor. I probably should have pretended to stumble a little, but I held perfectly still.

Edward's scent filled my nostrils right before he pulled Newton off me by the back of his shirt, flipped him and slammed him against the wall, his eyes dark with fury. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He roared in Mike Newton's face.

######################################################

**Edward POV**

"Jasper, what are you mixing over there?" I asked impatiently. I had already grabbed my beer, but Jasper was busy at the sink preparing a green concoction, and it was taking him forever.

"Almost done," he said, pouring a splash of Curacao Blue into the lime green liquid. "There, perfect. Here, taste this," Jasper offered, holding out his glass to me.

The tiny sip I took made me gag. "What the hell is in this shit? It tastes disgusting," I sputtered, trying to rid my tongue of the taste. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

We walked back into the large living room, and I found Bella and Alice to be standing where we left them, but they were not alone. Mike Newton was with them, and he had one arm around Bella's waist, the other trying to coax her into going somewhere with him. _Motherfucker._

I was there in three strides, grabbing fistfuls of his stupid cowboy shirt to pry him off Bella. Shoving him against the wall, my face inches from his, I shouted, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Hey, relax, Masen! We were just talking!" Newton whimpered, squirming in an attempt to break my hold on him.

Bella was standing behind me, whispering, "Let him go, Edward. I'm fine." Her words hardly seemed to reach me through the haze of irrational anger.

"Just talking my ass!" I hissed in his face. I knew all about Newton's reputation — and it wasn't a good one, — so his defense of 'just talking' was as flimsy as the Stetson he was wearing. Before I could think about the consequences, I cocked my fist back and smashed it against his nose with a satisfying crunch.

Jessica was hurrying forward to coddle Newton, a few others were patting me on the back for having done what they've all thought about doing at one time or another. My hand was now hurting like a son of a bitch.

Bella turned to Alice and whispered something too low for me to hear, then grasped my hand and towed me out of the house. "Come on, let's get out of here," she was saying in a clipped voice.

She said nothing else as we got into my car. Bella sat on the driver's seat as I slumped in the passenger side, still panting slightly from the surge of rage and jealousy that came over me when I saw Newton with his hands all over Bella.

"Edward?" Bella broke the silence. "What was that about?"

I turned to her with a disbelieving look. "What do you think that was about? He was practically molesting you!"

Bella's voice was almost a whisper. "Do you think he could have actually hurt me? I didn't tear his hands off because we have to keep up the pretenses, Edward. But if it came down to it, I could have handled it. You did not need to get involved," she chided me, taking my bruised hand in hers.

It took me a moment to recognize the feelings that came over me; I was choking on them. Of course Bella could have handled it herself. I had been a moron to think that she needed my help, or my protection. Wasn't it always the other way around?

"You're right," I whispered, my voice thick with shame. "You didn't need my help, you never do. What am I good for? What do you need me for?" I had never felt more useless than I did right now. I didn't know if it was the beer intensifying what I felt, or if my helplessness really was suffocating me. The embarrassment forced me to look away from Bella.

I felt her cold hand on my cheek, a silent plea for me to look at her. Reluctant as I was to face her, I turned. Bella's face was scrunched with confusion and concern. "Edward," she began, "I don't understand what's wrong. Why should you be upset that I could have handled Newton on my own?"

"I'm not upset about him not being able to hurt you," I clarified in a small voice. "What upsets me is that we're not equals, that there's nothing I can do for you that you can't for yourself, and a hundred times better. You're stronger than me, smarter than me, you've seen everything twice. There's nothing I can give you that you don't already have, nothing I can show you that you haven't already seen. I can't even kick some guy's ass for having his hands all over you because you can do even that better than me." The words were rushing out of me in a torrent of frustration.

A faint whisper in my head was telling me that I was being childish and maybe even a little petty, but I couldn't help it. Sometimes I felt like less of a man because Bella didn't need me to be one. Maybe it was the cave man in me, but I felt the need to protect her, to be strong for her.

Bella took a minute to digest my words. I'd give anything to know what was going through her mind. Did she think less of me now that she knew I could be just as primitive as any other guy? I was suddenly regretting my outburst.

"It won't always be like this," she finally said. "But I do understand your need to protect me. I understand it because I feel the same way about you. I suppose I'm just used to always thinking of you being the one in need of protection."

My face fell at her words. They made me feel even smaller somehow.

"Do not overthink this, Edward. It is only your humanity and the threat that the proximity to my world poses to it that compel me to be on guard whenever you are concerned. It has no bearing on who you are, or what you are to me," Bella said firmly. "You are the most important thing in my world, Edward. Never doubt that," she whispered softly. "And I do wish you had not interfered. Though it was extremely enjoyable to see Newton on his back with a broken nose, I hate to see you hurt in anyway." Bella lifted my hand to her lips and gently kissed the bruised knuckles.

A small part of me still wanted to doubt her, but the conviction of her words wouldn't let me.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just being an idiot tonight," I admitted with an awkward laughter.

"You are just being human," Bella agreed, chuckling along with me.

* * *

**A/N: Thoughts? I'd love to hear them, so hit that little review button! Thanks for reading ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

**Edward POV**

The weak rays of sunlight that streamed through the partially open shade glinted mutedly off Bella's face. In the early morning sky, the clouds still obscured most of the sun, promising an overcast day. I had always enjoyed the window seat when flying anywhere; the empty sky looked so peaceful and quiet to me. I felt all the more content as I tightened my fingers around Bella's hand, which had been encased in mine since takeoff.

The Cullens' plane was nothing short of luxurious. Bella and Carlisle snickered with amusement at my slack-jawed appreciation of the aircraft, while Jasper was asking Alice all sorts of questions about it and trying to talk her into letting him fly the plane, just for a little bit.

"Jasper, you can barely steer a shopping cart. How about you crash a plane _after_ we're indestructible?" I suggested. Jasper has always had a thing for planes—he was always that annoying little kid on the plane that wouldn't shut the hell up until the pilot let him take a peek inside the cockpit—but that didn't mean he could fly one.

He sulked up the steps onto the plane, and Alice sidled up next to me, whispering, "Don't worry, I'll lock the instruments before I let him take the seat for a bit. And Carlisle will be the one actually flying the plane." She held a finger to her lips and winked, then skipped after Jasper. It must be a mate thing, being unable to deny the other anything. If Jasper wanted to fly a plane, she was going to let him, even if it was just pretend. I could understand the impulse to do whatever it took to make your beloved happy. I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to put a smile on Bella's face.

The three-hour flight was uneventful, and we landed in Anchorage by mid-morning. Two black Land Rover SUVs fitted with wide snow tires awaited inside the hangar. Esme and Carlisle settled into the first one, while Bella, Alice, Jasper and I took the second one. I was having a little trouble figuring out where to put the acoustic guitars Jasper and I brought. We only had one duffel bag each apart from the instruments, but a set of seven matching suitcases occupied most of the space, squishing a lone, smaller suitcase beneath their weight.

Bella walked around the back of the SUV to see what was taking me so long. She took one look at the overflowing trunk, shaking her head in dismay, and grabbed both guitars to stow in the other SUV.

"Alice, you had mother bring you three more suitcases from the Fork's house? Why would you need seven suitcases of clothes? For goodness sake, we're not moving here!" Bella snapped at Alice, who was already settled in the backseat with Jasper.

"I'll have you know, they're all basic necessities, Bella," Alice countered indignantly.

"Sneaky little imp," Bella muttered under her breath as she took the seat at the wheel. I settled in the front, next to her.

"How long a drive are we looking at?" I asked.

"About three hours," she replied as she started the engine and pulled out of the hangar.

For most of the drive, Alice and Jasper chatted animatedly in the back seat. As much as I wanted to appreciate the beauty of the snow-covered sights around us, it was impossible to ignore the anxiety that Bella was trying very hard to hide. I knew this visit from the vampire version of the mafia was weighing heavily on her, even though she acted as though it was of no consequence.

I reached for her hand, giving it a brief squeeze. "It'll be okay." I wanted to say more to reassure her, but I was really out of my depth here, so I settled for a generic 'it'll be okay.' Edward Masen, lameness incarnate, at your service.

Bella rewarded me with a small smile, and her shoulders relaxed a little. It struck me how odd it was that I'd be the one reassuring Bella. I should be more nervous about the upcoming event; it was all pretty much still unknown to me, and the uncertainty of the situation should have me afraid. Maybe that was the very reason why I wasn't afraid, I didn't even know exactly what to be afraid of. In the end, it didn't really matter. Whatever happened, Bella and I would make it through.

We went off the road and drove on a winding path through the Alaskan wilderness for over an hour before arriving at a sprawling wooden cabin. It stood in stark contrast against the pristine, glistening snow that covered everything around it.

Three vampires stood on the porch, way underdressed for the weather. I was almost frozen to the bone despite wearing full body thermal underwear underneath two sweaters and a heavy jacket, but the cold air that most likely seeped through their thin shirts didn't seem to bother them. Two of them had straight, white-blonde hair and the pale complexion I'd come to expect from vampires. The third one, however, looked startlingly different. Long, black curls framed her face, and there was an olive sheen to her skin beneath the pallor; it softened her expression.

Bella cut the engine and shot out of the car, Alice right behind her. Jasper and I looked at each other, not sure whether we should wait in the car or follow them. I watched Bella wrap her arms around one of the two blondes, hugging her tight and swaying in place.

Carlisle and Esme were already at their side, greeting the dark-haired woman. Only then did Bella seem to realize Jasper and I were still in the car because she turned around as if looking for us. She waved at us in invitation to join them, so we did.

Bella took my hand when I came to stand beside her, and made the introductions.

"Edward, meet Kate," she said, indicating the blonde she had hugged first, "Irina, and Carmen." I shook their hands as Bella waved a hand towards me, "Cousins, this is my Edward."

Were all vampires this unnaturally beautiful? Of course I thought Bella was the most beautiful woman to ever walk to earth, but I might be a little biased. Her cousins, though, I could evaluate without the cloud of overpowering, all-consuming attraction, and they're all knock-outs. I was suddenly reminded of Emmett, and how much he'd love to meet them; Emmett loved blondes.

"It's great to finally meet you, Edward," Kate was saying. Turning to Bella, she whispered, "Came over to the dark side, did you?" She shot Bella a knowing look, and Bella looked as though she wished for the ground to open under her feet and swallow her whole.

Irina and Carmen had shaken hands with Jasper and now stood in front of me. Irina shook my hand, but Carmen surprised me by pulling me into a hug. There was something about her that reminded me of my mother, a gentle demeanor and a subdued sadness in every gesture. It made me homesick. As it seemed like no one was in any great hurry to get inside, she grasped my hand and pulled me behind her, reaching for Jasper as she towed us towards the house.

"Let's get you boys out of the cold," she said with a smile.

The large living room felt warm and inviting. A roaring fire danced in the fireplace, and Jasper and I ran to stand in front of it, holding our hands out towards the heat. I was used to cold weather, but this was fucking ridiculous.

While Jasper and I stood as close to the fire as it was possible without catching on fire ourselves, everyone else had settled on the couches scattered in a circle facing the mantel. Feeling warm enough, I went to sit by Bella. Grasping my hand, she kissed me lightly, but I was too self-conscious to return it. I glanced around the room to find the three Alaskan vampires openly staring, their eyes darting between Jasper and me.

**Bella POV**

"So, when are we to expect our guests to arrive?" Carmen asked.

I silently thanked her for breaking the ice; Kate and Irina were looking at Edward as if they had never seen a human before, and he was uncomfortable under their scrutinizing gaze. It was very rich of them to be acting so surprised to meet my human mate, considering the immensely long list of human lovers they'd amassed over the centuries. It was in fact their predilection for human partners that led them to abstain from their blood.

Alice was the one to address Carmen's query. "The day after tomorrow, early morning," Alice said, a mischievous glint in her eye. It was too subtle for anyone else to notice, but I did. Something was up.

Kate and Carmen nodded, but Irina's face turned to cold steel. I had anticipated she wouldn't be all too amenable to standing with us during the Volturi's visit, and she didn't disappoint.

"Remind me why we're getting ourselves in trouble with the Volturi over a couple of humans." While Kate and Carmen had immediately agreed to be with us for the Volturi's visit when Alice called requesting their aid, Irina was not so sanguine.

"No one is getting in trouble," Carlisle answered. "And it's not simply 'over a couple of humans,'" he corrected her. "They are coming to try to convince Bella and Alice to join them, yet again. They will decline, as they have before, but we have no plans to defy the Volturi."

"You've broken the rules. You've told humans about us, what we are. Do you think the Volturi will overlook that?" Irina was clearly afraid of how our perceived breach would affect her family. While I understood it, I had little patience for it. They had no part in our rule-breaking, as she put it, and therefore would not be liable. But, more importantly, my family would have supported hers through a similar situation without batting an eye, and she knew that.

Before I could tell her exactly what I thought of her selfishness, Kate intervened. "Irina, there isn't any danger. They will be changed soon enough, won't they, Bella?"

"Yes, they will. But not before we settle the matter of the Volturi's relentless pursuit," I said. Kate looked apologetic for her sister's behavior, but Irina did not seem convinced.

"And what about…" Irina began, but Kate abruptly cut her off.

"Enough, Irina. They are our family, and we will stand by them, as they have stood by us before. You'd do well to remember that." Kate's tone left no room for questioning. It was not often that she asserted her position as the leader of her coven, but she was certainly speaking as such now.

A tense, uncomfortable silence followed. Irina stood and, with a disgruntled huff, headed outside at a sprint.

Carmen was untroubled by Irina's outburst; she was used to her sister's difficult personality. "Come, let's get the luggage upstairs. Bella, Alice, we'll put your things in your usual rooms," she said, waving at mother and Carlisle to help her.

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Alice and I sat with Jasper and Edward in the kitchen as they ate the food mother had the foresight to bring along. Irina was still out sulking, and the others had gone looking for her in the hopes of assuaging her fears, leaving the four of us in the house. Edward was unusually quiet as he ate; never a good sign.

Jasper finished his meal, and Alice led him upstairs to unpack. She knew I wanted to speak to Edward, and it would be easier without an open audience.

As I struggled to find the right way to start this conversation, Edward spoke first. "Should we have come here?" He tried to sound casual, but his face betrayed his unease.

Irina's less than warm reception had made him feel unwelcome, as if he were imposing. It was lucky that she had left and not yet returned. Lucky for her, that is. I had half a mind to relieve her of a limb or two for making Edward feel this way.

"Never mind her, Edward. Irina has always been…difficult. It has nothing to do with you." I hoped he would see the sincerity of my words and feel better for it. It was true that Irina has always been the less agreeable of the Denali sisters; under normal circumstances, she'd be batting her eyelashes at Edward, but her fear rendered her intractable.

He swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes downcast. It broke my heart to see him this upset. There was a helplessness in the way his shoulders slumped that tore at me. I hurried to his side, wrapping my arms around him, and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Kate and Carmen were very happy to finally meet you, especially Kate. I might have talked to her about you once or twice," I said, hoping to distract him.

It seemed to partially work. Edward still looked forlorn, but the ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Is that right? And what did you say?"

Brushing my lips against his ear, I whispered, "I told her I had found the love of my existence."

His skin erupted in goose bumps, eliciting a shiver of my own. Edward's response was silent, yet eloquent; his mouth on mine told me agreed with my statement, and when his tongue ran over my bottom lip, I could have sworn I almost felt my heart beat.

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"Dammit, Jasper, you're going to make us lose!" Edward huffed as he thumped Jasper's shoulder with his fist.

From my perch on the couch nearest the fireplace, I quietly observed my family as they enjoyed the evening.

Edward and Jasper were tag-teaming Carlisle on a game of chess. From what I could see, Edward would be doing better on his own; for some reason, he had the uncanny ability to predict almost every move Carlisle made. Jasper had little patience for the slow-paced game, and it showed in the reckless play he had made, which cost them a knight.

Esme, Alice, and Carmen were deep in discussion over Christmas planning. They were in talks of flying to New York for their shopping, and my mind went into overdrive with excuses to get out of it. As I plotted my way out of this shopping expedition, Alice turned around and stuck her tongue out at me. I grinned.

I allowed myself a small measure of peace as I watched my family. Listening to their quiet talk and laughter, it further cemented my conviction that this is where I belonged, not in Italy, and I was right in turning down the Volturi again and again. My contentment was short lived as an image of dark cloaks and crimson irises invaded my mind. It seemed the more I wanted nothing to do with them, the more determined they were to have me.

A faint knock on the window caught my eye. Kate stood outside, waving at me to join her. It was an invitation to hunt, but more than that, I knew she wanted to talk to me away from everyone else.

I walked over to Edward and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I'm going for a quick hunt with Kate, I won't be long." He grunted a response to let me know he heard me without taking his eyes off the board. Given the way his brow was furrowed in intense concentration, Edward was taking this game very seriously. Who knew he could be so fiercely competitive? I planted a soft kiss on the side of his neck and went outside.

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"Kate, are you sure you want to go hunting in that dress?" She was wearing a filmy, flowy sundress that was sure to get snagged and torn during a run through the dense forests around her home. Not even Alice would go hunting in such garments, and she was the epitome of "style-over-practicality."

Kate simply shrugged, unconcerned by the fate of her clothes. "Shall we?" And with a quick grin, she was off running.

I had always enjoyed spending time here. The air was crisp and pure, and the snow was soothing on my skin. What I liked the most about this place was the silence. It was the kind of quiet that pressed down on your eardrums, a silence you could almost touch if you reached out your hand. It felt easier to simply exist in this near-absence of sound.

Kate tracked a herd of bull moose to the east and took off after the scent; I followed at a slower pace. When I reached her, she was already draining the second one. The herd had scattered in terror, but I easily caught up with a large buck and took it down effortlessly.

We fed in companionable silence until we were both sated, then headed for our favorite spot, a steep, eroded mountainside that humans could never climb. It was high enough that the snow never melted up there, and tonight was no different. We did not need to speak to agree on our destination; this was something we did together every time I visited.

Apart from Alice, and of course, my mother, Kate was my closest friend. I was very fond of Irina and Carmen as well, but Kate and I shared a deeper bond, a bond that I felt had been strengthened now that we had yet one more thing in common.

My situation was not quite the same as hers. I had not gone looking for a random human for a casual relationship; I had found my mate, the missing part of myself, and he just happened to be a human. But still, Kate would understand the complications of such a relationship.

As we climbed the side of the mountain, she looked pensive, and I was certain she was going to ask me about Edward.

I was right.

We had been sitting in silence for a few minutes, admiring the dark blue vastness of the scenery. The moon was not visible tonight, the thick cloud cover turning the ground into a mirror of the midnight sky. I had been tracing patterns on the snow at my feet when Kate turned to me with an impish grin.

"So, aren't they fabulous?" Kate decided it was time to break the silence.

"They?"

"Human men," she clarified.

"I wouldn't know, Kate. Edward is the first one. And the last."

She raised an incredulous eyebrow at me.

"Edward means something different to me than what your human companions mean to you." My tone was thick with implications.

"Oh, I know. The way you look at him, it's nauseating," she laughed. "And the way he looks at you. Almost…protective. It's endearing, really," Kate sighed. "I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous."

I looked at her in confusion. "Jealous of what?"

She sighed again, a wistful look in her eyes. "I've been around for over a thousand years, and I have yet to find my mate. But I'm happy for you, Bella. I truly am." She grasped my hand and squeezed it softly, smiling at me in reassurance.

I returned the smile, unable to keep the glowing warmth from spreading through my body every time I thought of Edward. "Thank you, Kate. And, on that note, what's going on with Irina? I didn't think she would be thrilled to have us here, but she was outright antagonistic. It made Edward feel unwelcome, and it upset him." The last few words came out in a snarl as I remembered how uncomfortable he looked at her frigid reception.

"You know how she is, Bella. It has been over four hundred years, but what happened to our mother at the hands of the Volturi is still very fresh in her mind. She lashed out because she's afraid." I knew that had probably been the reason why Irina had acted that way, but my priorities were permanently and forever changed, with Edward sitting at the very top. His peace of mind eclipsed everything else, and so it took me great effort to sympathize with Irina when she had been a source of discomfort for Edward.

Kate went on. "And so are we, for that matter, but that is irrelevant. You are our family, and we protect one another. Besides, it's not like this will turn into a confrontation. They're just coming to talk, right?" She looked to me with the barest hint of apprehension in her eyes, as if seeking confirmation that she truly had nothing to worry about.

"As far as we know, yes. We have no reason to believe they won't be peaceful. We wanted to have our families together for their visit not for our own protection, but perhaps to deter them from getting any ideas of harming Jasper and Edward," I elaborated. "You know their opinion of humans; while they would never seek to harm one of our kind without provocation, the same courtesy is not extended to them. To the Volturi, humans are little more than food. But, in this case, it's a little more complicated. Eleazar came close enough to Edward when he was in Seattle last time to speak to Alice and me, and now the Volturi want him."

Kate nodded in understanding. She knew of Eleazar's ability and his place in the Volturi hierarchy. He was their diplomatic envoy and talent scout, so to speak. "Did he say what Edward's gift might be?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. But it must be powerful enough, if he can sense it while Edward is still human."

"Speaking of gifts…" Kate began.

I stiffened. I had a feeling I was not going to like the direction she was steering the conversation. Kate noticed my distress, but she was not one to be deterred by it. Skirting an issue was simply not in her nature; if she had something to say about it, she would.

"Carlisle told me you have been unwilling to develop yours. Care to tell me why?" She asked bluntly.

"You already know why," I snapped in irritation.

"Yes, I do. But don't you think that things have changed, and perhaps you should learn to control it? Imagine if you could extend your shield, what that would mean for protection. Not to mention its offensive properties. Being able to do what you do from a distance?" She prodded.

I could extend my shield, but it required that I touch the subject I wanted to envelop. If the contact broke, the shield would snap back. It seemed it refused to extend beyond me, but it would allow me to stretch it to encase whomever I touched, as if the target of my protection became an extension of myself, though that was not all that my shield was capable of. If I so chose, there was something else that I could use to affect whoever came under my cover, but that was not meant for those I wanted to protect. No, that particular property of my shield had only one result… The thought of being able to do such damage from a distance terrified me, not only for the damage itself, but also because my command of it was haphazard at best. I still didn't fully understood how it worked, and that made it harder for me to entirely control its use.

"It scares me, Kate." It was easy to voice this in her presence; it was nothing she had never heard before. We discussed it a long time ago when she was telling me about her gift, and how she learned to project it. Kate could run an electric current over her skin with full control over its intensity; it had the power to put a vampire out of commission for several seconds. I've heard it's quite unpleasant, but I wouldn't personally know; she could never affect me with her gift, much to her chagrin.

"Bella, it's time you stop hiding from yourself and take responsibility for your gift and for that human you ended up putting in the path of the Volturi. Enough is enough," Kate ranted. "Your abilities aren't going anywhere, and pretending they don't exist will serve no good purpose. Stop being a coward."

My eyes snapped to Kate's face. No one has ever admonished me so openly about the course of action—or lack thereof—I chose to take in regards to my gift. I continued to glare at her, and she stared back, completely unfazed.

"Your family coddles you too much. You need a good kick in the pants every now and then," she added.

"It's my business, Kate." The growl was pronounced in my tone as I spat my retort. Everyone kept pushing me towards embracing my gift in all its destructive glory, but Kate was certainly the most freely outspoken of them all.

"And you also think that if you never develop it, the Volturi will lose interest?" Kate asked with a snort.

Though I had never said that part out loud, it had definitely crossed my mind. I shrugged.

"If you're hoping for that to happen, you should give up here and now. They won't let you go off skipping into the sunset, much less with an equally talented mate at your side." Apparently, Kate was set on not allowing me the comfort of my denial.

"I didn't _really_ believe that would be a possibility. But I did hope," I admitted.

"You know I'll help you, right? All you need to do is ask."

I smiled at her serious expression. "I know, Kate. Thank you." I turned my gaze back to the blanket of snow below us before I continued. "I'll make a decision after this visit, once I know for certain what I am dealing with."

Kate fell silent after that, and it seemed she would let it go for now, but I knew I hadn't heard the last of it.

"Perhaps we should head back?" I suggested.

"Missing your lover boy?" She asked in a lascivious tone.

I didn't need to say anything; the longing I knew to be stamped on my face was answer enough.

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It was very late by the time Kate and I returned to the cabin, and our human guests were fast asleep. I went directly upstairs and silently crept into the room Edward and I shared; I didn't want to disturb him, but I just had to see him, if only for a minute. My heart swelled in contentment as I watched him dream for a few moments. His face was relaxed in slumber, and his lips curled in a faint smile when I grazed his forehead with my fingertips. I tucked the blankets tighter around him and went over to the fireplace to add another log. I'd learned my lesson after Edward spent the night in the Forks house for the first time; humans were very sensitive to the cold.

Alice was waiting for me in the living room. "Where are mother and Carlisle?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

"They went for a nighttime stroll," Alice said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I knew precisely what those "strolls" involved. "Say no more."

We sat quietly for a moment, but the mischief on her face as she told me where mother and Carlisle went reminded me of something I saw in her expression earlier.

"Alice, when Carmen asked you when to expect the Volturi, did you see something?" Earlier when we arrived and Carmen inquired about the Volturi's impending arrival, Alice had that look of someone who just got the news that there would be two Christmases that year.

She pulled a disgruntled face before sticking her tongue out at me and smiling. "Yes, I might have."

So we're playing that game. It's the one where I try to get something out of Alice and she evades me for eight hours straight until she gets fed up with my questioning and gives up.

"What did you see?" And here we go.

She grinned widely at me, the same kind of ecstatic grin that graces her face whenever she finds an article of clothing that she "simply can't live without." I was immediately suspicious.

"And you can stop right now, Bella. I don't want to ruin the surprise!" She leaned over to kiss my cheek and skipped upstairs to watch her Jasper sleep.

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The sun rose to find my mother christening the Denalis' kitchen. They had no utensils or food, since they didn't interact with humans enough to need to keep up appearances, but mother had prepared for that scenario and brought whatever she needed with us. She hummed happily as she prepared breakfast, and too much of it, as usual. Having more 'children' to look after was her idea of heaven, especially ones that required such level of care. I hadn't needed the daily tending a mother provided in a long time, and the days when Alice required extra attention in her first year as a newborn were long behind us. Two humans that needed such careful nurturing were the answer to my mother's prayers, and she stopped at nothing to pamper them.

"Esme, I'm finished with the oranges." Carmen tossed a nearly disintegrated half of an orange into the trashcan and turned to my mother, making a disgusted face at the frying bacon. She probably hated the smell of it as much as we all did, though you'd never think mother had a problem with it; the smile on her face was wide and genuine.

"Lovely. Thank you, Carmen. Just leave it on the table."

"Good morning, mother, Carmen," I said, taking a seat.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Would you be a dear and start buttering the toast?" Mother didn't look away from the stove as she issued her orders. "Carmen, please pass me that carton of eggs."

Carmen threw me a martyred look before passing mother the eggs, and it was all I could do not to laugh.

I began working through the tall stack of toast when I realized someone was missing. "Has Alice come down yet?"

Carmen answered me, thoughtful for a moment. "No, she came down earlier saying she had to run an errand before the boys were done with breakfast. She didn't say where she was going."

Edward and Jasper appeared just as the eggs were being plated, and wasted no time digging in. They made some very indecent noises as they ate, and we paid them no mind, except for Carmen. We were used to their moans of pleasure every time they ate my mother's cooking, but Carmen was staring at them with a confused expression.

The kitchen was quiet while they devoured their breakfast, save for their appreciative groaning; too quiet for Jasper's taste.

"Esme, if you keep feeding me like this, I think I'll just choose to stay human," Jasper said as he stuffed his mouth again to the point of exploding.

Edward choked on the sip of orange juice he'd just taken, spluttering the yellowish liquid all over the table. Jasper smacked him in the back as Edward coughed, trying to reopen his airways.

"Dude, what the hell?" Edward glared as Jasper shrugged at him, completely clueless. I could see why he was such a perfect match for Alice; they both operated somewhat outside the boundaries of normal.

Turning to mother and Carmen, who had their hands covering what I knew to be big, amused grins, Edward said, "I'm sorry, Esme. Jasper was raised in a barn, he doesn't know any better."

Carmen lost it, the laughter bursting out of her. "I see what you mean, Esme."

Mother didn't reply; she just smiled fondly at her newest children.

When they were done eating, Jasper went looking for Alice, and I took Edward's hand, leading him out of the kitchen.

"What would you like to do today?" There wasn't much to do around here, or many places to go, perhaps the hot springs. I'd love to show Edward my favorite mountaintop, but I feared it would be unbearably cold for him up there.

He thought it over. "How about a walk? I need to work off some of that breakfast. Besides, I wouldn't mind being alone with you."

I had been ready to protest against this outing, but the last thing he said convinced me. "Whatever you wish. Go get dressed, and don't forget your thermals. I'll be waiting outside."

"I'll be right back, beautiful." He brought his lips to mine softly, barely touching, before he turned and ran upstairs. The ghost of his kiss remained with me, making me forget what I was supposed to be doing.

I regained my composure and walked through the living room towards the porch. Spotting a thick black scarf—I recognized it to be Alice's—draped over the back of an armchair, I picked it up, wrapped it wound my neck and made my way outside.

Edward joined me a minute later, and we set off on our walk. The plains around the house were covered in a thick blanket of snow, so I steered us towards the woods, where the thick-canopied trees would have protected the ground from getting buried too deeply.

We walked in silence for a few minutes at a leisurely human pace. I enjoyed running through these woods, but I was in no rush today. There was more joy in the feel of Edward's hand intertwined with mine than any amount of speed could ever bring.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Edward must have noticed that I'd been tense and on edge since we left for Alaska. I scolded myself for not hiding it better and for worrying him unnecessarily.

I halted our progress and turned to face him. "I'm well, love. As well as can be expected, that is. I worry for your safety, and there's no amount of reassurance that can change that. Once they're on their way back to the dungeon they live in and we're left alone in each other's arms, _then_ I'll relax." I lifted my hands to his hair, pulling down the woolen beanie hat he wore more snugly on his head. "But there is nothing for you to be worried about, do you hear me? I will see you through this." The words burned with the intensity of my commitment as they passed my lips.

"I know, Bella. But I do worry about you." His eyes were soft and melancholy as he spoke. I guess we were stuck like this until the situation was resolved. I'd worry for him, and he for me. Under the circumstances, not fretting would be an impossibility. We can do no more than to accept it.

I grasped his hands and continued to walk at his pace. But now I was wound up and antsy, thinking about the things to come, and I really needed a run to blow off some steam. That idea was quashed in the same moment as I realized the speed would whip the wind much too cold on Edward's face.

As I dropped my hands in defeat, they grazed something warm and fuzzy hanging down my front. _The scarf!_ I thought triumphantly. I could wrap it around Edward's face, which should protect him from the wind.

With renewed spirits, I proposed my plan. "How would you feel about going for a run?"

Dismay colored his face. "Run? Um… I'm not wearing running shoes, Bella," he said, picking up one booted foot for my inspection.

I sighed in amused frustration. He was always thinking I was going to make him run. "You won't be running, Edward."

The grin that appeared on his face was instantaneous, having finally understood what I meant.

Disentangling the scarf from around my neck, I stepped towards him. "Come here," I said, throwing the wool over his head and wrapping it securely around his nose and mouth. Now only his eyes were visible.

"Do I look like a ninja?" His voice was muffled through the fabric, but he squinted his eyes and began doing a very awkward impression of Bruce Lee, down to the battle cries.

"Hi-yah!"

"Oh, yes," I managed to say through the hysterics. "You look a perfect samurai."

I couldn't see his delicious mouth, but his eyes crinkled as they did when he smiled widely, a true, happy smile.

I turned my back to him, and patted my right flank. "Come on up, ye mighty warrior."

Once he was secured in place, he looked around us before wrapping his arms over my shoulders.

"Everything all right?" I asked.

"Yeah, just checking if I still look like a complete tool riding piggyback with you."

"Your conclusions?" I asked with a chuckle.

"I look just as stupid as the last time, possibly even more so, considering all the bulk I'm wearing. I feel like that kid from _A Christmas Story._ But as long as Jasper doesn't get to see me like this, I don't care. I love running like this with you, but the little twit would never let me live it down."

I supposed we did look a little odd in this position, but who cared? I loved running with my Edward draped over my body, and by the howls of laughter and the gleeful expression on his face the entire duration of a run, I had a feeling he enjoyed it, too.

I twined his legs more securely around my waist and took off at full speed, running through the trees for a little while before I used them for leverage and bounced from one to the next. I knew that to be Edward's favorite part of a run, the jumping around. His laughter always increased tenfold every time I played pinball with the forest.

After twenty minutes of running, we came upon a clearing that immediately drew my attention. Everywhere else around us was covered in a thick layer of snow, but not this particularly small place. It was round, and almost an exact circle, as if someone had cleared the snow here on purpose. A smattering of yellowish shrubs was scattered around the open space, interspersed with tiny blue and orange flowers. The mix of yellow and orange shining in the sun cast a lovely golden glow around the clearing. I must remember to bring mother here so she can identify the species; she'll be delighted to see flowers blooming in such harsh conditions.

Edward stepped down from my back and grasped my hand, towing me with him to the center of the clearing. I was suddenly reminded of the last time we were in a similar situation, when I took him to my—our—meadow. This time, there would be no hiding in the shadows for me. I marched to the middle right by his side, confident in my belief that I belonged there with him.

I pulled Edward to my arms, burying my face in his chest. His heartbeat rang clear as day to me, despite it being hidden behind all the layers that kept my love warm. I'd dreaded being so close to a beating human heart; what if it became too much? What if I slipped? Fortunately, my fears were unfounded. This was my favorite sound in the world, the sound of Edward's life, the sound that assured me that he is, indeed, here.

He pushed me away from his chest just an inch so he could remove the scarf around his face. As soon as his mouth came into view, it collided with mine. Edward kissed me hungrily, with an abandon that felt as though he was kissing me for the last time. Needing him just as much, I returned it with feeling, tangling my fingers in his unruly hair.

I was lost in contentment, here in Edward's arms, his lips feathering kisses on my face, his warm, sweet breath washing over me. My eyes slid shut to better enjoy the exquisite sensations.

At the same time that my phone vibrated in my pocket, I picked up the scent. Without a thought, I straightened and stiffened, bringing the phone to my ear. I knew who was on the other end of the line; there was no need to glance at the caller ID.

I flipped it open and spoke at once. "Alice, I smell them."

"Bella, they changed their plans, I didn't see—" Alice was frantic.

I quickly interrupted her apologies. "Never mind that now, what else do you see? Focus!"

"They were in Canada, set to visit us tomorrow, but on a whim they started heading down with no particular destination in mind. They crossed a trail of your scent leading away from the house this morning, and decided to follow it. I didn't see it until they smelled you…and Edward. Can you run with him? How close are they to you?" Alice's voice had dwindled to a repentant whisper.

"No, they're too close, I won't be fast enough, not carrying… Are the others there with you?" Panic was beginning to rise up in my stomach, but I pushed it back down.

"Yes, we're heading out the door now, we're coming to you. Stay put and don't say much until we get there. We'll follow your scent. We're coming, Bella!" Alice all but shouted the last words. I wasn't the only one panicking.

I shut off the phone and pocketed it. Edward was staring at me, silent and alarmed.

"Bella, what's going on?" He was terrified, I could see it in his eyes, but he was trying hard to cover it up.

At that moment, three black figures appeared in the distance. They were much too far for Edward to make out who they were, or even see them, but their expressionless visages, though partially concealed by the hooded cloaks they wore, were crystal clear to me.

My answer was a barely contained snarl. "They're here."

I quickly turned to Edward, grasping his face with both my hands. "Hold on to my hand tight, and no matter what happens, _do not let go!" _

* * *

**AN: Evil cliffie, I know, but the chapter was becoming a monster. Next chapter is already half done, so you won't have to wait long. ;)  
**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts, so leave a review!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

**Bella POV**

They didn't hurry, they didn't run; they had all the time in the world. The three Volturi guards that we expected to arrive tomorrow, according to Alice's vision, had come a day early and now stood before Edward and me. There wasn't time to say much to him, to explain what any of it meant, not without giving anything away to our unwelcome visitors. All I could do was hiss in face an urgent plea. _"Hold on to my hand tight, and no matter what happens, do not let go!" _

I now prayed that he'd take heed and follow that one instruction to the letter. I feared I'd break his bones in my desperation to maintain the contact; it was all I could do to protect him.

"Isabella Cullen, what a pleasant surprise," Eleazar said as he approached us. He couldn't possibly think that I didn't know this to be a lie. He knew the precise scope of Alice's abilities; he must have guessed we'd know when and _where_ to expect him. The feigned niceties made me nervous, but I might as well follow along.

"Eleazar, what brings you to these parts?" I infused my voice with as much surprise as I could muster. Edward still held on tightly to my hand, for which I was grateful, but the anxiety at my family's absence was threatening to overwhelm me.

"Aro wishes me to speak with you and Alice once more. He is anxious for you to reconsider his invitation." Eleazar sounded as though he truly believed he was bestowing upon us the greatest of honors and he couldn't quite grasp why we were so reluctant to comply.

"Demetri, Jane, a pleasure," I tacked on with a nod; Alice had seen that they would be the ones to make the trip with Eleazar. Demetri was usually part of these expeditions; being the most gifted tracker in existence earned him a high rank in the Volturi guard, and it meant that if there were anyone they wanted found, he'd be the one to do it. Demetri's presence was easily explained, but Jane's addition to their group unsettled me.

Seeing Jane was anything _but_ a pleasure. The girl rivaled Alice in her small stature, but that was where their similarities ended. Her features were boyish, her dulled red eyes distant and malicious; she had none of Alice's warmth. I despised the very idea of this vampire; the way the Volturi used her to inflict incapacitating pain. I despised the notion that the Volturi sought to turn me into _her._

Demetri bowed his head in quiet greeting, but Jane's moved in the opposite direction. She jutted out her jaw as if to look down her nose on me, which was impossible since she stood at least three inches shorter. I raised an eyebrow at her demeanor; while I had my personal reasons to detest her, I could not see why she should dislike me.

"The infamous Bella Cullen," she murmured in a monotone. "I've heard so much about you." Jane appraised me with an empty stare, as if trying to decide what the Volturi could possibly want with the likes of me. She had the right idea, as far as I was concerned. If only she could convince them of my worthlessness to their ranks.

Something in Jane's blank stare must have made Edward uncomfortable; his grip on my hand tightened, and his chest pressed to my back, his other arm wrapping around my shoulders. Her face broke into an insolent smirk.

Eleazar turned his gaze to Edward, acting as though he'd just noticed his presence.

"Isabella, is that a human? Are you considering a change in your diet?"

I shook my head curtly. "No, Eleazar, you know our commitment. This is Edward Masen. I thought you'd have heard of him from Felix." The pretense was wearing on me; there was nothing to be gained any longer by continuing the charade of Edward as a random human.

"Ah, yes, yes, of course. Edward Masen," Eleazar said jovially. He stared openly at Edward, lips slightly parted with the look of someone watching the most engrossing movie.

"Yeah, that's me. And you are?" The hint of fear in Edward's voice was undetectable to all but me. They might be trying to seem intimidating, but Edward wasn't allowing them the upper hand. My brave, brave man.

Eleazar's face broke into a pleasantly surprised smile as he walked forward, holding out his hand to shake Edward's. "Eleazar of the Volturi. How do you do?"

Edward looked at the man's hand uncertainly, as though it might bite him. He glanced down at me, and I nodded once, indicating it was all right to shake hands. As long as Edward never broke his contact with me, he would be safe.

Our exchange didn't go unnoticed by Jane, who rolled her eyes in exaggerated annoyance and fixed a malevolent glare on Edward, her forehead twitching minutely.

Demetri immediately placed a hand on Jane's arm, his eyes darting to her face with a hard look. A warning.

And then it suddenly clicked, and I realized what she had been attempting to do.

Never letting go of Edward's hand, I sank into a crouch and bared my teeth at Jane, red-hot fury coursing through me as the growls rumbling out of my throat promised her imminent death.

She smiled now, a genuine smile, and slowly sauntered forward.

Eleazar broke out of his trance and gripped Jane's arm, halting her progress. "What do you think you are doing?" He snarled at her, turning back to me with a dazed look. "Such power…"

Jane didn't answer, but her expression was answer enough. She was furious at being stopped, though her rage for not being allowed to fight me was but a breeze against the hurricane of my wrath; I might be very tolerant, but a direct attack on my mate was beyond the realm of my acceptance.

Volturi be damned, I would obliterate the evil little witch; as my muscles bunched, preparing to pounce, I let my intentions be known with a deafening roar.

I was going to have to let go of Edward's hand if I were to eliminate the threat. Every fiber of my being fought against it, but my fingers moved to release him, though his hand never left mine.

"Bella…" Edward's whisper was soft and frightened.

"Bella!" Alice shouted at the same time as my family came into sight.

My mother, Kate, and Carmen were running ahead, Alice right behind them, and Carlisle brought up the rear with Jasper on his back. Putting Jasper down a good two hundred yards away from where the Volturi stood, Carlisle blurred to position himself in front of me. The rest of my family converged around Jasper—the one vulnerable element in their group—though mother whimpered as if burned when she spotted Edward not ten feet away from the crimson-eyed vampires.

"Bella? What is going on?" Carlisle, noticing my crouch, placed one hand on my shoulder and another on my cheek to coax me into looking at him.

I didn't take my eyes off the witch, nor did I relax my stance.

Following my gaze to find it locked on Jane, realization struck him.

"Eleazar! What is the meaning of this?" Carlisle demanded of his long-time friend, his voice laden with anger. I felt a brief twinge of relief that he maintained his hand on my shoulder.

Eleazar gave Carlisle a pained glance, but chose to address me. "Isabella, please accept my sincerest regrets. Jane got carried away; she meant no harm, and she's _sorry_, aren't you, Jane?" He bared his teeth at her at the word _sorry_, cutting his eyes to her in intense displeasure.

Jane seemed to be gagging on the words. "Yes. I am so sorry, _Isabella_," she sneered.

Eleazar looked appropriately contrite; this was obviously not what he had in mind, though I can't fathom why he thought things would go smoothly with Jane present.

"Is this what we were to expect from the Volturi had we chosen to join you in Volterra? I'm sure Aro will be thrilled to hear how his little pet thought it a good idea to unleash an unprovoked attack," I snarled. It was an empty threat; Alice and I would never make such a choice, nor would I be contacting Aro to tell him what had transpired here, but I felt they needed to be reminded of their purpose, and that hostility would do little to accomplish it.

Jane could hold her tongue no longer. "Who cares? He's a human! It's not as though I attacked one of us. Besides, he knows our secret. He can't be allowed to live."

My ire spilled over at her words. Jane was going to die. _Now._

Sensing what I was about to do, Jane sank into a matching crouch, but Alice's words made her freeze.

"I wouldn't, Jane."

Jane turned to Alice, a disbelieving look on her face as if she thought she misunderstood. Her expression was almost comical.

"Carry on, and you won't be making the return trip to Volterra. If this course continues, it's set in stone. I've seen it," Alice continued, tapping her temple with a dainty finger.

Eleazar had had enough.

"Demetri, get her out of here. I'll deal with her later," Eleazar barked.

Demetri looked uncertain; it was apparent he feared leaving Eleazar alone in our midst, but the Volturi envoy dismissed his unspoken concerns with an impatient wave. With a stiff nod, the tracker grasped the little hellhound's arm and dragged her away.

"Again, Isabella, Carlisle, my deepest apologies. I can't justify Jane's behavior," Eleazar murmured in a saddened tone.

The immediate threat gone, I felt comfortable enough to straighten out of my crouch, and turned around to face Edward.

"Are you all right? Were you hurt? Did you feel anything?" The questions tumbled out of my lips, my hands almost shaking with dread.

Pressing a kiss to my forehead, Edward was quick to assuage my fears. "I'm all right, Bella. Whatever it was that she did, I didn't feel a thing."

Relief washed over me so strongly, it almost brought me to my knees. Ignoring everyone around us, I held him close and buried my face in Edward's chest, needing to feel his heartbeat on my skin.

"A human mate? Can this be?" Eleazar was saying in a stunned voice.

I spun to face him, nodding once. "Alice's as well."

Eleazar scratched his chin, seemingly lost in thought, as though making a decision. After a long moment, he said, "I suppose the time for pretense is past. We knew of Edward, Isabella; I detected a latent ability in him last time I went to Seattle to speak with you and Alice. I reported it to Aro and, naturally, he became interested. I did not know, however, that he was your mate."

He looked to Carlisle, a silent plea for understanding in his eyes, and his gaze slid over to Alice as he continued, "I presume they will be changed then?"

She nodded in response to his question, and his eyes wandered over the rest of our group as he said, "Of course this changes…things…"

The words trailed off into nothingness. Eleazar had suddenly been rendered speechless, his eyes wide and staring.

Alice was bouncing in place, swiftly clapping her hands, her face alight with glee.

For a confusing instant, I thought Jane was back and hurting Eleazar, until I followed his gaze to see what he was staring at.

_Carmen._

Her face mirrored his; I knew that look. It held subdued wonder, elated disbelief, and it spoke of instantaneous, unbreakable bonds. It was the look of one finally coming home.

Alice cleared her throat delicately to catch our attention, already walking away hand in hand with Jasper. "Perhaps we should give them some privacy?" Her self-satisfied smile told me this was what she had seen before, the surprise she didn't want ruined.

I shook my head at her in quiet amusement and followed my family out of the clearing, leaving Carmen and Eleazar to gaze at each other. In my experience, this could last a while.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

**Edward POV**

I was having a really good dream when I suddenly startled myself awake. The room glowed with the light coming from the fireplace, and the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the curve of Bella's neck.

After we returned to the cabin from our impromptu meeting with the big bad wolves, everyone quickly agreed we should go home tomorrow and take today to just unwind. Bella sure as hell had needed it; it took hours for her forehead to ease out of the death glare that seemed permanently painted on her face.

Jasper had already been brought up to speed on everything that happened, and we had a chance to talk earlier. He feared for me—above all, he feared that we might be separated if I were forced to go to Italy—but his reaction to what he saw when he arrived at the scene with the rest of the family surprised me. His faith that the Cullens could keep us safe was unshakeable, and though he worried, he knew no harm would come to me. Thinking back on this morning, I realized the truth of his confidence. I chanced a glimpse of him as he walked towards the clearing, and his expression wasn't what I'd expected; he exuded tranquility. I'd been scared shitless until the rest of the Cullens and the Denalis arrived—not so much for myself, but for Bella. The short blonde vampire did something imperceptible to me that set Bella off, and she was ready to throw hands. There were three of them against Bella alone—I couldn't really count myself, what could I do to hurt them? Once they arrived and I saw Jasper and the peaceful expression he wore, my fear subsided. Sometimes, you just couldn't help feeling whatever mood Jasper projected, and in his serenity I found solace.

We sat with the family for some time while Bella and Carlisle rehashed the events of this morning, and as soon as they were done, Bella took my hand and led me upstairs to our room. We settled on the bed, and that's where we've been for the past six hours.

I felt Bella shift slightly before she whispered, "Are you awake?"

I answered her with a satisfied moan. I'd fallen asleep with my face planted on her chest, and I had no intention of moving. Being this close to Bella, breathing in the sweet scent that's all her, brought back a flash of a memory from this morning.

While she was still only talking to the Volturi guards, I'd felt a degree of apprehension, but no real fear. When she bent her knees in a clearly aggressive stance, the fear still wasn't there; it came later. At first, the sight of Bella like that, her body graceful and positioned like a hunting tigress, was a huge turn on. I know, completely ridiculous, but the feelings of desire that almost overwhelmed me were impossible to suppress; she looked glorious, a furious avenging angel, and in that moment, I wanted her so badly it hurt.

A chuckle sounded in her chest as she pulled us up to a sitting position.

Bella kissed me lightly, barely a peck, and turned her serious, concerned eyes to mine. "How are you feeling after what happened today? Is there anything you want to talk about, anything you want to ask me?"

She probably expected me to be afraid, or in shock, but I honestly wasn't. Now that I thought about it, all the fear I felt during that encounter was for _her_. I didn't remember a moment when I feared for my own life throughout the confrontation. It wasn't like I had no sense of self-preservation—I didn't have a death wish or anything—but as Bella held my hand the entire time, I felt protected, safe. In that moment, my greatest concern was that if they decided to fight her, there would be nothing I could do to protect her from harm, and that thought horrified me.

Bella waited patiently for my answer, allowing me a moment to mull things over. "I'm feeling fine, Bella." When she gave me an incredulous look, I pressed on. "Really, I am. Having you by my side gave me all the sense of security I'd need. Though I gotta say…those vampires look…fucking creepy."

Bella nodded silently in agreement. Creepy was putting it lightly; they were like characters from a horror movie. Their skin was as pale as the Cullens, but it lacked the soft, silky sheen; it was chalky and opaque. And the cloaks? They looked like a trio of undertakers. But there was one thing that I found more disturbing than the rest…

"Their eyes kind of freaked me out. That's the stuff of nightmares, especially on that little girl," I continued.

Bella held me tighter and ran her fingers lightly through my hair before she spoke. "It's their diet; animal blood dilutes the red, but human blood maintains it. We all awaken from the transformation with bright red eyes; the coloring comes from our own blood lingering in our bodies, but it fades."

That pulled me up short. So I would have creepy red eyes when I became a vampire? "How long?"

"Six months to a year on a strict animal blood regimen. They turn amber first, then fade to a lighter gold," Bella told me. The way she talked about this, there was none of the hesitation from before. She didn't dance around it, didn't try to sugarcoat it. Her acceptance of the fact that being like her was my future and we couldn't change that anymore than we could change the direction the earth rotates silenced my insecurities, or at least some of them.

I tightened my arms around her and sighed contentedly when a sudden knock on the door made me jump.

"Relax, love, it's your bother," Bella giggled.

"Edward, you awake?" Jasper whispered a second later.

"Yeah, I'm coming down," I called back, crawling out of bed and reaching for my guitar, knowing full well what brought Jasper to my door in the middle of the night. This was a thing Jasper and I did; when we still lived at home, every time he couldn't sleep at night, he'd come get me and we'd go into dad's study and jam together until morning. Playing together soothed him, and I did cherish each and every one of those sleepless nights with my brother.

"I love you, Edward," Bella said as I walked to the door.

I ran back to the bed and threw myself on her, attacking her mouth with mine, whispering between kisses, "I love you, too…so much."

As I expected, Jasper had his guitar with him, and we trotted down the stairs to the living room, where a fire still burned bright.

"You know everyone in this house can hear us, right?" I felt the need to remind him because, more often than not, Jasper simply forgot all concepts of time and place.

"I hope so," he said with a wide, satisfied grin. "Remember the song we've been working on?"

I remembered, of course; it was _Alive_, by Adelita's Way. We wanted to add it to our set, but our gigs were on hold until James showed up or we replaced him. I ran through the harmony and lyrics in my head, and my lips pulled up into a smile. This song expressed so well just how I felt about Bella.

Nodding to Jasper, I counted down and we began playing.

_What if I told you that I think you're perfect?_

_Beautiful sky in your eyes, it's so worth it._

_I know you make me feel alive._

_What if I told you that I'm in forever?_

_Nothing to hide, yeah, I'll go wherever you go._

_You make me feel alive._

_And I'll be hanging on every word you say to me._

_Hanging on a feeling that I get,_

_Cause you make me_

_Laugh a little louder_

_Love a little harder._

As I sang, my thoughts drifted to the woman that made all those words true…

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

**Bella POV**

I stayed on the bed after Edward went downstairs with Jasper, bathing in his lingering scent on the sheets. The sound of Jasper's and Edward's voices drifted softly through the house as they sang, but I singled out Edward's and focused on it, closing my eyes and pretending he was singing to me. When they bridged into the chorus, I quietly sang along, barely audible even to myself.

_And I feel alive when I'm with you_

_Every time it's something new._

_Never knew what love could feel like_

_Until I walked away the first time._

_And I feel alive when I'm with you._

_Deep inside it's something true._

_You're the only reason I fight,_

_You're the best thing in my life_

Alice entered the room and sat next to me, taking hold of my hand and resting her head on my shoulder.

"We haven't had a chance to talk since this morning. Are you all right, Bella?"

I gave her hand a brief squeeze of reassurance. "I am now. But things could have gone terribly wrong this morning, and they almost did if the family hadn't shown up when they did."

Alice nodded, which confirmed my suspicions that if things had escalated to a fight, it would probably not end well for me.

"Thank you, by the way," I said.

Straightening herself, Alice turned to face me. "For what?"

"For intervening with Jane when I was about to lunge at her, for making her believe that it wouldn't be in her best interest to fight me," I explained.

Alice gazed at me in confusion for a moment before understanding smoothed her expression. "I wasn't lying, Bella; that was a real vision. If she had entered into combat with you, she would have died. They all would."

I stared at Alice in utter disbelief. "How could that even be possible? They're well-trained, seasoned warriors; they could destroy me before I could blink twice."

"Shield," she said simply. "In my vision, something prevented any of us from approaching you to help; I have no idea what that was. We were held away by some unseen force and could only watch the fight unfold. I saw her come towards you and Edward, and your shield engaged…with all that it can do." The look she gave me told me exactly what that meant. "It was pretty brutal," she finished in a whisper.

So I could have ended the evil witch after all. "Why did you stop me, then?"

"Because you're not ready for that, Bella. And besides, I didn't think you'd want Edward to see that."

I frowned as I realized she was right; I wouldn't want Edward to see that, to see _me_ like that. It surprised me that I'd been so eager to jump at the chance to embrace the very thing I'd been so reluctant to accept: my shield's capacity for destruction. Edward being in harm's way seemed to have altered my feelings on that without my even being aware of it.

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**Bella POV**

Carmen and Eleazar returned to the house while we were packing to fly back to Washington.

I was happy for Carmen, I truly was. She was an immensely compassionate and kind woman; no one deserved it more. _But did it have to be with one of the Volturi guard?_ That particular detail galled me, and my irritation slipped out in the way I balled up a shirt and stuffed in the suitcase.

Edward wisely chose to not say anything, but I could see his smirk as he folded a pair of jeans.

After the initial shock of their sister finding her mate so unexpectedly, Kate and Irina were now worrying themselves into knots. They feared—with good reason—that their sister might return to Italy with Eleazar, and they wouldn't be able to follow.

As Edward snapped the latches on his guitar case, someone knocked once before opening the door.

Alice entered, her gaze falling sharply on the suitcase that I had been packing; I'd been throwing my things in it without utilizing one of Alice's "proper packing techniques." Now that she caught me at it, there'd be trouble later.

"Bella, Eleazar and Carmen would like to speak to all of us," Alice said, still glaring at my suitcase as if it'd done her a personal wrong.

"We'll be right down, Alice."

I hastily zipped my suitcase shut, and turned to Edward. "Are you ready?"

He nodded and took the hand I held out to him.

I tried to assess his mood with no success. I worried he might fear Eleazar's presence; he'd have good reason after yesterday morning, but his face showed nothing.

Everyone else had already gathered in the living room, but it was clear they'd been waiting for us before anything was said.

Edward went straight for an armchair, pulling me down onto it with him. Normally, he would let me lead the way and pick a seat, but not today. He kept his eyes on Eleazar as we walked across the room, gripping my hand ostensibly; his gaze was disconcertingly intense.

No sooner we sat down, Eleazar began to speak.

"Before I begin, I wish to apologize to Isabella and Edward once more. What Jane did was inexcusable, and I will personally see to it that she is dealt with properly. You have my word."

At the mention of Jane's name, a wave of rage rocked through me. Edward rubbed my forearm gently, silencing the growl that bubbled to my lips. His touch soothed me—a reminder that he was here and well.

Eleazar looked uneasy in face of my reaction. Carmen held his hand in both of hers, but her eyes, her pleading eyes, were fastened on mine. He was a part of their family now, and by extension, of ours. She needed me to forgive him.

The more rational part of me knew that Eleazar hadn't been directly at fault; Jane acted of her own volition when she attempted to hurt Edward. The other part, however, the one that seethed with fury at the very thought of any harm coming to my Edward, longed to destroy all of them and dance on their ashes.

Carmen deserved this happiness, however. How could I stand in the way of that?

So it was with a resigned nod of my head that I accepted Eleazar's apology.

Visibly relieved, Eleazar continued. "I have spoken to Carmen, Kate, and Irina with regards to how we should proceed. We decided that it would be best for me to stay here with them."

He looked to Carmen and placed a soft kiss to her forehead, turning to face the group again. "If we were to live in Italy, Carmen would be separated from her sisters; I would never wish for her to choose between me and her family. I have decided to leave the Volturi and settle in Alaska with the Denali clan. They have all given their blessings to my addition, on the proviso that I strive to follow their lifestyle."

Carlisle was elated by this news. "Eleazar, that is wonderful news!" I knew he was delighted in equal measures for Eleazar's addition to the family and for the end of his human-drinking days.

Mother nodded her approval of Carlisle's words.

I took a more skeptical approach. "Do you think you will be able to abstain from human blood entirely? You've been feeding off humans for centuries, I would imagine it must be a difficult habit to break."

"Bella…" Kate whispered in admonishment.

I'd opened my mouth to respond to Kate, but Eleazar interrupted me.

"It's a fair question," he said with a placating look for Kate. Turning back to me, he said with a shrug, "I don't expect it to be easy, but human blood is no longer an option. For Carmen, there is nothing I won't do, and this is of extreme importance to her, to all of you. I would never cause her the anguish of knowing I continued to kill humans to sate my thirst."

I still had my doubts, but he sounded earnest and sincere. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

"If that's enough for Carmen, it ought to be enough for all of us," Carlisle said sternly. He was eager to embrace Eleazar as family, and to make him feel comfortable enough to find his place in the alternative lifestyle our families shared.

"It is, Carlisle," I agreed.

"Are you simply leaving the Volturi? Will they even allow you? Are you sending them any notification?" Alice piped in, firing off questions in rapid succession without waiting for an answer.

Eleazar turned to her with a benevolent smile. "I will be returning to Italy tonight with Jane and Demetri. I must speak to Aro in person, and I shall tender my resignation then. I don't expect Aro will prevent me from leaving; he's not a tyrant."

_Aro, not a tyrant? He's one step away from shackling Alice and me and taking us back to his underground lair in chains, if that's what it takes for us to do his bidding._ I controlled my expression before my thoughts could show, but my mind was bursting with derisive retorts.

Edward glanced at me, letting out a low snicker, as if he knew exactly what was going through my head.

"Won't this Aro kick up a fuss to lose your skill?" Edward asked. His voice carried a hint of bitterness and antagonism. He held Eleazar personally responsible for having delayed our first meeting and for my intermittent disappearances in the beginning, when it had been necessary to keep Edward safe. It was because Eleazar sensed Edward's latent ability that Felix had gotten thrown in the mix, causing me to step back into the shadows for a lot longer than I had originally planned.

Eleazar turned to face Edward with an appraising look, as though seeing him for the first time. "I presume he will be…displeased, but he will accept my choice."

Which reminded me…

"What exactly do you sense from Edward in regards to his ability?" I asked Eleazar.

His brow furrowed in concentration as he continued to stare at Edward. "Strange…very strange…" He muttered to himself.

_Well, thank you for clearing that up._

"I can't put my finger on it. Before, back in Seattle, I detected some heightened sensitivity to thoughts and images in your Edward, perhaps some form of telepathy. But now…" Eleazar cocked his head this way and that way as if trying to focus on something he couldn't quite see. "It's completely fuzzy, I can't exactly grasp _what_ his ability is, only that it's there."

Edward turned to me, startled, his grip on my hand tightening.

My eyes slipped down to our intertwined fingers, and it dawned on me. I broke out contact, stood up, and took two steps away.

"How about now?"

Eleazar also stood, moving closer to Edward, who remained sitting. The proximity of Eleazar spurred some instinctual response in me, and I tensed.

"Fascinating…" Eleazar murmured. "I could read him slightly better once you let go of his hand, but when I approached him, he disappeared entirely. He became as undetectable to me as you are."

My mind raced with the implications of what he just said. _But how? I'm not touching him._

Eleazar resumed his seat by Carmen, visibly excited by this experiment. "Of course, I know the exact depth of your shield's power because you block me so completely. But it seems young Edward here is benefitting from that shield, even though there is no physical contact. Are you projecting?"

As I sat back down next to Edward, I shook my head, confused. "I don't know how; I never tried."

"Well, you're doing it right now, my dear," Eleazar said with a chuckle. "If I were to venture a guess, you unconsciously perceived me as a threat to your mate when I walked towards him and reacted instinctively to protect him."

Carlisle and Kate both wore encouraging smiles for me. Those two were the biggest advocates in the campaign to convince me to develop my talent, a talent which was obviously getting away from me as it was now acting of its own accord.

Damn it all to hell. It seems I couldn't ever escape it, but I suppose Kate was right. Ignoring it wouldn't make it go away, though I couldn't begrudge it much if it sought to protect Edward even without my controlling it.

I was ready for this conversation to be over. "We can speak more on the matter at another time, after you've returned from Volterra and had a chance to settle in," I said to Eleazar.

He nodded pleasantly. "It will be a pleasure, Isabella."

"If you're going to be a part of this family, you must start calling me Bella."

Eleazar laughed briefly. "Bella it is."

Carlisle and my mother stood then, looking around the gathering. "It's getting late, and we have a long journey ahead of us. We must be going," Carlisle said.

I jumped to my feet at his words, pulling Edward up with me; I couldn't wait to go home.

We exchanged embraces and farewells, and left with the promise of a visit in the near future.

* * *

**AN: Super beta powers, activate! Thank Anakinsmom for this early chapter, she beta'd it in record time. You rock! **

**I also want to thank Deebelle for making the most amazing banner for my story! FF . net cuts half of it off, so you can see it here: i1152 . photobucket albums / p500 / DawningJuliet / ABLbanned_zps56f8dcb0 . jpg [remove the spaces] **

**You guys were such good sports about my evil cliffie that I didn't want to leave you hanging for long to find out what happens, so here it is. Next chapter is already underway, so hopefully I should have it up soon. **

**Adelita's Way - Alive - I tried posting the link in every way imaginable, but FF thwarted all my attempts. You can find it on youtube, search for "Adelita's Way Alive Acoustic", it's the fourth one down from the top that shows up, by Afterfall. This is *exactly* what I imagined Edward and Jasper playing together sounded like, well worth a listen, so check it out.  
**

**Thanks everyone for reading! I'd love to hear what you think about the chapter.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

**Edward POV**

In the following weeks after our return from Alaska, life pretty much went back to normal. I did get a call from the same detective that spoke to Emmett about James's disappearance, and I agreed to go down to the station, but there wasn't much I could tell him.

I'd last seen James around the same time everyone else had, and he'd disappeared after we were done playing. No, I hadn't seen anything suspicious during the evening; yes, he seemed normal and his usual self—that is to say, an asshole—all night; no, I had no idea if he had any enemies.

The detective didn't look too hopeful that they'd find James; I got the impression he had me come down for this interview just to go through the motions. He thanked me for my cooperation and sent me on my way.

As I drove to Bella's place, I let my mind wander, and it circled back to the same thoughts that had been bouncing around my head for a while now.

After everything I'd seen and discovered in the past few months—the existence of immortals, the possibility of an endless lifetime, and knowing that this would be my future—the course my human life was taking seemed so completely senseless. What would be the point of a business degree, then law school? I had no love for what I was doing, and it had always felt like a monumental waste of my time, but I went through with it because that was what was expected of me. But now…I couldn't justify it to myself anymore, not when there was something else I'd much rather be studying.

I'd made up my mind. Come next semester, I'll be switching to a music major, maybe even focus on composing. I'd have to find a way to cram a piano into my apartment, possibly a small upright, but I had bigger concerns right now, the biggest of which being what I'd tell my father.

I knew mom would be all right with it; all she wanted was for her children to be happy, and she was never really on board with my dad piling all these expectations on me. Edward Masen, Sr. would be a different story. The old man would shit a chicken when I told him that it wouldn't be necessary for him to keep me an open seat in his law firm, that the only time I'd see the inside of a courtroom would be if I ever needed to contest a speeding ticket.

A litany of possible speeches still churned around my head as I made my way into the lobby of Bella's building.

One of the security men behind the desk greeted me with a courteous nod, but made no move for the phone. "Good evening, Mr. Masen."

It was no longer necessary for him to buzz me in; Bella had given me a key to her apartment and left a standing order with security that I was allowed in and out as I pleased. When I offered her a key to my place, she took it with a chuckle and kissed me. _Oh, right. She didn't need a key to get in._

"Good evening, Abe." No matter how many times I'd insisted they call me Edward, it was always Mr. Masen. I was here so often—daily, almost—I'd hoped they would drop the formalities, but no such luck. I pulled out my key chain and selected the small golden key as I headed straight for the elevator on the far right that would take me straight to Bella's floor.

I let myself in, tossing my keys in a crystal bowl near the door. I released a sigh of longing and relief at the sight of the black leather duffel bag sitting by the entryway. Bella was home.

My exhale sounded and, within the same heartbeat, Bella was standing in front of me. Finally, I could breathe properly again. I was always riddled with anxiety every time I had to be away from Bella, but now that she was here, the angst drained away; I felt almost light-headed in its absence.

Throwing my arms around her, I pulled her into me and buried my face in her hair.

She stepped into my embrace eagerly, as if she, too, couldn't stand another millisecond without physical contact.

I took deep breaths, flooding my lungs with Bella's scent, feeling the calm spread through me; it felt like taking a hit of a very powerful drug after months of withdrawal—I was thoroughly and completed addicted to this woman, and only with her presence, her smell, her taste, could I function normally.

"I missed you so much," I whispered into her hair. "I hate it when you're gone."

Bella had been going to Alaska for a couple of days a week for the past three weeks to meet with Eleazar. He'd returned from Italy within a week of his meeting Carmen, and though Bella had wanted to give him more time to get settled with his new family, he'd insisted that she visit right away so they could begin investigating her talent, the specifics of which still weren't all that clear to me. It looked like I'd be without Bella a few days out of the week for the foreseeable future.

"I know, love, and I'm sorry. I miss you terribly as well, but it's a necessary evil." Bella didn't sound any happier about the situation than I was but, when Eleazar suggested she bring me along, she went ballistic. Something about accidents and it being too dangerous to train her ability with me nearby.

I had tried to talk to her about it, but she was adamant that I stay away. She looked downright panicked at the mere thought of my suggestion, so I let it go. But I fucking hated it.

Bella stepped out of my arms without letting go of my hand and walked to the living room, pulling me with her onto the couch.

"So, any plans for the weekend?" She asked as she sat down.

"Not really." Emmett and I had planned to get together and play, but that plan fell through when Jasper announced he couldn't make it; he was going away for the weekend with Alice.

Bella gave me an appraising look. "How would you like to go to Forks? Mother has been asking me to bring you by; she misses you."

"That'd be great," I agreed with a smile. I hadn't seen Carlisle and Esme since we returned from Alaska, and I missed them as well.

"Wonderful, that's settled then; we'll leave first thing tomorrow morning, that gives us the entire weekend there. While we're there, will you be all right on your own for a few hours? I'm overdue for a hunt." Bella looked almost apologetic at the prospect of having to leave me alone.

That was obvious now that I inspected her eyes more closely. The irises were almost entirely obscured with only the barest hint of gold to them.

I softly caressed the shadow under her right eye with my thumb as I pressed my lips to her left cheek.

"Slim pickings in Alaska?"

Bella grimaced. "No, not that. There is just no time to waste while I'm there." I didn't think it was even possible for vampires, but she sounded tired.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Take all the time you need to hunt." She definitely looked in dire need of it. "Maybe you could take me with you," I blurted out.

Bella turned to me with eyes as wide as dinner plates. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not? Besides, shouldn't I see how hunting works? I'll have to do that myself someday," I pushed. During the confrontation with the little blonde vampire, I saw a side of Bella that I had never even imagined before. Seeing her crouched like a jungle cat, her muscles almost vibrating with barely contained violence, absolutely fascinated me. Ever since that day, I'd been dreaming of watching her hunt.

Bella gave a pained look and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Edward…it's just not a good idea to have you around…when I'm hunting. You see, it's not a conscious thing; during a hunt, we're governed by our senses, our instincts. I don't know if…if it would be safe for you to be there."

I dropped my head in defeat. Of course she wouldn't endanger me, and how could I even ask her to? Her reasoning left me little room to argue, and I had to accept that I wouldn't be seeing her hunt until I could hunt with her.

Bella sat still and silent for a minute. I was still trying to swallow my disappointment.

"You're right, though. Perhaps you should see what it's like," she said suddenly.

My head snapped up, but I didn't allow myself to believe that she had agreed just yet.

"You need to know these things…you need to understand before you can decide," she continued.

Decide? Decide what?

My face must have shown the confusion I felt at her words, because she went on to explain what she meant. "Decide to join me, to become like me," she whispered.

I bit my lip to hold back the laugh that had sprung in my throat. That decision had been made long ago; I already had all the information I needed to make the choice to become a vampire. It was the only way to be with Bella forever, and that was all I'd needed to know.

"That's not why I want to see it," I murmured. "I want to because it's another side of you; I want to be a part of every aspect of your life, Bella."

She gazed at me for a long moment, absorbing my words.

"Let me think about it, okay? I do want to share this with you, but I can't bear it for you to be in any danger." The plea in her voice was clear; she wanted to give me what I wanted, but she needed me to understand why she might have to say no.

"All right. If this really is a problem for you, Bella, you don't have to say yes. I'm a big boy, I can take it." My 'big boy' claim was slightly ruined by my pout.

"Whatever you say, big boy," Bella said with a chuckle, glancing at the antique clock on the mantel. "How about we order you some dinner and watch a movie?"

The rumbling in my stomach answered with a resounding yes. "Sounds perfect."

"I remembered to feed you all on my own. Aren't you proud of how good I'm getting at tending to your human needs?" Bella called over her shoulder, laughing as she sauntered into the kitchen to retrieve a stack of take-out menus that we'd accumulated since I started spending so much time here.

I laughed along with her, basking in the sheer bliss of loving Bella.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

**Bella POV**

Edward fell asleep quickly. We'd been laying down all of five minutes when his breathing slowed into the soft sighs of slumber. I waited another twenty minutes to make sure he was sound asleep before I disentangled myself and quietly left the room.

I made my way to the kitchen before pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Alice?" The phone rang three times before she answered. Now there was something new.

"Is that a good idea, Bella?" Of course Alice already knew what I wanted to discuss with her.

"I don't know, Alice. Do you see anything? Will he be all right? He sounded like this is something he really wants, and I want to show him, but I'm afraid it's too risky." I didn't have to moderate the fear in my voice this time; even if I had tried, Alice would still know.

"Give me a second," she said.

I waited.

"Huh," was her reassuring reply.

I huffed in exasperation. "Care to elaborate?"

"If you stick with whatever decision you made, you two will be just fine. But you must have him stand at a distance at all times. And make sure to go north up the river, a quarter mile before the waterfall. And you're welcome," Alice said with distinct smugness in her voice.

"Once you're in Forks, speak to Carlisle about it. He'll help ease your fears as well," she continued.

"Thanks, Alice. I need to get back to Edward; say hello to Jasper for me."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you, too. I'll call you over the weekend," I said, and finished the call.

After speaking to Alice, I was cautiously optimistic.

I tossed my phone on the table and sat there for a long time running through every scenario. If I were being honest with myself, I'd say I was a bit excited to be taking Edward with me on a hunt.

My musings were interrupted by Edward's panicked voice.

"Bella!"

I ran back to the bedroom to find Edward half sitting up in bed, looking around, disoriented in the dark.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked as I cradled him to my chest. He clung to me forcefully as if I'd disappear into thin air if he didn't hold me here.

"I woke up, you were gone." His voice was muffled against my shirt.

The anxiety he exuded tore at me. For the hundredth time, I cursed the Volturi—and more specifically, Felix—for having stepped in at the worst possible time, forcing me to flit in and out of Edward's life, leaving him with the indelible impression that I wasn't something permanent, that I might leave him again at any moment.

"I'm sorry, love," I whispered as I kissed his hair. "I stepped out to call Alice, I didn't want to disturb you."

Edward's heartbeat slowly returned to its normal rate as I held him. Perhaps if I told him about my discussion with Alice, it would distract him.

"I asked her what she thought of your request." I didn't continue, waiting for his reaction.

Pulling himself out of my arms, he straightened up to look me in the eyes, his expression clearing into a small hopeful smile. "Really? What did she say?"

"She said it will be all right if we take certain precautions," I answered.

Edward's tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, his eyes suddenly hooded, darkened. Tangling his fingers in my hair, he brought my mouth to his with a hunger that matched my own. His breathing was labored, and every exhalation pushed his breath into my mouth. I sucked in the air that passed from his mouth into mine, taking into my lungs what had been in his. I felt the urge to crush his body to mine, but I found the will to control myself.

Edward had no such need for control. Wrapping his arms around me as tight as he could get them, he fell back on the bed, pulling me with him. I rested on his chest, our mouths still attached. The feel of his warm, wet tongue running over my lips was causing my entire body to tingle as if I'd just touched a live wire.

My eyes fell on his shoulder, and I knew I had to pull away. He'd been sleeping only in his pajama pants, shirtless, and the sight of his bare shoulder had me quivering with the effort to maintain my grasp on what little willpower I had to stop myself from sinking my teeth into my mate's flesh.

Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I disengaged from Edward's arms and sat up, holding my breath until I returned to my senses.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" Edward asked as he propped himself up on his elbows, furrowing his brow.

I raised a finger to indicate I needed a minute.

He remained silent, though I could feel his eyes watching me.

Finally, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Edward still looked at me with confusion evident on his face.

"I'm sorry about that. It was becoming…too much."

"What was?" Edward sat up on the bed, facing me, and reached for my hand.

How to explain this without frightening him?

"My kind have certain distinctive instincts that tend to surface in the heat of the moment," I began slowly.

Edward said nothing, just raised his eyebrows in question.

"Vampires tend to have the impulse to bite their mates in moments of passion," I explained in a small, embarrassed tone. "I had to stop because that urge was becoming overwhelming."

His eyes widened for a second, then he smiled. "Why would that be a bad thing?"

"Because if it didn't kill you, it would change you." He had to understand the implications of this. I couldn't allow him to desire my teeth on him—not yet, anyway. The last thing I needed was for him to encourage me to do it.

"Aren't you going to change me anyway? So what if it's now?" he asked. I obviously didn't get the point across.

"Not yet, Edward. You're not ready."

He dropped my hand and scooted away from me, leaning against the headboard, arms crossed, a sullen look on his face.

"I think I'd know myself whether I'm ready or not, thanks," he snarled.

Taking in his beautiful, angry face, a pang of sadness tugged at my heart. He wasn't ready; there were things he'd be giving up that he hadn't even stopped to consider yet.

"Have you thought about what would happen to your parents, your sister, if you were to suddenly disappear?" I said softly. I felt wretched for addressing an issue that was sure to hurt him, but ignoring it wouldn't do him any favors.

My suspicions were confirmed by the jolt of pain that flashed across his eyes. He really hadn't pondered the fact that joining me would mean leaving his family behind forever.

Edward lowered his arms, staring at his hands for a long moment before he spoke. "Yes, I've thought about it. Regardless of when we do this, the outcome is the same. I'll have to leave them, and I can't ever see them again." He raised his head, bringing his eyes level with mine, his jaw set, determined. "It doesn't matter. I'll miss them, of course, but my life, my future, is with you. I'll be gaining much more than what I'll be giving up, and I'll still have Jasper."

"We'll probably have to fake your deaths," I continued carefully.

Now that he really hadn't thought of. Shock and hurt made his shoulders slump, and he took a deep, steadying breath.

"It's the kindest option; it'll give them closure, something impossible if you were simply reported missing and they never knew what really happened to you and your brother." I reached for his hand as I intently assessed his expression, trying to determine his emotions.

My heart died all over again when I spotted the moisture slowly pooling in his eyes. I pulled on the hand I'd been holding to bring him close to me, gently pressing his body to mine.

"Do you see what I mean when I say you're not ready, my love?" I felt horribly selfish, tearing him away from his family, from the human life he knew, simply because I could no longer exist without him.

He breathed slowly and deeply, and the tears that had pooled in his eyes were never shed. He sat up straight, swiftly wiping his eyes.

"Sorry about that. I guess I just realized how much I'll miss my sister. But I guess I'm already without her; she's living in Europe with no prospects of coming back. I'll just be making the separation a little more definitive," he said with a sad, watery smile.

I was at a loss for how to best comfort him. I'd lost my father, but that had been so long ago I barely remembered it, and the pain of that loss had been greatly diminished by my mother's presence. A sliver of hope blossomed in my chest; perhaps Jasper would be as much of a comfort for Edward when the time came as mother had been to me.

A bright smile suddenly lit up Edward's face as he smacked a hand to his forehead. "I forgot to tell you! You'll get to meet Rosalie next week. My parents throw a Christmas party every year, and she'll be coming home for it, just for a few days. I can't wait for you to meet her, you'll love her. She one of the sweetest, smartest people I know, but she's a no-bullshit kind of girl, you know?"

He was babbling adorably about his sister, his spirits instantaneously lifted at the prospect of seeing her. His enthusiasm was infectious, but I had a concern that didn't seem to have occurred to him.

"Are you sure it's a good idea for me to come to this party, Edward?"

"What's the problem with that?" he asked, with the deflated look of a little boy who just had his cotton candy stolen. I wanted to kick myself for bursting his bubble.

I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. Is introducing me to your parents something you want to do?"

He stared at me as if I'd just spoken in ancient Greek. "Bella, I'd have taken you to meet them already if I hadn't suspected that you'd react exactly like you just did. There's nothing I would love more than to have them meet you. Besides, Emmett will be there. I'm sure you've missed him."

"Why didn't you lead with that? I would have said yes right away!" I joked.

Edward mock-glared at me.

"All right, all right." I raised my hands in surrender. "At least Alice will be happy. This means we're shopping next week." As if on cue, my phone buzzed with a new text, undoubtedly from Alice. She probably saw my decision and already began making plans.

Edward laughed at my pained expression; he knew how little love I had for shopping.

"You'd better get to sleep. We leave at six," I reminded him.

With a nod, he settled back on his pillow as I tucked the comforter around him.

"Stay with me?" he asked amidst a yawn.

"Always," I whispered, softly stroking his hair.

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**Edward POV**

Despite the small amount of sleep I got last night, I felt wide-awake.

We were in Bella's car headed for Forks, and it was all I could do to stop myself from bouncing on the seat in anticipation; we were going hunting as soon as we arrived. The grin I had plastered on my face was impossible to suppress.

The closer we got to Forks, the more excited I became. In the hopes of distracting myself before I spontaneously combusted in the car, I remembered my decision regarding my new choice of major.

"So, I've been thinking…" I began.

"Yes?" Bella glanced at me with a nod, inviting me to continue.

"I'm thinking about changing my major. I hate what I'm doing, I have since the first day." Damn, it felt so good to say this out loud.

"If you're unhappy, then you certainly must make a change. What would you like to study instead?" she asked.

"Music, maybe focus on composing. The transfer would be simple enough; I'd just have to go through the audition before they accept me. I'm a little rusty on the piano, though; I haven't played much since I left home, so I'm going to have to practice a lot, but I think I can pull it off." My fingers were drumming on my thighs, silently playing the piece I wanted to use for the audition.

"That's wonderful, Edward," Bella said with a pleased smile. "I know you'll do splendidly, and if there is anything I can do to help you, let me know."

"Can you carry a piano up to the fifth floor and get it through the door of my apartment?" I had to laugh at the mental image this conjured for me—tiny Bella carrying a piano on her back.

"I could, but I'm not sure one would fit in your apartment." She was serious; her face was scrunched in concentration, as if she were actually calculating the measurements of my apartment versus the size of a piano.

"I was kidding, Bella. Besides, I'm not even sure I'd be able to make it work for next semester. And then there's telling my dad…" That was the part that really worried me. He would be pretty fucking pissed, and that's putting it mildly.

"Do you think he will be against it?" Bella asked with a concerned frown.

"At the very least. He's been planning for me to join his law firm since I started high school. Edward Sr. is not one to take a change in his plans very well. I know he's going to be disappointed in me."

I knew what was coming with my dad. He won't shout, he won't scream. And that's what made it so much worse. He'll simply tell me that I let him down and that I'm making a mistake in a low, emotionless voice, and walk out of the room. Then I'll be treated to the Edward Sr. specialty: cold shoulder for months; monosyllabic answers, no eye contact, just distant, stony glares for the foreseeable future. What bothered me the most about his behavior was not so much the distance he would inevitably put between himself and me, but what his attitude did to my mother. She'd be a ball of anxiety whenever my dad and I were in the same room together, desperate to bridge the gap and get us to talk to each other. She hates it that my father is so ready to cause rifts in the family simply because things didn't go his way, and that killed mom every time.

The last time this happened, it had been unbearable. I was a junior in high school, and I'd had enough of the debate team that I'd joined as a freshman; I loathed everything about it. My father had been pleased when I followed his advice to join—debating and arguing skills were very important for a litigator, which of course I would become. Just like daddy. When I told him I was quitting…Fuck, I felt the temperature in the house drop immediately just from the icy look on Senior's face. Living with the man back then, having to put up with his disdain day in and day out was pure fucking torture. It was months before he spoke an entire sentence to me.

In all honesty, the prospect of having my father hate me for my decision didn't bother me all that much; soon enough, I'd be gone from my family's lives for good. The tightening in my chest was caused by the thought of my mother having to bear Senior's displeasure. He was cold and detached enough under normal circumstances, but something like this usually made him even worse, and my mother could hardly stand it. She needed warmth.

I let my head rest against the chilly glass as I stared unseeingly out the window. My thoughts kept going around in circles, but I couldn't see a way in this situation that would make everyone happy.

Bella's voice pulled me out of my reverie. "We're here." She gave me a hesitant smile, squeezing my hand briefly before walking out of the car. Esme and Carlisle stood on the porch, waiting for us.

"Edward, dearest, we've missed you," Esme said as she enveloped me in her arms. It still awed me that such cold, hard arms could deliver such a gentle hug.

"It's good to see you, son." Carlisle held out his hand to me when Esme finally let me go, grasping mine with both of his.

"It's great to see you guys, too," I said. I really had missed them. Esme and Carlisle were so affectionate; it was hard not to feel entirely at ease around them. I felt a slight tug in my chest when I realized that my own parents weren't so accepting.

"You still owe me a rematch," Carlisle said with a laugh, and I joined him with a snicker of my own. Against all odds—and despite Jasper undermining the shit out of me—I still beat Carlisle when we played chess in Alaska. I just kept getting an inkling of what move he would make next, and blocked him at every turn.

"You up for another beating?" Fine, so I was a little smug about it. He's a vampire, he's supposed to be infinitely smarter than any human, and little ol' human me bested him at chess. Too bad I can't brag about it to just anyone.

"Not going to happen!" Carlisle looked confident. _We'll see about that_.

Bella had walked inside with her mother, arm in arm, heads bent close together in whispered conversation. I suddenly remembered our plans for this morning, and I my stomach did a somersault.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring look. It was clear he knew what we were going to do.

"It'll be all right, son. If anyone has the control to do this safely, it's Bella."

I swallowed hard, nodding at his words, afraid that if I spoke, my voice would betray my anxiety.

Carlisle clapped me on the shoulder once, and turned to walk into the house.

Bella came outside then, holding a scarf and a wool hat. Her eyes were as black as the scarf in her hands, and I was instantly hypnotized by their dark depths. She didn't blink as she held my gaze. I forgot where I was. I forgot my name.

"Ready?" She held out the items as if asking permission to put them on me.

I nodded slowly.

She put the hat on my head, pulling it down snugly around my ears, and draped the scarf over my neck, using it to pull me to her so she could plant a kiss on my mouth before she wrapped the lower part of my head and tucked the ends into my jacket. Now she could only see my eyes.

Taking my hand, she led me a few yards away from the house and stopped, turning to face me.

"Edward, here are the rules. We'll run until I catch a scent. When I stop and leave you in a spot, you do not move from it, understand?" I nodded silently. "Move as little as possible, and be as quiet as you can. And whatever you do, _do not run_. I cannot stress that last part enough. Be still."

I cocked my head in confusion. "Why can't I run?"

She bit her lip and looked uneasy. "Hunter's instinct…the chase… You cannot run." Her eyes burned into mine.

"I won't, I promise." I would have promised her anything right now if it meant she wouldn't change her mind.

She bowed her head, accepting my promise. Turning her back to me, she held out her arms as invitation for me to climb on. Her arms would then clamp down on my legs, securing me in place.

I didn't hesitate. I wrapped my legs around her and draped my arms around her shoulders, and a familiar tingling heat spread through my groin and down my legs.

Bella grabbed one of my wrists, holding it against her nose, and sniffed deeply, exhaling with a soft, guttural sigh. My legs squeezed her tighter.

And we were running. She took off flying through the forest, doing the jumping on the trees thing that I loved. We ran for over an hour before she slowed down.

With me still on her back, Bella jogged for a little while until I could hear the sound of rushing water. I figured we must be near a creek or a river.

She came to a stop near enough the water, but just far enough to have it out of sight, and lowered me to my feet. We were standing next to some sort of rock formation that I guessed led to the riverbed. I tried to pull down on the scarf that covered my mouth to kiss her, but she held my hand, shaking her head. She knew what I wanted.

"No, Edward. I can't have your taste in my mouth right now."

My face being mostly hidden by the scarf and the hat low on my head, it was easy enough to hide my disappointment, but I understood what she meant. Maybe tasting me right before a hunt wouldn't the best idea.

She looked up at me, still holding my gloved hand. Her eyes were entirely dark now, no hint of the gold I was used to. Bella removed the light jacket she had been wearing and handed it to me, leaving her with only a sleeveless dark blue shirt.

"Remember what I said. Do not move from this spot, and whatever you do, _do not run_."

"Don't worry," I assured her, my voice muffled by the scarf.

She smiled at me and, without another word, turned around and walked a few dozen feet towards a thicket of trees.

I heard the sound at the same time she did—a low, rumbling growl coming from somewhere above us. Before I could blink, Bella was crouched, her eyes raking the trees looking for the source of the sound. I followed the direction of her stare and noticed something moving on the tree to her right. Several feet from the ground, a mountain lion sat on a thick bough. It had already spotted Bella and kept its eyes glued to her every move.

Too fast for me to notice, Bella had gotten up the tree and now stood on the same bough as the lion that started to snarl, hoping to assert itself as the more dangerous predator. Bella crouched, staring into the big cat's eyes, never flinching at its roars.

A small bubble of panic began rising in my throat before I realized how stupid it was and squashed it down. While that lion could do a number on me, I doubted it could even scratch Bella's diamond-hard skin, but I couldn't help fearing for her safety and wanting to protect her, no matter how ridiculous my concerns might be.

The mountain lion, realizing that its attempts to intimidate Bella had failed since she wasn't backing down, decided to turn tail and run. It tried to leap off the tree onto the ground, and that was when Bella pounced. She had her slender arms wrapped powerfully around the animal's torso as they crashed to the frozen ground, pinning it in place immediately. Her lips parted and, with one swift sweep of her head to toss her hair out of the way, she sank her teeth into the lion's neck. Its growls grew feeble until it finally fell silent.

Bella drank hungrily, and in that moment, she was nothing like the Bella I knew, yet I still recognized her in the grace of her movements, the delicate curve of her neck. Her eyelids had slid shut as she drank, and the pleasure on her face was evident.

I had thought about this moment a hundred times, long before I even dreamed of asking Bella to bring me along on a hunt, and tried to imagine how I would feel if I ever got to see it. I thought it would be intense, but nothing could have prepared me for the maelstrom that churned inside of me now.

Before me was a perfect hunter, a predator sure of her place at the top of the food chain. The power and flowing grace with which she subdued the lion so easily took my breath away. A tiny part of my brain registered that it should be disturbing to watch someone drinking an animal's blood, but I couldn't even entertain that thought.

As I stood watching Bella sate her thirst, mesmerized by her, I felt the bindings of my most primal instincts come apart. Maybe this was something that would happen anyway when I became a vampire, but I was being overtaken right now by the compulsion to join Bella, to go to her, throw her on the forest floor and ravish her. I was trembling with the effort of staying in place. I gripped her jacket in my hands so hard I thought I might rip it. I wanted to fuck her like an animal.

Like she knew what I was thinking, Bella's eyes snapped to where I stood, and a stab of fear shot down my spine. Her eyes were molten caramel again, but when they locked mine in their steely gaze, they were not the eyes of my Bella—they were the eyes of a predator staring down its prey, dripping with bloodlust. I was entranced—I couldn't look away.

It lasted but a few seconds, and then her expression softened; she looked slightly abashed. I didn't know whether it was safe to move now, so I held my place. Bella raised a finger as if to indicate she needed a minute, picked up the carcass of her meal and ran into the forest.

She was back merely a minute later, walking slowly towards me and wiping broken leaves off the front of her pants. She stopped in front of me, pulling down the scarf from my face. I hadn't noticed until now how much my mouth was watering; I swallowed convulsively.

The second her fingers touched my skin as she removed the scarf, I lost it. I threw myself on her, crashing my lips to hers, starved for closeness. I kissed her avidly, pressing her to me so tightly my arms hurt, as if I could fuse our bodies together. She tasted of cherries, but as my tongue danced on hers, it picked up a slightly metallic, earthy taste, and when I registered what it was—_blood_—my frenzy intensified. My breath caught in my throat as I pressed my hips against hers, desperate to bury myself in her.

A gentle pressure on my shoulders was inexorably pushing me away from her, and I opened my eyes to see her hands holding me back. "Edward, love, we have to stop."

Her face looked much like mine must have—crazed with wanting. Her control was better than mine, though; if she hadn't stopped me, I wouldn't have been able to.

I nodded, a little embarrassed by my less than gentlemanly manhandling of her. "I'm sorry, Bella. I couldn't help it…I don't know what came over me."

She smiled softly. "I do. And when we hunt together with you as a vampire, we won't have to stop," she said with a mischievous wink.

Fuck… Bite me now!

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Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the living room when we got back to the house, and the looks of relief they exchanged told me that what Bella and I had just done might have been a little more dangerous than they let on. They looked to Bella, obviously anxious to speak to her, so I thought I'd make myself scarce.

"I'm running up to take a shower, Bella."

She still held my hand, and walked with me towards the bottom of the stairs. "All right. I'll take you into town for something to eat once you're done, if you'd like."

"Sounds good. See you in a few," I said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before taking the stairs.

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The Cullens lived a little ways outside of Forks proper; though I'd been to their home a few times, we'd never really gone into town before. As Bella and I drove to the diner, I could now see how small a town this really was. The street where the diner was located looked like every Main St. in every small town across the US—a short strip of one story buildings with the basic smattering of commerce: bank, diner, mom-and-pop grocery store, a clothing store that hasn't had its styles updated since the 60's, hardware store, and a drugstore. I wasn't used to small towns, but this place felt oddly appealing.

The diner was much as I expected. Outdated—if my hair had been greased back and I wore a 50's black leather jacket, I'd fit right in—but clean and cozy. We chose a booth in the back, and I set about inspecting the menu—I was suddenly ravenous. One look at it and I found out it was all comfort food, top to bottom. Not a single leafy salad in sight. _Excellent._ I was suddenly reminded of Tanya's fit over my order of pancakes for breakfast once. She'd have a conniption in this place. I smiled at the thought.

Bella sat across from me, silently playing with my fingers on the tabletop. Glancing at the counter, she noticed a Native American waitress making her way over to take our order. One of her hands left mine to pick up a menu, which she proceeded to examine intently, head bent low on it as if she needed to read it up close.

The waitress looked older, maybe in her fifties, though her long black hair hardly had any gray in it. Sue, her nametag read.

"Hi, folks, what can I get you?" She said, looking first to Bella, who never looked up from her menu, and then me.

I knew Bella wouldn't be eating anything, so I didn't wait for her to speak before rattling off my order. Sue wrote it down and turned to Bella.

"What about you, miss?"

Bella replaced the laminated menu on the rack against the wall and turned to our server with a sweet smile. "I'll just have a coffee, thank you."

Sue's dark complexion went pale as her eyes widened and she gasped. She was looking at Bella as though she had seen a ghost. A beat later and her eyes narrowed, her lips tight as she said, "I'll be right back with your drinks."

I had no idea what the hell was going on.

Once the waitress was out of earshot, I turned to Bella. "Do you know that woman?" I whispered, leaning over the table.

Bella let out a gusty sigh before she answered. "Not really. I know of her, as undoubtedly she knows of me. She's Quileute, from the La Push tribe. It's a little reservation fifteen minutes outside of Forks. They have legends about…us."

"_Vampires?" _I mouthed the word to her, afraid to be overheard.

Bella nodded.

"They know what you are?" I think my mouth was hanging open. I was too dumbfounded to be sure.

"Not really. They suspect, because of their legends. Of course, they're correct, but they don't know that. The Quileute people are very superstitious. They don't even allow their people to go to the hospital for treatment because of Carlisle working there," Bella shrugged as she explained this, as if it didn't really matter.

"Is that why you ordered a coffee? To throw her off?"

Bella smiled. "That, and I like the smell. It tastes foul, but I like the warmth of the cup and the smell of it."

Sue was back with our drinks then. She set them on the table and mumbled, "Your food will be out in a moment." It seemed as though she refused to look at Bella, but when her eyes rested on me, I could have sworn she looked at me with pity, like I was dying or something.

Bella must have noticed, because she openly rolled her eyes at the old woman. Once she walked away, I raised my eyebrows in question.

"She probably thinks I'm having _you_ for lunch," Bella growled, too low for anyone else to hear.

"I wish," I said with an exaggerated sigh and a dreamy look.

Bella snorted delicately, shaking her head. "You're impossible."

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We spent the rest of the weekend lazing around the big house. I'd never been here without Alice and Jasper before, and it was eerily quiet without them.

On Sunday afternoon, Bella and her mother disappeared into Esme's studio for a couple of hours. When I made to follow them inside, Bella stopped me at the door.

"I think Carlisle wants you in his study, love. He's got the chessboard all set up," Bella said, pointing at a set of large oak double doors down the hall.

I got the distinct impression she was hiding something, and she must have realized I was on to her when my eyes narrowed in suspicion. She kissed me briefly on the lips, and muttered, "Go play with Carlisle. I love you." She blew me a kiss with her fingertips and closed the door.

Carlisle and I settled down at the chess table in his study. As I made the opening gambit, I tried to find out from Carlisle what Bella and Esme were being so secretive about. I was pretty sure he could hear whatever they were saying.

"So, do you know what Bella and Esme are up to?" I asked casually, trying to sound disinterested. He saw right through me, however, as he laughed while countering my move.

"I haven't the faintest idea," Carlisle said with a grin that meant _of course I know, but they'll have my head if I tell you_.

"Humph." I decided to let it go for now.

The match was fast and ferocious, and Carlisle beat me this time, though only barely. I made a couple of disastrous moves that I hadn't noticed until it was too late.

"Good game, Edward," Carlisle said amiably as I scowled at his checkmate. "Who taught you to play?"

"My father. He tried to teach Jasper and Rosalie as well, but they lost interest." Those evenings with my dad were some of the few fond memories I had of him. A few nights a week, after dinner, he would set up the board in the living room and we'd play. During those times, he wasn't the overly critical, stern Edward Masen, Sr.; when we played together, just the two of us, he was simply dad.

Carlisle nodded in appreciation. "He taught you well."

"My father loves chess. It's all strategy, and that's one thing my father prizes above all. If I didn't know better, I'd say he almost had fun when we played," I laughed. As one of the top litigators in the state, my father's reputation was legendary for the flawless strategies he devised for every lawsuit. He rarely lost a case.

If Carlisle picked up on the sadness in my voice as I spoke of my father, he made no indication of it. Talking about him had gotten me anxious again about his reaction to my plans for school; my stomached clenched painfully.

Cocking his head towards the window, Carlisle's face brightened at something he heard. "Hmm. I guess Alice and Jasper are dropping by for an unexpected visit."

"Are they here?" I hadn't heard a car pull up or even a door open.

"Not yet, but they will be in a few minutes. A Porsche just turned off the highway into our road."

My jaw slackened a little at that. I still hadn't gotten entirely used to the super enhanced vampire abilities yet.

"Shall we go down and wait for them?" Carlisle said with a sweeping hand towards the door.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Alice and Jasper walked through the front door hand in hand.

We all exchanged greetings, and Carlisle's cell buzzed as he shook Jasper's hand.

"Excuse me." He wandered towards to kitchen as he pulled the phone from his pocket.

"Hey, Jazz. Didn't expect to see you 'til tomorrow, man," I said as we grasped hands and bumped shoulders.

"Yeah, we were headed back to Seattle, but Alice wanted to stop by and see everyone since you and Bella were still here. How was your weekend?" Jasper asked as he plopped down on the couch. I sat down across from him while Alice flitted upstairs, probably to see Bella and Esme.

Insane? Amazing? Unreal? Fantastic? I couldn't find the words. I settled for, "Great. How was yours?"

"Good, good…" Jasper answered distractedly, his eyes drifting towards the staircase.

Just then, Bella and Alice came down with Esme close behind.

"Alice, for the last time, I'm not going to New York for shopping. Christmas is next week," Bella whined.

"But this is different! There are extenuating circumstances, the decision was made after all my shopping was done, and—" Alice looked crestfallen. I'd feel bad for her, but I've heard enough from Bella about Alice's shopping expeditions to know that I'd rather chew on my own leg than get wrangled into one of those.

"I'm sure we can find everything you want in Seattle," Bella cut her off. "Besides, I still need to go to Alaska on Wednesday for two days; I'm not spending any more time away then I absolutely have to."

This seemed to silence Alice, though it didn't stop her from pouting as though Bella had just announced that Christmas had been canceled.

"Fine. Tuesday, then. But you're mine for the entire day." Alice's tone promised there would be trouble if Bella refused. I stifled a laugh at her serious expression. I'd seen the pile of packages stacked sky-high at their apartment, and I couldn't imagine what else Alice needed to buy.

Bella sighed in defeat, walking towards me. "Very well, Alice. Tuesday." I held my arms open for her as she approached, and she buried her face on my chest. I stroked her back gently, hoping to soothe her. Alice was great, but she could be a little too much sometimes.

Jasper and Alice followed Esme into the kitchen, leaving Bella and me alone in the living room. "What else could she possibly need to buy?" I muttered into Bella's hair.

"She refuses to meet your sister without Christmas gifts for her," Bella said with a small smile. "And since she hadn't decided to come until after Alice had finished all her shopping—which was probably in July—we must go back out and brave the stores again." A chuckle escaped me at her martyred expression.

"My poor Bella," I whispered, touching my lips to hers.

She sighed contentedly, melting into my arms. "I'll live."

* * *

**A/N: So, Edward got to see Bella hunt! Methinks he liked what he saw. ;)**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, so leave me a review. Edward will pout if you don't. :,(**

**A million thanks to my super beta, AnakinSmom! **

**Thanks for reading. **


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

**Bella POV**

Alice's eyes slid out of focus for a second before she put back the yellow gold earrings she was holding, a subtle scowl on her face. "No, she'll hate those."

The same exercise had been going all day since the stores opened. Alice would zero in on something she thought Rosalie might like, pick it up and decide to give it to her as a present, then get a vision of Rosalie's reaction. It was a lengthy process that seemed to be more trouble than it was worth; shopping for someone you had never met was challenging, but this didn't apply to Alice.

I had never quite been able to grasp the true dimensions of the reality in which Alice lived. In her mind, she wasn't selecting a gift for someone she'd never met—the dozens of visions she has had of interactions with Rosalie gave Alice the notion that she already knew Edward and Jasper's sister and, to Alice, they were already friends. The memory of visions and events that actually happened swirled together in a collage that made up Alice's perception of what was real.

So when Alice settled on the Ferragamo purse, announcing brightly that Rosalie would love it, I couldn't really tell her it was much too extravagant a gift coming from a complete stranger. As far as Alice was concerned, she had spent plenty of time with Rosalie, even if the memories she had of those times were just of visions that have yet to come to pass. She usually didn't differentiate between the two, which often had everyone around her scrambling to keep up.

"Thank heavens. Are we done?" It was late afternoon already and I hoped to have a few hours with Edward before leaving for Alaska in the morning.

"Yes, Bella. Now we are done," Alice declared as she handed the sales lady her credit card.

I exhaled in relief, wandering around the store while I waited for Alice to pay for her purchases. A beautiful display of assorted cashmere pieces caught my eye, and I made my way to it.

The items turned out to be men's gloves, hats, and scarves in matching sets. Picking up a scarf for closer inspection, I noted it was made of cashmere and silk, and it felt feather-light on my skin. A memory of tucking a scarf around Edward's face ran unbidden through my mind, and I smiled at the thought of him. I'd already secured his Christmas gifts, but I was about to buy one more.

Browsing the available colors, I came upon a slate gray set, and selected that one. As I came up behind Alice, she reached for the set with a silent smile, handing it to the lady behind the counter along with the credit card she still held in her hand. She had probably seen my decision to make this purchase and kept her credit card in her hand to expedite our check out.

"Great choice with the Hermès; it'll look great on him," she gushed as we made our way back to my car.

I nodded, smiling at her. "Edward was in need of more running gear." It was our own private joke; "running gear" for Edward consisted of items that would keep him warm and protected from the wind that whipped around his face as I ran with him through the forest.

I placed the shopping bags in the trunk while Alice got in the car. "Are you coming back to the apartment, or do you want me to drop you off at Jasper's dorm?" I asked over the purr of the starting engine.

"Jasper's, please." I nodded in acknowledgement and headed for the dorm. She was probably going there to give Edward and me some time alone before our upcoming two-day separation. These weekly trips to Alaska were starting to take their toll, not only on me, but on Edward as well. Being apart was painful, and the entire time I was away, I was consumed with longing.

"Will you be all right to receive Edward's gift on your own? It should be here on Friday, but I doubt I'll have returned before it arrives," I asked her as I pulled up outside Jasper's building.

Alice gave an exaggerated sigh. "Of course. Don't worry about a thing," she said with a soothing pat on my hand.

She leaned over to give me a brief hug, wishing me a safe trip before she exited the car. We wouldn't see each other again until I returned.

I hugged her back and planted a light kiss to her hair. "See you Friday, Alice. Watch over him for me."

Alice winked at me and skipped off towards the front door, eager to get to her love.

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Edward was in the kitchen fixing himself a snack when I arrived at the apartment; he looked up from his plate to offer me a delighted smile as I entered the room. I quickly made my way to where he stood, wrapping my arms around him, and buried my nose in his neck. Alice had kept me out with her all day, and I'd missed Edward terribly.

His arms encircled me, and I felt his nose nuzzle my face, prompting me to turn so he had access to my lips; I acquiesced immediately. As he touched his lips to mine, his hand came up my back to nestle in my hair and his body pressed flush against mine. A shiver of pleasure rippled through me at the warmth of him.

"I missed you today," he whispered without breaking contact. "How was your shopping trip?"

"Delightful," I answered, with a hint of sarcasm.

Edward's chuckle vibrated on my chest; we still stood in each other's arms. I disentangled myself from him and pointed at the food he had been preparing. "How about you finish getting this ready and we can watch a movie while you eat?" I suggested.

As I took a step back to allow him space, he stepped with me, unwilling to have any distance between us. "I'm hungry for something else," he said, his voice husky, as he bent over to kiss me again.

With enormous effort, I leaned away from him. It felt wrong to move in any direction away from Edward when every last cell in my body needed to touch him. "Behave," I chastised him with a smile. "Besides, you need to eat. I'll go pick out a movie while you finish here." His adorable scowl followed me out of the kitchen.

I had just finished starting the fireplace when Edward settled on the couch. Sitting down next to him, I picked up the remote control to start the movie as he spoke.

"My mother called earlier today; she said Rosalie will be here on Thursday morning, so Jasper and I are going to our parents' tomorrow to help mom get everything ready. We'll probably just stay there through Christmas so we can spend more time with Rose," Edward said and took a bite of his food.

"All right. I should be back Friday night, so I will probably not see you until your parents' party on Saturday." I was slightly disappointed that Edward wouldn't be here when I returned, but I could hardly begrudge him time with his sister. He seldom saw her, and I knew he missed her.

"You'll call me, right?" Edward asked, a slight anxious edge to his voice.

"Of course I will, love," I assured him. It was plain in his eyes that my going away bothered him. "I think I'll skip Alaska next week, and stay here between Christmas and New Year's. What say you?"

His smile was answer enough. "That would be fantastic. Rose is leaving on the 26th; she's spending New Year's in London with some friends, so after that, I'm all yours."

"Splendid. It's settled, then." Just knowing I wouldn't be away from him after tomorrow's trip gave me a small measure of comfort.

Edward set his food aside and wrapped an arm over my shoulder, tucking me close to his side. I started the movie then, perfectly at peace with the world.

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**Edward POV**

"Edward, sweetheart, you need to stop at the dry cleaners to pick up the suits on your way here this afternoon. I dropped them off on Monday and they should be ready. I also need you to go by the florist and check on my order for twelve dozen white lilies, twelve dozen red roses, as well as the lily bloom centerpieces. Oh, I almost forgot! There's also the—"

"Mom, the party is Saturday night! It's only Wednesday, there's plenty of time," I groaned, burying my face in the t-shirt that I had wrapped around my pillow. I'd taken to sleeping in Bella's apartment almost every night, especially during the time she went to Alaska, and though I'd never admit it—not even under torture—every time Bella was away, I'd sneak one of her t-shirts out of the dresser and stuff my pillow in it. I missed her so fucking much, but the smell of her helped me relax, so when she was gone, I had to make do.

"Edward, this is important! You know how your father gets if everything isn't perfect. Which reminds me, he needs you to pick up his order from La Spéciale; the brandy is in. You know how he and Alistair like to lock themselves up in his study with that expensive brandy and their smelly cigars…"

On, and on, and on it went. I woke up from a bad night of sleep to my mother's phone call. She gave me enough things to do that would require five people to get it done in the amount of time I had to do it in, which meant I had to get Jasper's ass out of bed at 9 a.m. Fuck my life.

My unshaven, disheveled face met Alice's perky one when I poked my head in my brother's dorm room. My sleepless night showed in the bags under my eyes, which I could tell Alice had noticed by her frown and her ill-disguised 'tsk.' I had expected to find Jasper still snoring away, and it shocked me to find him sitting on his bed, awake and fully dressed. Alice must have seen me coming to get him. I think it took me longer to pry the two of them apart than it would have to get Jasper up and running.

"See you Saturday, Alice," I drawled as I dragged Jasper behind me. Alice said nothing, merely giggling at us with a last look of longing for Jasper.

While I felt wretched that I was to be without Bella until the party, I could hardly blame Alice and my brother. I knew all too well how they felt.

Out first stop was the flower shop. After making sure mom's order was all set for delivery on Saturday morning, we picked up Jasper's and my suits that mom had the foresight to have dry-cleaned. We so seldom wore anything other than jeans and t-shirts—and the occasional button-down—that the suits were bound to smell like moldy ass after being stuck in the closet for so long, hardly ever seeing the light of day.

We were running errands the entire day all over the city, and by the time dinnertime came, Jasper and I were exhausted. I drove us back to our parents' house where we would be staying until the weekend. A delicious smell wafted towards us as we entered the house, and my mouth was instantly watering. I headed straight for the kitchen to find my mother pulling some sort of soufflé out of the oven.

"Dinner will be ready in ten, darling," she said, kissing me on the cheek. "Where's your brother?"

"With dad, I think." My voice was muffled by the dinner roll I had stuck in my mouth whole.

"Manners, Edward. Don't speak with your mouth full." Dear ol' ma, always a stickler for etiquette. The reprimand was softened by the small smile she wore as she delivered it.

"Sorry." I grinned at her hand smacking my wrist as I reached down for a second roll.

"Leave some for the rest of us!"

Her laughter followed me out of the kitchen. She was in a great mood, and not even my stealing half the dinner food would spoil it, I knew it. Mom was elated that Rosalie was flying in tomorrow morning. So was I.

Dinner was the usual affair at the Masen household. Dad disappeared behind the newspaper as he ate, and mom engaged Jasper and me in conversation.

"Edward, don't forget, Rosalie's flight gets in at eight, so you should be there at least half an hour earlier," mom was saying.

I was about to remind her of the fact that, since it was an international flight, Rosalie wouldn't be coming out to the terminal for at least thirty minutes after her plane landed; there were passport checks, customs rifling through bags, the usual deal of flying in from abroad. The look in her eyes made the words die in my throat before I could say them, though—she just looked so overjoyed that her only daughter would be home tomorrow, I couldn't bring myself to pop her bubble.

"Yes, mom, I'll be there bright and early," I agreed dutifully. Her answering smile was worth it. My mother's happiness right now was infectious, and I found myself sharing in her contentment, even though a piece of my heart—a giant piece, at that— was missing. I wished Bella were here.

A slight movement to my right caught my attention. My dad had lowered his newspaper to refill his wine glass, and it was the perfect opportunity for me to pounce.

"So, dad, has mom told you about the flower arrangements for the party? Jasper and I saw them this morning when we went to the florist; they're something else." I turned to mom with an encouraging smile. "You should tell him, ma. You did a great job picking those out."

Edward Sr. stared at me as if he had just looked up from his food to find a talking horse sitting at his table. It was ironic, really. The man was a great conversationalist, so skillful at working a room full of people at any party or gathering, yet you'd never guess it by the way he always sat in stony silence every time he was around his own family.

"Thank you, sweetheart," my mother said, beaming at my praise. Turning to my father, she continued, "Yes, Edward, the arrangements are quite lovely. I'm sure you'll be pleased with the decorations." And she launched into a more detailed explanation of what they entailed exactly.

The unconcealed look of boredom on Senior's face made me want to pick up the gravy boat and dump it on his head. The man _never_ talked to mom, and that's all she asked for—a little attention. Was that so fucking hard? But he couldn't be bothered to at least pretend to listen to what she had to say. Unless the conversation was law-related, the asshole turned deaf.

Irony number two. It was something that few people knew because she quit so long ago, but my mother, too, was an attorney, and a brilliant one. That was actually how they met—in their last year of law school. They were married shortly after graduating, and mom went into family law while dad pursued litigation, working at different law offices. She had been quickly climbing the ladder at her firm when she found herself pregnant with Rose. She worked until after my sister was born, but she quit soon after. Going back to practicing law had always been the plan, but then I came along, and two years later, Jasper was born, and the opportunity to return to work just passed her by.

My father subtly encouraged my mom to stay at home with the kids. By then, he was highly successful and we didn't need her income; it was easy for her to go along with it at the time—she'd wanted to be home with her children. But as we grew up and didn't need her so much anymore, she thought it was time to go back. Senior thought differently.

I remember the fights they had about it when I was little. They'd argue in hushed, angry whispers when they thought we were asleep, but I wasn't. And I heard them.

"_Elizabeth, be reasonable. You've been away from the firm for what, ten years now? Your knowledge is entirely outdated, you would be no good at it." _

"_But Edward, I can study and catch up, the law hasn't changed that much, and I never lost any of my skills. I just feel so useless… Now with Jasper starting school, I just sit around all day. The time is right for me to start working again," my mother pleaded. I snuck out of my bed to peek out the door. As long as I didn't turn on any lights, they wouldn't see me here._

_My room was the closest to theirs, across the hall. Their bedroom door was ajar, and I could see dad standing in front of the dresser taking off his cufflinks, his back to mom. "You'd do better to stay at home. The children are still young, they still need you," my father countered. He was hitting her where it was sure to make an impact—her love and dedication to my siblings and me. _

_Mom's face was momentarily hidden from view, but I could imagine how it'd look. Her eyebrows would be slanted downward, and she'd be pursing her lips to keep from crying; I could hear it in her tone. "I can work part-time, I'd still be home when they returned from school. I could do some good while still taking care of the children, Edward. I wouldn't be abandoning them." Her voice was low, defeated, offended by his implications. She was arguing her point, but the way she spoke revealed that she knew she'd already lost._

There had been more arguments like that, but they became scarcer as time passed until mom gave up altogether. Elizabeth Masen, once brilliant up and coming attorney, reduced to housewifery permanently. My father managed to stamp out of her the one thing they had in common that they both loved so dearly. It was as though he forced her down, and in succeeding, he lost all respect for her.

My heart broke as I remembered the potential she once had, now watching her talk about flower arrangements and centerpieces, and suddenly I felt like a sack of shit. All she wanted was some attention, someone to talk to, but Jasper and I had been too wrapped up in our own lives to dedicate any time to her. She'd had Rosalie, but now she was gone, too, and I was too much of a self-centered asshole to take time out of my "busy schedule" to truly make time for my mother. Even when I came over for Tuesday dinners, I was never really here; my mind wandered and I barely paid attention to anything she said.

Realization hit me with the force of a bulldozer running on jet fuel. _I was no better than my father._ Bile rose in my throat at the thought.

"—weren't they, darling?" mom was saying to me. She was looking at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry, mom, I didn't catch that." Her words snapped me out of my reverie; my dad still had that bored look on his stupid face, as if this whole thing was beneath him.

"The centerpieces with the lily blooms, the ones I ordered; you saw them earlier today. Weren't they perfect?" Mom wore a smile as she asked for my confirmation, as though this was the greatest accomplishment of her life—picking out the perfect fucking centerpiece. For the first time, I paid attention to her eyes as she spoke; the color in them still sparkled like jewels, but there was nothing behind the grass-green veneers. Whatever made Elizabeth Masen the woman she had been seemed to have been long extinguished.

"Yes, they're beautiful, mom. You'll like them, dad." My words bounced off the folded newspaper in front of Senior's face—he'd already gone back to reading. I couldn't explain why that infuriated me to a boiling point; all I knew was that it did.

My anger propelled me out of my chair, and I leaned over to snatch the paper from his hands.

"Mom wasn't done talking to you, _dad,_" I spat, my lips curling with disdain around the word 'dad.' The rage I felt was blinding; I was furious with him for ignoring her, but also furious at myself for having followed in his footsteps without even noticing what I'd been doing. Suddenly, I knew my decision to steer clear of law school and pursue music was the right one. The mere idea of following in any more of his footsteps filled me with disgust. _I will _not_ be like him._

Edward Sr. simply looked at me, unfazed, as though I were a child throwing a tantrum and he was waiting for me to be done. "My paper, please." He didn't raise his voice, or even sound mad; he just held his hand out for the newspaper that was now crumpled in mine.

His calm demeanor only served to fan the flames of my outrage; I balled up the paper and threw it into the living room. Senior simply sighed, still unruffled.

By now, I just wanted to get a reaction out of him, anything to prove that the fucker was at least _human_.

In my rage, I blurted out the words without stopping to think them through. "By the way, I'm quitting business school. Oh, and not going to law school, either. I'm switching my major to music as soon as I can work out the transfer and do the audition. Just thought you should know."

Edward Senior rewarded me with a frown. _Finally, a facial expression. The son of a bitch is alive after all._ "Why would you do something so stupid?" he asked quietly.

Jasper was looking between my father and me; his face was conflicted, but he knew better than to interfere. Shit always rolled downhill and he was bound to get caught in the crossfire.

"Edward, honey, maybe we should talk about this." Mom's face was worried, her voice strained. _Shit._ This was not how I planned on telling them; I hadn't even truly decided whether to tell them _at all_. Depending on how soon Bella would change me, there wouldn't even be a point in going through this bullshit with my dad, but my mouth had a habit of running miles ahead of my brain, effectively blowing my option to stay quiet about it right out of the water.

Now that I'd let the cat out of the bag, I'd be damned if I was going to back down. "It's only stupid because it's not your plan for me. I'm fucking tired of not being in control of my own future, and it ends now!" I growled. His composed, almost pleasant expression only angered me more.

"If you're so intent on flushing your life down the toilet, be warned that I will not be paying for it. You want to waste your future? Very well, but I won't help you do it," Senior said, pulling the napkin off his lap and folding it with meticulous care.

"I don't need your fucking money. Grandpa left me plenty, I can more than afford school on my own." Grandpa Holdsworth, my maternal grandfather, had been a wealthy man, and he left my siblings and me hefty trust funds before he died, which was how I could afford to live in my own apartment off campus with no need for a job. My father knew this, so why he thought his threat of not paying my tuition anymore was worth a damn, I had no idea.

Senior finally set down his perfectly folded napkin on the table and steepled his fingers, turning his cold eyes on me. "You're a disappointment, Edward." His voice held no inflection, no emotion. It didn't even sound like he meant it as an insult, just a statement of fact, and that made it all the more hurtful.

I'd had enough. "Fuck you, _dad," _were my parting words before I stormed off to my bedroom.

"Edward…" my mother called softly behind me, but she couldn't reach me in the dimension of pissed off in which I found myself.

"Leave him be, Elizabeth. You've coddled him enough," Senior said. I almost turned around when I heard him chastise my mother for giving a shit about me, but I feared that if I went back to the dining room, I'd end up punching the bastard.

I slammed the door behind me, panting as though I'd run a marathon. "Fuck! Fuck!" I was still seething, with no outlet for my rage. Pacing back and forth like a caged animal, my eyes fell on the glass trophy sitting on my old desk—I'd gotten it when my debate team won the state tournament. On an impulse, I grabbed it and hurled it across the room, where it hit the wall and shattered into a million tiny pieces. I felt a grim satisfaction at the sound of the glass breaking. _I'll show you disappointment, motherfucker._

A minute later, there was a knock on my door. "Edward? Dude, are you all right? What was that noise?" The concern was evident in Jasper's whisper.

"Nothing. Leave me alone," I snarled through the closed door.

His steps echoed in the hallway as he walked away without a word.

I threw myself down on my bed, taking deep breaths and pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes until I saw little bursts of light behind my eyelids.

_He would have reacted like this no matter how I chose to tell him,_ I rationalized. Somehow, I knew that to be true. It wouldn't have made any difference if I had told him of my decision during a more civilized conversation; he would have told me I was a disappointment just the same, and that was the part that kicked me in the balls. I was a disappointment because I didn't want to go along with _his_ plans for my life anymore.

All too soon, his approval or the lack of it wouldn't matter. I would be gone from his life forever, and what he thought of me would be irrelevant, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. I cared because that cold-hearted son of a bitch was my father, and I'd always carry a part of him within myself, whether I was human or a vampire. Something of the man who regarded me with so much disdain would forever live on in me; the thought of that left a bad taste in my mouth.

My breath was slower now. Resignation crept over me like a noxious gas, bringing me to terms with the fact that I'd never be any good in my father's eyes. _Fuck him. Just fuck him._ I could choose to let this wreck me, or I could choose to let it roll off me. The latter sounded like a better option.

I was startled out of my pity party by my phone buzzing in my pocket. I glanced at the caller ID before answering the call with a relieved sigh.

"Bella."

"_Edward, are you all right?_" Bella's voice jarred me. She sounded worried and upset, and I hadn't expected it.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"_Nothing's happened, all is well here. Alice called me, she saw what happened, but not until a moment before it did. I wanted to call sooner, but she said I had to wait until now. I'm sorry, Edward," _Bella said in a regretful tone.

I made a concerted effort to keep my voice even. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Soon enough it won't matter anyway."

"_It does matter, love. You don't have to bottle this up; you're allowed to be upset, you know," _Bella said softly.

Her voice sounded like home, and it made my heart ache for her. I needed her so badly right now; I felt so incredibly alone without her, especially now. It was still comforting to talk to her, even if it was only over the phone, and the containment walls I'd erected to keep my dejection locked in were beginning to crumble. Something in me recognized that she would always be there to hold me up when I needed it.

A sob was threatening to rise in my throat, but I swallowed it back down. _Man up, Masen, you big fucking pansy. What the hell is the matter with you?_

"_Edward? Love, please talk to me," _she pled.

"I'm here, sorry." I realized I had been silent for almost a minute as I struggled to regain my composure.

"_Do you want to talk about it?" _Bella's question didn't seem like prying; she was giving me an opening if I felt like taking it, or I could decline just as easily.

I cleared my throat before I answered her. "No, not really. Not right now."

"_All right. You should probably get some sleep, Edward. I love you, and I'll see you soon." _Bella seemed to notice that I wasn't able to say much more right now. I suddenly felt exhausted.

"I love you, too. I miss you," I whispered.

"_I miss you, too, love. So much. I'll call you tomorrow, all right? If you need me before then, don't hesitate to call me," _she said.

"I'll just wait for you to call me, I don't want to interrupt whatever you're doing." Her time there was limited, and I knew she couldn't waste any of it.

"_Edward, listen to me. Nothing is more important than you. Nothing. If you need me, you call me. You're my priority, and you will always come first. Understand?" _ She spoke forcefully now, as though anxious to impress on me how much she meant what she said.

"Okay, I'll call you if I need to," I agreed, if only to placate her. I already knew I wouldn't be bothering her with my shit unnecessarily.

"_Good. Sleep well, then, my love. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you, Edward."_

"I love you. Night, my Bella," I murmured.

Loneliness crushed me the second I hung up. Weary and tired, I slipped into a fitful sleep.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

I was awake well before my alarm went off. It was still dark out, but since it was nearly time for me to get up, trying to go back to sleep would be pointless. I didn't feel like facing anyone yet, either, so I went into my bathroom for a long shower, and as I went through the motions of washing myself on autopilot, my thoughts wandered to everything that happened last night. I kept replaying it in my head, making my brain swell to the point of pain. The realization that I might be just like _him_ still left me breathless and, in a sense, it gave me confidence in the rightness of my choice. Whatever put me on a path leading away from anything that resembled Edward Senior would be the right decision.

I could feel myself getting worked up again, but I attempted to control it. _Deep breaths. Rosalie will be here in a few short hours; at least someone will be on your side. You can hang on until then_, I kept telling myself. The thought of seeing my sister gave me a modicum of calm. I was sure Jasper would be on my side as well, but he sucked when it came to giving me perspective. He'd just tell me to go with the flow, or some other nonsensical bullshit. I needed someone to tell me if I were making a fucking mistake here, and no one better than Rose to do that job. She would do all she could to help me through it, but she wouldn't sugarcoat anything, or cushion any blows.

I finished my shower and dressed, waiting for the first light of morning. When the faint glow of sunbeams reflecting off the snow outside crept into my room, it was time to go downstairs.

Mom was alone in the kitchen. At this hour, she was already impeccably dressed, not a hair out of place, her makeup almost flawless. I say almost because it didn't entirely hide the dark shadows under her eyes, a telltale sign that she hadn't slept last night. Her back was to me when I entered; she was setting a rack of fresh-baked croissants on the stovetop. I took a seat at the breakfast table, and she turned to me with a sad, watery smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?" she asked, and it was clear she was trying to pretend everything was normal. She poured me a cup of coffee and plated two croissants, setting everything neatly in front of me.

"What do you think, mom?" I rubbed my forehead tiredly; the Masen family dynamics of sweeping the unpleasantness under the rug and forgetting about it until it grew three heads wasn't going to work this time.

She tutted at me, as if she were chastising me for leaving my socks on the floor. "Now, Edward, there is no need to be rude."

A snort escaped me as I asked, "Where's Senior?"

The smile that came over my mother's face was downright scary. An outsider wouldn't be able to detect the tension in it, but I knew better. It was the fake, wide smile she wore at times she would rather sink into a heap on the floor and bawl her eyes out. "Your father left early this morning; he had a meeting."

"Yeah, a meeting. Right. He left to avoid me, didn't he?" I asked shrewdly. "He couldn't even make the sacrifice of tolerating my presence to be here for when Rose arrived, huh?" And the father of the year award goes to… _not_ Senior.

Mom sat down across from me at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. I noticed she didn't get herself anything to eat. "Darling, you know that's not true. But with the office being closed next week between Christmas and New Year's, your father has a lot of work to catch up on. You know how he hates to begin the new year with loose ends from the year before."

"That's a load of crap and you know it, mom." I cut myself off before I could launch into a full-on rant. I didn't want to get angry with her; she was not the one deserving of it. I endeavored to soften my tone before I spoke again. "What do you think about what I said last night? Are you disappointed in me, too?"

"Oh, sweetheart, of course not." She reached across the tabletop to hold my hand in hers; her skin felt soft, but her grasp was weak, as if she didn't have an ounce of conviction left in her. "You're such a talented boy; I saw it the first time you sat at your grandfather's piano, and even your teacher told me on numerous occasions. I know you will do great in whatever you choose. You love music—that much has always been obvious to me—and if that's what you love, then you should pursue it." She said all this in a breathy whisper, as though afraid that someone might hear her.

"Glad you think so. Dear ol' dad would beg to differ," I laughed bitterly.

"Your father wants what's best for you, Edward. He loves you very much, and he just fears for your future," mom said, her voice back to its normal volume now.

I wanted to scream. I stared at her in disbelief; she couldn't possibly believe this crap, she _had_ to know better.

"Mom, you know very well that dad only cares about what's best for himself and his stupid firm, and I don't even know why he would think I'd be what's best for the firm. I'd be a shitty lawyer," I mused.

"Nonsense, Edward, you'd be wonderful at it." Was she going by a script or something? She's got to be kidding me.

"I could never excel at something I _despise_, mom." The venom in my voice made her smile falter for a second, but she quickly hitched it back on.

I sighed in defeat. There would be no point; she would always defend him, if for no reason other than she knew no different by now.

Standing up and grabbing my jacket, I walked over to her. "I'd better get going, or I'll be late for Rosalie." I leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. I meant it to be a brief gesture, but she wrapped a hand around my head, holding my face to hers. There was a quiet desperation in the gesture, and I felt a sudden momentary stab of fear that disappeared so quickly that I almost didn't notice it.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

"Looking good, Rosalie. Italy agrees with you," I said as we drove out of the airport's parking lot. It was true. Only my sister could step out of a fifteen-hour flight looking like a million bucks. In the middle of all the rumpled, bedraggled-looking passengers that came out of the gate, Rose strutted like a runway model, her clothes not even wrinkled; all that was missing was some dude holding a fan so her hair would blow in the wind like you see in shampoo commercials. I'd be damned if I knew how she pulled that off.

She poked me on the arm with a snort, her blue eyes glittering with humor.

"Hey, watch the arm! I'm driving here." I mock-glared at her, and she laughed. "So, how's work?" Rose worked with engine design for Ferrari; most people didn't believe me when I told them. It wasn't that usual for a girl to be so interested in cars, but Rose had a true gift with all things mechanical.

Her face lit up. "It's great, it really is a dream come true. They've put me on the team to work on the Formula 1 designs for next year. I have so many ideas!" She spent the next fifteen minutes telling me everything she had been working on, most of which went right over my head.

When she finally finished, I changed the subject. "So, the atmosphere at home is pretty heavy right now. I thought I should warn you." My eyes never left the road as I spoke, trying to sound like it wasn't that big a deal.

Rose sighed. "Oh, Edward, what did you do this time?"

"Why do you automatically assume that it's because of me?" I asked in outrage. Jasper was usually the one to make my parents' hair turn prematurely gray.

Rosalie didn't answer; she just turned to look at me, eyebrows raised, daring me to say she was wrong.

"Okay, fine, it was me," I exhaled in defeat. "I told mom and dad that I'm switching my major and not going to law school anymore."

She let out a burst of nervous laughter. "Oh, shit. How did dad take it?"

"Not well," I replied evenly.

"I'll bet. What are you switching to?"

"Music. Do you think I'm making a mistake?" I couldn't wait any longer to ask her. I tried to keep the anxiety out of my voice, and failed miserably.

"If that's what you want to do, Edward, then no." She turned to look out the window for a moment before continuing. "It's not really fair of him. I got to do what I wanted, and Jasper is undeclared, for god's sake. I never understood why dad always expected so much of you when he never put that kind of pressure on Jasper and me."

The fairness—or its absence—of it all never really occurred to me. Senior piled his expectations and directions on me and I just followed, hoping to never become the very thing I ended up being in his eyes: a disappointment.

Rose turned to me, reaching out for my hand that rested on the gearshift. "Maybe he saw in you a potential for greatness that he never saw in Jasper and me, and that's why he's always pushed you so much harder," she mused with a smile.

I gave her the same eyebrows-raised looked that she'd given me before. "You're so full of shit," I accused with a laugh.

"Maybe I am," she agreed. "Or maybe I'm right. And since I'm never wrong…" She grinned at me.

"Hah! In your dreams, blondie," I teased as we pulled up to the house.

"Shut up, red," she retorted with her tongue sticking out at me.

I got out of the car and Rose followed me into the house. "Mom? Jasper? We're home!" I shouted from the foyer.

"Oh, my baby girl!" mom squealed as she came running from the kitchen, pulling Rose into a bone-cracking hug.

"Mom," Rosalie whispered into her hair, hugging her just as tight.

"Hey, Rosie," Jasper greeted her with a wide smile. He stood with his arms open, hoping for a hug of his own, but mom refused to let go of my sister.

"Jazz, come out to the car with me to bring in the luggage. I think Rose dismantled the Coliseum and smuggled it in her suitcase; that shit is heavy." I headed for the door with Jasper right behind me.

After we hauled the three very heavy suitcases to Rosalie's room, we joined her and mom in the kitchen, where the two women sat at the table. Mom sat right next to Rose with a firm grip on her hand, as if she couldn't believe her daughter was really here.

"Rose, there was no need to bring boulders from Italy, we have plenty of rocks in Washington," Jasper said, stooping his shoulders and pressing a hand to his back to drive his point home.

"That suitcase wasn't as heavy as it could have been. Turns out I might have forgotten to pack your present," she said nonchalantly, shrugging at Jasper.

Jasper's face fell. "What? No!" Sucker… he always fell for it.

"I didn't forget, you big baby. Come here." Rose stood up and wrapped her arms around our youngest brother. "I missed you, you big goof."

Jasper looked at me with a mischievous grin, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. I skipped over to them, wrapping my arms tight around Rose and gripping Jasper's arms, keeping our sister sandwiched between us with no chance of escape. She realized immediately what was about to happen.

"No! Damn troglodytes, let me go!" she yelled, but she was laughing as we began to sing and spin in place.

_ Ring-a-round a rosie,_

_ A pocket full of posies,_

_ Ashes! Ashes!_

_ We all fall down!_

And with the last words, Jasper and I keeled over, bringing Rose to the floor with us. She smacked at us as she stood up, trying to look angry at our antics, but unable to keep from smiling.

Sadness tugged at my heart. God, how I'd miss this, how I'd miss Rose. But the sadness came with a quiet resignation; there was nothing I could do about it. In a few short months, the love that bonded me to Bella was infinitely stronger than the ties I had to my family. I could live without them, though it might pain me for a while. I could not, however, live without Bella.

Mom watched us with a fond, nostalgic smile. This was something Jasper and I started doing as soon as we were tall enough to trap Rose between us. She'd always complained and yelled at us, but it never failed to make her smile.

"My babies, all under my roof again," mom said, her lower lip trembling, with a hand on her heart.

Rose went to her, knowing just how to cause a distraction before mom got all emotional and weepy. She grasped mom's hand, tugging her toward the staircase. "Come on, mom. I brought you the most incredible shoes from Milan."

Mom's face broke into a smile. "And scarves?"

Rosalie nodded with a laugh. "You know it."

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

Surprisingly, the past couple of days hadn't been too bad. Rosalie's presence seemed to have softened our father somewhat, and besides the cold, stony glares he reserved for me, he even managed a smile or two for her.

The Christmas party was tonight, and though it was still barely 9 a.m., the house was already a beehive of activity. Flowers were being delivered and set up, the caterers had taken over the kitchen—I'd already been kicked out of there once for stealing food—and mom was driving everyone crazy with the need for her instructions to be executed with military precision. Jasper had the right idea; he was out of the house as soon as he'd woken up, uncharacteristically early for him. Or perhaps all the clanging around the house simply prevented him from sleeping in.

I had been less fortunate—namely, not quick enough to disappear before the women roped me in to helping—and was currently lugging a giant vase around that mom and Rosalie couldn't decide where to put.

"Mom, pick a spot already, my arms are getting tired," I snarled.

I was particularly grumpy this morning. Bella was supposed to have gotten in last night, but as of yet, I still hadn't gotten a phone call from her.

Tapping her chin with her finger, mom examined the gap between the wall and the staircase with a clinical eye. "Here, Edward. Set it down here." Finally. The relief I felt from dropping the weight of the vase was almost painful. Oh, sorry, _vah-se._ Not _vay-se_, as I'd been corrected several times already.

"Why do you keep checking your phone?" Rosalie asked as she sidled up to me.

"Hm?" I muttered distractedly as I pocketed my phone, disgruntled yet again at finding it free of messages or missed calls. "Oh, no reason."

"Is it a girl?" Rose teased, tickling my side.

"No. Go away," I mumbled as I danced away from her hands. Just then, my phone vibrated, and I flung it to my ear so fast it almost went flying out of my hand.

"Hello?" I may or may not have sounded a little erratic.

"_Hi, Edward. It's Bella," _came the voice on the other end. As if she needed to announce herself.

"Hi," I breathed, the smile that had been growing on my face freezing midway as I noticed Rosalie watching me with a smug, knowing smirk.

"_I just got back in town. I was wondering… I hate to take you away from your family, but do you think you could come over for an hour or so? There's something I want to show you." _

"Of course." This was the perfect excuse to get out of the house, and I'd be seeing Bella sooner than I'd expected. It couldn't get any better than this. "I'll be over in twenty minutes."

"_All right. See you in a few, then." _

I hung up and called to mom quickly before running out the door, "Ma, gotta go. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

I was not quite out of earshot when I heard Rosalie state matter-of-factly, "It's a girl."

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Bella was waiting for me in the entrance hall when I got to her apartment. It still amazed me how this never changed: every time I saw her, it felt like the first time. Wonder and an all-consuming love overwhelmed me at the sight of this perfect creature. _Check me out, all poetic and shit._

She looked as euphoric about seeing me as I was about seeing her. I wasted no time in pulling her into me, basking in the absolute peace that came from touching her.

"How was your trip?"

She shrugged delicately. "Uneventful."

"Is everything going all right?" I wasn't entirely sure what exactly her training with Eleazar entailed, but she didn't seem all too pleased about it, or at least, not very enthusiastic.

"Well enough," she answered vaguely. The faint grimace was gone from her face before I could be certain I'd seen it at all.

The mention of her trip seemed to be dampening her mood, and I decided to change the subject. "So what is it you wanted to show me?"

The excited smile returned, dissipating the somber mood that had been clouding Bella's expression.

"It's in the other room. Close your eyes," she instructed, but placed her hands over my eyes anyway, not trusting that I wouldn't peak.

Bella took my hand and led me into the apartment, still shielding whatever it was from my view. We walked a few more paces and suddenly stopped. She slid her hand away from my face, but I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to look before she was ready for me to see.

"You can look now." My eyes immediately sprang open, followed closely by my mouth.

"What the… how did you…when did you do this?" I spluttered idiotically.

"Mother helped me. I wanted to give you your Christmas present now; I couldn't wait until tomorrow."

In front of me was an exquisite Bösendorfer grand piano. It shone subtly in the soft light of the living room, and I knew it would sound incredible without even needing to touch it. When I decided to study music next year, I never dreamed I'd be playing on something like this. This instrument was a masterpiece; I lifted the lid off the keys reverently, almost afraid to touch it.

"Do you like it?" Bella asked quietly.

"Like it? It's fucking awesome." And it was.

Bella looked almost relieved at my obvious pleasure, as though she'd worried I might not like it. "At first, I thought of getting an upright for your apartment, but I was certain none would fit in there, so I finally settled on placing one here. You already know that you are welcome to come and go as you please, and you can play here to your heart's content."

Her thoughtfulness floored me, particularly in the face of Senior's blatant negativity. I had only told her of my intentions a week ago, and she embraced my choice so fully she got me a fucking piano.

I walked over to her, wasting no time in leaning in for a kiss. The way she accepted me and showed me in no uncertain terms that she _cared_ only served to cement even further my already bone-deep devotion to her. It was an indescribable feeling to have someone love every part of me. _Fuck, there I go getting emotional again._

Breaking the kiss, I whispered against her lips, "Thank you." She somehow seemed to sense I was thanking her for more than just the instrument. "This is unbelievable."

She smiled at me as I turned to sit at the piano. I played the first few bars of one of the pieces I intended to master for my audition, a Beethoven sonata. The rich, reverberating sound of the perfectly tuned piano had me almost moaning with pleasure. The keys were smooth under my fingertips; it felt almost as good to touch it as it did to hear it.

Bella watched me with a gentle smile and a faraway look. She seemed…nostalgic.

I stopped playing and looked up at her. "Do you play?"

She nodded once. "My father had me take lessons once I turned six. It had always been my mother's plan to have me learn, and my father vowed to keep to her wishes for me. I studied it until…well, you know. But I haven't ever played since he died."

I hung on her every word. Yet another facet of her life that I hadn't known, something new that I'd learned. "Do you still remember how?"

Bella chuckled softly, and the sound of it was better than the Bösendorfer. "Of course, Edward. I haven't played in decades, but I haven't forgotten. We forget nothing," she said solemnly.

I held out my hand, an invitation for her to sit by me on the bench. She accepted immediately, taking the hand I offered and sitting with me. "Play me something?" I wanted to share everything with Bella; everything I loved would be made a hundred times better if I could share it with her.

Raising her eyebrows as though mildly put out by my request, she sighed, resigned. "What would you have me play?"

"Whatever you want. I'd love to hear you play anything," I assured her.

Bella looked down at the keys for a long moment, as if deciding what to play. Her hair fell like a curtain as she bowed her head over the ivory, hiding her face from me. With a deep breath, she tucked her hair behind her ear and placed her hands to the keys.

The chords were simple—it was obviously not anything classical—but still beautiful. I wasn't prepared for what happened next, and I felt my heart stutter and splutter in my chest when I heard it.

_Bella was singing for me._

My breath caught at the heartbreaking beauty of her voice. She sang in perfect pitch, her voice soft, low and melodious, almost melancholy.

_There's a secret path I follow _

_To a place no one can find _

_Where I meet my perfect someone _

_I've kept hidden in my mind _

_Where my heart makes my decisions _

_'Till my dream becomes a vision _

_And the love I feel _

_Makes him real someday _

_'Cause I know he's out there somewhere_

_Just beyond my reach _

_Though I've never really touched him _

_Or ever heard him speak _

_Though we've never been together _

_We've never been apart _

_No we've never met _

_Haven't found him yet _

_But I know him by heart _

_Am I living in an illusion?_

_Wanting something I can't see _

_If I compromise, I'd be living lies _

_Pretending love's not meant to be _

_'Cause I know my heart's worth saving _

_And I know that he'll be waiting _

_So I'll hold on and I'll stay strong 'till then _

_'Cause I know he's out there somewhere _

_Just beyond my reach _

_Though I've never really touched him _

_Or ever heard him speak _

_Though we've never been together _

_We've never been apart _

_No we've never met _

_Haven't found him yet _

_But I know him by heart _

_No we've never met _

_Haven't found him yet _

_But I know him by heart_

When the last note rang, she raised her eyes to mine, a sheepish smile on her face.

"Bella, that was…that was unbelievable," I said in a breathy whisper, which was all I could manage right now. I was still struck dumb by her voice, and the song she sang… It suddenly hit me; she'd known of me before I even existed—Alice had had a vision of Jasper and me before we were ever born—and she had to wait so many years. It's a different kind of wait when you know exactly what you're waiting for rather than simply waiting for something still unknown to come along.

She waved an airy hand as if to say, _that was nothing._ "It's just a song I heard once on this TV show Alice used to watch. The words struck close to the heart for me, I suppose; it certainly left enough of an impression," she said.

_No we've never met/haven't found him yet/but I know him by heart._ My heart cracked in my chest at the wistfulness in her tone. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I wish I'd gotten here sooner." Wrapping an arm around her, I pulled her close to me on the piano bench and touched my lips to her temple.

"You got here when you were meant to. You were worth the wait, love." Her lips curved in a reassuring smile, her eyes telling me she meant it.

"But it couldn't have been easy for you. Hell, I went days without seeing you, and I was ready to lose my mind. You knew about me for _years_, and there was nothing you could do to get to me; I didn't even exist yet. I can't even imagine if I had to go years without you. I'd go insane." It was the truth. We weren't even together when she disappeared for over a week at a time; I was snapping at everyone, hurt and pissed off, not even knowing why.

"The wait was easier for Alice," she nodded. "She had her visions to keep her company. The way she sees things that are to happen, to her they have the feel of memories, as though the events had already passed. Alice had thousands of visions of her future with Jasper, so she's had all these 'memories' of him—she went on a binge when she first saw her future mate; she sat still for days, forcing visions of him to come to her. All I had was the dream."

The enormity of this reality was hard for me to grasp. Years of waiting, with no possibility of speeding things up. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

Bella stood from the piano and walked out of the living room. When I made to follow her, she turned to me and held up her hand. "Wait here, I'll be right back."

I sat back down, my brain still too jammed to wonder where she'd gone.

She returned a few seconds later, holding a yellowed piece of thick paper, the kind used for charcoal drawings. I recognized the type of paper immediately because I'd watched Rosalie draw on paper just like it a million times; only none of it had looked aged like the one Bella held.

She sat back down next to me and handed me the paper, whispering, "I don't need the dream anymore, Edward."

I gasped when I saw the sketch. It was_ me._ It was my face exactly, the drawing so perfect it could have been a photograph, even though it was made with charcoal. My eyes on the paper were alive, happy, my lips stretched into a wide smile.

"Is there anything you can't do?" I teased her. Her talent showed in every line of the portrait.

"Oh, there's plenty. You've seen me trying to cook," she laughed.

"I imagine you've had enough source material to draw this. I don't think I've ever smiled so much or so widely until I've met you." Most of my time spent around Bella was with filled with contentment and joy; she's seen my face looking exactly like this on a daily basis. All I had to do was think of her, and I'd smile without even realizing I was doing it.

Silently, she pointed a finger at the bottom right corner of the paper.

"Fuck me," I breathed. She'd written the year down; this was made three years before I was born_. _"How could you have drawn this back then?" The shock in my voice made it tremble slightly.

Bella laughed lightly as she answered me. "Alice described you, and I drew, similar to the manner a police sketch artist would, except that eyewitness accounts are usually inaccurate, but Alice has perfect memory, of course. She directed me as I sketched, so I could have a precise picture of what you'd look like. Something to hold on to."

I stared at the exact likeness of my face with something akin to awe; to think that a picture of me had existed before _I_ did blew my mind.

Bella entwined her arm with mine, resting her head on my shoulder. "I don't need to hold on to a picture anymore. Now I have the real thing," she sighed.

I sat the picture down on top of the piano and cupped her face, tilting it up so I could kiss her. "Forever."

* * *

**A/N: The song Bella plays for Edward is "I Know Him by Heart" by Vonda Shepard, and it was featured in Ally McBeal. It's a gorgeous song, check it out!**

**The next chapter is written, beta-ed and ready to post! It will be up in a couple of days.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a review ;) Thanks for reading.**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

**Edward POV**

I'd lost track of time as I sat with Bella at the piano, prompting Rose to call me with a warning. "You'd better get back here, mom is about to hunt you down with an axe." I'd been gone for over three hours.

Only thirty minutes had passed since I'd left Bella, and I already missed her. The thought of seeing her tonight held me over as Rose interrogated me relentlessly as to my whereabouts.

"Fine, Rosalie, you're right. It's a girl. You'll meet her tonight," I sighed, exasperated.

She punched my arm and crowed in triumph, "I knew it! Was that so hard?"

I had no problem telling Rosalie about Bella; I wanted to show my girl off, shout from the rooftops that I loved her, but I had this irrational desire to keep her all to myself. I didn't want to share her attention, her affection, or even the idea of her. I was becoming a greedy fucker, that was for sure.

"You're wasting your time with this whole engine design bullshit; you should become a police detective." She did manage to worm a confession out of me, after all.

"Because I'm so perceptive and smart?" she asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Because you're stubborn as fuck, like a dog with a bone," I laughed. She smacked me square in the chest, knocking the breath out of me. "Damn, woman, so violent! By the time you leave, I'm going to have bruises all over."

"And you only have your smartass mouth to blame for that," she quipped. A noise from the kitchen made her turn her head, and I seized the opportunity. With catlike stealth, I reached behind her head and grabbed a lock of her hair, yanking on it once. And then I ran for my life.

"Dammit, Edward!" She yelled after me. I was already halfway up the stairs, laughing my ass off. I knew there would be payback later; there always was.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

The first guests were starting to arrive as my mother adjusted my tie compulsively, quickly moving over to Jasper's.

"Edward, I thought I told you to comb your hair." After adjusting Jasper's tie—for the fifth time—she had attacked my hair, trying to beat it into submission.

"I did! You know it has it a mind of its own," I said defensively. I _had_, in fact, attempted to tame my crazy hair. I wanted to look good for Bella, and the mild disarray it was in was the best I could manage.

Mom took a deep breath to calm herself. "You do look very handsome. Both my boys do," she said, smiling at us. "Now go in there and be the perfect gentlemen I know you are." She shooed us into the living room, turning to give instructions to the caterer.

We walked around, mingling and welcoming guests as they arrived, occasionally stopping to chat briefly with people we knew.

Emmett showed up soon after the party started, holding a small bouquet of flowers. "Aw, for me? You shouldn't have," I gushed, batting my eyelashes at him.

"They're not for you, you fruitcake. They're for your mom," he laughed, smacking my face with the bouquet.

"She's around here somewhere," I shrugged, craning my head around the room, looking for her. I didn't find her, but I spotted Rosalie nearby and called her over. It was easy to pick her out of the crowd; her red dress stood out amidst the mass of dark suits and black dresses.

Rosalie sidled up to me with a smile, and I introduced her. "Emmett, this is my sister, Rosalie. I don't think you've met her before. She lives in Italy, works for Ferrari with engine design." I turned to Rosalie as I pointed at Emmett. "Rose, this is Emmett, one of my best friends from school. He's the drummer in our band."

The sound of Emmett stammering had my head snapping around to him. Emmett never stuttered; that fucker didn't have a bashful bone in his overgrown body, but by the look on his face, you'd think I'd just introduced him to the Queen of England.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he breathed. He held out the bouquet he brought towards Rosalie. "These are for you." He was staring at her, completely stupefied. Yeah, Rosalie tended to have that effect on guys; it was nothing new.

She took the roses from Emmett, sniffing them briefly. "Thank you," she said.

"I thought you said those were for mom?" I reminded him. Rosalie chuckled, knowing full well the effect her looks tended to have on men.

Emmett threw me a hard look that threatened bodily harm if I didn't scamper. I snickered and walked away, leaving him to make googly eyes at my sister.

I saw my father's partner in his firm making his way to me, and I glanced around quickly, looking for an exit strategy. I'd bet any amount of money that Alistair Hawthorne was coming to talk to me as per Senior's request, probably to try to sell me on the wonders of law school.

He reached me before I could make my escape, and he knew I'd seen him coming, so it would be rude to turn around and walk away now. Fuck.

"Edward," he said as he approached me with an outstretched arm.

"Mr. Hawthorne," I greeted him, shaking his hand.

"How've you been, son? I haven't seen you in a while." His face was affable, his voice gentle and familiar. I'd known Alistair since I was little, and I was well aware that this non-threatening, genial exterior was a ruse to lull people into a false sense of security right before he moved in for the kill. It was what made him the second best litigator in the state.

"Great. And you, sir?"

"Quite well, thank you for asking. How is everything going at school?" he asked, that shark smile of his widening. It looked fucking creepy.

"Going good," I answered evasively. Just then, my salvation walked through the door. "If you'll excuse me." I shook his hand again and hurried away without waiting for a response, towards the foyer where the most exquisite woman stood.

Bella and Alice had just arrived, and everyone in the vicinity turned to look at the two women. I couldn't blame anyone for staring; Bella was wearing a black and silver strapless dress that clung to her every curve and made her look unreal, her dark brown hair cascading over her shoulder. I didn't know jack shit about dresses, but I knew enough to realize not many women looked as good as she did in a skin-tight dress. The contrast of the dark dress against her pale skin gave her a mysterious, subtle glow. She was so stunning; even I was gaping at her like a fool.

I walked up to them, and Alice stepped forward, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Alice. Jasper is over there," I said, pointing towards the west side of the room. She smiled brightly and followed the direction I indicated.

I turned back to Bella to find her smiling at me. "Hello, handsome," she said as her eyes traveled up and down the length of my body.

"Hello yourself," I breathed, mesmerized. I took her hand eagerly and led her into the living room. As she walked beside me, I noticed her dress had a thigh-high split that showed her leg—_a lot_ of leg. My mouth began watering immediately at the sight of her bare skin.

Bella's hand encircled my arm as we moved through the room; I was looking for my mother so I could introduce them. I finally found her near the bar, where she was handing Alice a glass of champagne and taking another for herself. I knew Alice wouldn't be drinking it; Jasper would end up tossing it back it instead so she could pretend she'd been the one to do it, and I chuckled to myself—Jasper hated champagne. He had his hand on the small of Alice's back as she spoke to mom.

I walked up to their circle with Bella still on my arm; I was so full of pride for having this gorgeous woman next to me that I was practically floating a foot off the floor.

"Mom, I see you've met Alice. This is Bella," I said, waving a hand towards my beloved.

Bella held out her hand to mom with a warm smile. "Mrs. Masen, it's a pleasure to meet you. You have a lovely home."

Mom took Bella's hand briefly, and returned the pleasantries. "Please, dear, call me Elizabeth. So you and Alice are sisters, then?"

I momentarily panicked, having just realized that we never discussed what we'd tell my parents about the Cullen family. Bella was unfazed. "Stepsisters, but we're as close as any blood sisters could ever be. My mother married Alice's father," she said, giving Alice a fond smile. An alarm sounded in my head when I thought that this little fiction might backfire—their claim to having no blood relation would sound pretty weird when they had the same color eyes.

Glancing between Alice's and Bella's faces, I realized that my fear was unfounded; their eyes were different tonight. Alice's were a light, buttery gold, but Bella's were a darker shade of amber. I frowned as I noted her eye color; it meant she was thirsty. I wasn't afraid she'd lose control or anything, but she was probably very uncomfortable in a room crowded with humans.

"Edward, why don't you fetch a drink for beautiful Bella?" my mom said, moving to Bella's side and taking her arm, already clutching Alice's. Of course she'd want to inspect the girls that had her boys so enraptured.

I grimaced at Bella in apology as my mother steered them away, already chattering and asking questions. Jasper followed me to the bar where we ordered drinks for ourselves. There would be no point in actually getting Bella a drink—she wouldn't consume it anyway, and mom had me do it just an excuse to get the girls alone with her.

Mom led Bella and Alice towards the piano, their heads bent low as they whispered to one another, smiling and giggling every so often.

"What do you think they're talking about?" I asked Jasper, tossing back the scotch.

"Fucked if I know," he shrugged, ordering another one for himself. When I raised an eyebrow at his second drink in five minutes, he defended himself. "What? I got to get that champagne taste out of my mouth," he said, making a face.

I nodded in understanding, still staring at them intently, willing my ears to pick up what they were saying, but of course it'd never happen over the din of the party. "They seem to be getting along." They were still talking animatedly, and they'd all just broken into laughter as my mother said something.

Jasper picked up his drink and turned to look at them. "Mom's probably telling them embarrassing shit about us," he said shrewdly.

"Shit," I mumbled. Bella caught my eye just then and smiled, nodding once. She'd heard us, and just confirmed what Jasper said. "You're right."

"Told ya." Jasper wasn't too concerned with what mom could tell the girls. He was completely unapologetic about everything he'd ever done. I, on the other hand…

Ten minutes had passed, and that was as long as I could force myself to stay away from Bella. They were still chatting when I came up beside her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Mom, you've monopolized enough of Bella's time. I want her to meet Rose."

Mom smiled at me, and her eyes mirrored my happiness; she approved of Bella and Alice. "I think I saw your sister in the dining room earlier."

"Thanks, mom." Bella's hand settled on my arm again, and I led her towards the dining room to search for Rosalie. We found her there, still talking to Emmett. I'd never seen him paying that close attention to a girl as she spoke before; he was looking at her face intently, drinking in every word, and not staring at her chest. That was a first.

"Rose, I'd like you to meet Bella." The girls shook hands and exchanged greetings. Rosalie turned to me, that smug little grin dancing on her lips again.

"Ah, the mystery girl. I love your dress, by the way."

Bella smiled pleasantly. "Thank you, Rosalie. It's great to finally meet you; Edward has told me so much about you."

"Funny; he hasn't told me a thing about you," Rosalie said. I knew what she was trying to do; this was her way to test how serious I was about a girl. Of course she couldn't find a more subtle way to do it; Rose could be as blunt as a sledgehammer to the face sometimes.

I glared at Rosalie, not wanting to play into this bullshit—not where Bella was concerned. "Rosalie, cut that shit out. If you want to know, just fucking ask me," I hissed at her.

She shrugged, completely untroubled. "Fine. Do you love this one?" It sounded like she was picking out a lobster.

"What the hell is the matter with you today?" She'd always been like this, worse than mom when it came to vetting my girlfriends. For some reason, she never submitted Jasper's dates to this madness. I'd asked her about it once, and she'd told me that while Jasper could be trusted to protect himself from getting hurt by a girl, I lacked the same ability. I got my heart broken once in third grade, and Rose has never let me live that shit down!

"Just answer the question, Edward." Rosalie was still eyeing Bella as though trying to x-ray her insides.

"Yes, Rosalie, I do. And I'm not nine anymore, it's about time you lay off. Jesus fuck," I muttered, utterly annoyed.

As openly as Rosalie was glaring at her, Bella was not intimidated by it one bit. She was holding Rose's gaze, not looking away, her face exuding calm and certainty. She didn't seem upset by my sister's brash attitude, but she didn't back down from it, either.

"What about you, Bella? Do you love my little brother?"

This was getting ridiculous. "You don't have to answer that, Bella. Just ignore the crazy lady."

Bella acted as though she hadn't heard me. She smiled at Rosalie, but it wasn't her usual sweet, soft smile; there was something intense about it, almost menacing. "More than my own life."

Rosalie stood silently, digesting Bella's words, measuring her sincerity, and finally said, "Okay, then." Her expression eased out of her fierce scowl as she stepped forward, throwing her arms around Bella and catching her completely off-guard. Bella hesitated for only a moment before returning the hug.

When Rosalie released her, she smiled so cheerfully at Bella that she looked almost deranged. "Don't mind me, Bella. I'm just looking out for my little brother. Erik the Red here is not nearly as tough as he looks," she said, elbowing my on the side playfully.

Bella returned the smile and nodded. "Of course I understand. I don't want him to be hurt any more than you do." If only Rosalie knew exactly how much Bella meant that.

"Glad we see eye to eye on this. I just know we'll be great friends," Rosalie said.

"Okay, we're out of here." I took Bella's hand and pulled her behind me as I left Rosalie and Emmett alone. Once we were in a more deserted corner of the dining room, I pulled Bella to me, holding her close. "I'm sorry about Rosalie; I really didn't expect her to pull this shit."

To my surprise, Bella laughed. "It's quite all right, Edward. She's very protective of you, and for that alone, she's earned my respect."

I rolled my eyes at that. "She's not protective; she's insane."

She laughed again, a soft, carefree giggle that I silenced by touching my lips to hers. I'd gone too long without kissing her; one more minute without it and I'd explode.

"So, you've met almost everyone. Just Senior left," I said nervously.

"Would you rather I didn't meet him?" she asked, eyeing me closely.

"No, of course not. But Rose was bad enough." I knew he would give her the third degree, and while I wasn't worried that she couldn't handle herself, his grilling of her was bound to piss me off. I was certain Alice would be spared the interrogation; Jasper could do no wrong.

"Let's get it over with, then." Bella kissed me briefly, squeezing my hand in quiet reassurance.

I nodded and began walking towards the living room where I thought I might find my father. Sure enough, there he was, regaling a large group of people with some amusing story. Watching him being so extroverted with a gathering of strangers was like watching Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This outgoing man was not the man I knew.

"Dad, may I speak to you? I'd like you to meet someone," I said, touching him on the shoulder.

He turned around, his eyes hardening slightly as he realized it was me. "Of course, son." His voice sounded light and pleasant; he didn't want to look like an asshole in front of these people. He glanced around the group and excused himself.

We took a few steps away, and I made the introductions. "Dad, this is Isabella Cullen, my girlfriend. Bella, this is Edward Senior, my father."

My father held out his hand, which Bella shook delicately. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." Her voice was demure and respectful; she had my dad's number all right.

"The pleasure is mine. So, Miss Cullen, how did you meet my son?" Senior asked, trying to make conversation. He was looking for an opening to start his cross-examination.

"We met at the club where he plays on weekends," she answered.

My father's smile faltered, and his nostrils flared. "I see. Are you in school?"

"Yes, sir, I'm a senior at UW."

"So you're graduating with Edward, then? And what is your major, Miss Cullen?" Well, fuck, here we go.

Bella felt my tension and squeezed my hand ever so slightly, indicating that everything was fine, but I knew better.

"Biochemistry," she answered evenly.

"Quite a different career path from Edward's, then. He'll be going to law school next year. What are your plans after graduating?" My stomach dropped to my feet, and anger surged through me. The son of a bitch was pulling her into our mess within five minutes of meeting her. I glared at him furiously, but he ignored me.

Bella cocked her head, her brow scrunched in confusion. "I don't think he is. I understand he's interested in switching his studies to music; composing, more specifically."

"Is that right? And what do you think of my son's brainless idea to change his major six months before finishing school, essentially starting over?" Senior asked through gritted teeth, his fake smile so stiff he'd be getting cramps on his face soon.

Bella smiled then, looking pleasantly oblivious. "I think it's brilliant that he's not willing to settle, that he wants to pursue his true aspirations."

I gaped at Bella, awestruck that she didn't seem the slightest bit fazed by my father's obvious attempt to bully her into agreeing I was a moron.

"You do, do you?" he sneered.

She nodded slowly, her face a picture of calm. "I do."

Senior was turning a strange shade of puce. If there was one thing he was not used to, it was someone not agreeing with him. I'd never seen anyone not hurry to say whatever he wanted to hear once he'd stared them down. It seemed to have no impact on Bella whatsoever, and it was clear he was less than amused.

He was glaring at her as though she were the enemy. I knew what was going through that lizard brain of his; if she agreed with my choice, than she was no good in his eyes. I had to get us away before I lost my temper.

"I think mom was looking for us," I managed to spit out.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Masen," Bella was saying, but I was already pulling her away.

I went out on the balcony, closing the door behind us. I was breathing heavily, anger still coursing through me at my father's rudeness to Bella. The night air was cold, but I welcomed the bite of the wind on my face.

"Edward, are you all right?" Bella asked as soon as the door closed behind us.

"I just need a minute. I can't fucking believe him," I growled.

Bella didn't say anything else; she knew I needed a moment to calm down, and she allowed me that time.

We stood in silence for a while. Maybe it was the frosty air, or the annoyance I felt that still crept over me like a thousand spiders, but I was suddenly overcome by a weird sensation that I was sure I'd felt before; a prickling on the back of my neck, an uneasy feeling of being watched.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. "I honestly didn't realize he'd be such a prick to you. Usually, he tries to maintain his 'nice guy' façade until people know him a little better."

She shrugged lightly. "He's not getting his way and he's upset by it. He'll come around."

"No, he won't. I don't care, though. Fuck him," I sneered.

"He will, Edward. And he's your father; of course you care. He'll accept it, just give him time."

I smiled bitterly. "You don't know him like I do. When it comes to holding a grudge, he's worse than the mafia. I don't give a shit if he never accepts it, but the way he spoke to you is inexcusable."

"Don't let it bother you, love, because it didn't bother me. You're all that matters," she said.

Bella's hand was resting on my face, the chilly night air making her skin even colder, but there was immense comfort in her wintry touch. I closed my eyes and nuzzled my cheek against her hand; it soothed me and helped me come down from my temper outburst.

"We should go inside, Edward. It's much too cold out here." I groaned in response, but realized she was right; my nose was growing numb, and probably as red as a tomato. All I needed was for it to start running; that'd be sexy as hell.

Alice and Jasper were on the other side of the door, obviously waiting for us. Jasper shot me a concerned look, but I waved him off, letting him know I was fine.

Now that all the bullshit was done and over with, maybe I could finally enjoy some of this night with my girl. I wrapped my arm around her waist, splaying a hand across her back and bringing her chest to mine. I touched my nose to hers, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Dance with me, my Bella."

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

Rosalie left the day after Christmas, and though I was dying to get the hell out of my parents' house, I had to stay for several hours after she left. Mom was inconsolable, and I couldn't bear to leave her alone when she felt so torn up about my sister going back to Europe.

It was close to midnight when I finally got back to Bella's apartment. I let myself in and heard Bella's voice as soon as I entered.

"I'm in the study, Edward."

I followed her voice and found her sprawled in the armchair with a thick book resting on her leg. I walked over to her, sinking to my knees in front of the chair and resting my head on her lap. She ran her fingers over my scalp gently, guessing I needed the comfort of her touch. It was uncanny how she always seemed to anticipate what I needed.

"Bad day?" she surmised.

"You have no idea."

Bella played with my hair a little while longer, and though the position was slightly uncomfortable and my knees were starting to get sore, I was almost falling asleep.

She must have noticed my impending slumber; nudging me gently on the shoulder, she said, "Let's get you in bed. You're exhausted."

I nodded drowsily and stood up to go to her bedroom, and Bella followed me. I changed quickly into one of the pajama pants I always kept at her place, and fell into bed, my eyelids drooping with sleep.

The mattress sank next to me where Bella sat. She tucked the comforter around me and kissed me on the forehead. "Good night, my love; sweet dreams," she said softly.

Movement on the bed alerted me that she'd stood up to leave, and my hand shot out from under the covers to grasp hers. Pulling her back down, my eyes slid closed again. "Stay with me," I mumbled.

"Always," she whispered as I fell asleep.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

New Year's eve was in three days, and Emmett was throwing a party at his house, but tonight we were meeting him at Perestroika. I hadn't gone there in several weeks, and as Bella and I pulled up to the parking lot, I realized I missed this place. Most of all, I missed our weekend gigs here, but tonight we weren't here to play. James was still missing, and we hadn't yet actively begun searching for a replacement.

We made our way inside and walked towards the bar, where Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were already waiting for us.

"Hey, man," Emmett greeted me with a shoulder bump. "Hi, Bella, looking fine as always," he said, turning to her with an exaggerated leering look.

"Hello, Emmett," Bella chuckled in response.

"Dude, what the hell?" I smacked him upside the head.

"What? I'm just paying the girl a compliment. It's polite!" he yelled indignantly. "Besides, I only have eyes for your sister. Oh, man, what a woman." He waggled his eyebrows at me with a douchey little smile.

"Quit being such a pig; she's my sister!" I groaned in disgust. Jasper's face mirrored mine as Emmett looked between my brother and me.

"Nothing happened; get your minds out of the gutter. Jeez," Emmett quickly defended himself. "We just spent the night talking. She's incredible," he sighed dreamily. _What the fuck? Emmett, spending the night _talking_ to a girl, and happy about it. Now I've seen everything._

"Awww Emmy-poo is in wuv!" I teased him in a high-pitched voice, making kissy noises at him. "Joke is on you; she'll tear your heart out and eat it for breakfast." My warning fell on deaf ears.

"She can do whatever she wants to my heart. And to the rest of me," he said, smiling broadly.

"I don't want to hear it," Jasper said, stuffing his fingers in his ears. Alice and Bella giggled, shaking their heads at our antics.

Just then, Valentin appeared. "Babylon! My favorite band! Where have you boys been?" he asked in his thick Russian accent, shaking all our hands in turn. He turned to the bartender, pointing at the five of us. "Paul, get them a round on the house."

"Hey, Valentin. We still haven't replaced James," Emmett said with a shrug.

"Hm, yes. The police came here asking questions about him, but there was nothing I could tell them." He looked thoughtful. "I do wonder what happened to him," he mused as he twirled his goatee.

"No one seems to know anything," Jasper said with a shrug.

"Ach! Wouldn't surprise me if he got in some kind of trouble. Never liked that boy." Valentin was wagging his index finger with a scornful expression on his face.

Emmett, Jasper and I looked at one another, not sure what to say to that. Admittedly, none of us was missing James all too terribly, except for the fact that his disappearance had put a kink in our performances.

Bella's eyes cut to Alice's face then, a gesture so minute I barely caught it. She smiled sweetly when she saw me looking at her.

"So, Emmett, it's been a while; perhaps it's time for you guys to find a new guitar player for the band?" Bella suggested, cutting through the silence that had fallen after Valentin's comment.

"Yes! I agree with the beautiful girl; find someone else and come play at my club again." Valentin reached out and grabbed Bella's hand, raising it and shaking their joined fists in our faces to strengthen his point. He seemed slightly put out by the cold, hard feel of her skin, but he quickly ignored it. "Since Babylon stopped playing on Saturdays, my sales went down," Valentin said mournfully.

Bella disentangled her hand from his as soon as she was able to without bringing attention to it, and I glanced at her nervously, but she smiled and winked in reassurance.

"We'll work on it," Emmett was saying. "I can start looking after New Year's."

Valentin beamed at Emmett's words. "I need to go backstage now. It's good to see you boys again," he said, turning around to attend to his duties.

"So, how about it?" Emmett turned to each of us. "Should we start looking?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

Jasper nodded.

James hadn't been with the band for very long, and it seemed none of us felt any deep loyalty to him that would have us wait much longer for him to show back up. I hoped he was okay, wherever he was. I didn't like the guy, but I didn't wish him any ill.

Emmett said he would begin putting the word out in a few days and chugged the rest of his beer. Spotting someone over my shoulder, he called out and whistled loudly. "Yo, Jared!" Emmett waved us a quick goodbye, saying he'd see us at the party, and went over to where Jared stood on the other side of the bar.

Alice and Jasper wandered off on their own, leaving Bella and me by ourselves.

"Who's on next?" she asked, nestling into my arms.

I stood on tiptoe to get a good look at the stage, peeking over her head. "Um… Looks like it's Lenny." I recognized his ugly ass blue and brown guitar perched on its stand in the middle of the stage.

Bella grinned at me. "Want to stay for his set?"

"Sure," I agreed. I wasn't all that excited to stick around for Lenny's singing, but if Bella wanted to stay, we would.

I was duly rewarded for it; Bella pressed her lips to mine, giving me a slow, toe-curling kiss. She lightly licked my lower lip, and I felt the familiar clenching in my abdomen. The club was plunged into darkness as Lenny stepped onto the stage, and I took advantage of the cover it provided. I slithered my tongue into her mouth at the same time that I wrapped one arm around her waist, drawing our hips flush together. A low moan escaped me as I felt the cool, silky texture of her mouth on mine.

Bella's lips curved against mine in a smile as she pressed herself to me; it seemed she noticed the way my body was reacting to her touch and her kiss. Frankly, I was surprised no one else noticed; you could set up a three-ring circus in my pants right now. Every time we got this close, I became overwhelmed with a painful need for her, and I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to hold out, danger be damned.

"Bella…" I groaned.

With one last lick of my lips, she reluctantly pulled away from me. "I know. I'm sorry, Edward. I should be more mindful of my reactions," she apologized in my ear.

Pulling her back to me, I cupped her cheek with my hand. "I'm the one who should apologize. I just can't stop when we get like this." I couldn't really say I was sorry, though. I'd never be sorry for wanting her.

"Let's watch the show, shall we?" Bella said with a small smile, turning around and leaning back against me. I wrapped my arms over her shoulders and she pressed back into me, her ass settling low on my hip.

I groaned with undisguised desire. "Not helping, Bella," I whispered to her.

She turned her head to face me, her eyes hooded, her lips slightly parted. She couldn't help it anymore than I could.

#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#—#

**Bella POV**

"Bella, pull out the trays from the oven, please. That batch is ready," Alice said, elbow-deep in a vat of dough.

"Yes, mistress," I sighed playfully, doing as she asked. Alice looked at me with raised eyebrows and chuckled.

"About time you recognized my authority," she laughed.

Emmett's New Year's party was tonight, and Alice had taken it upon herself to bake an insane amount of bite-sized quiches for us to bring. She seemed to share my mother's love for cooking; she took on the task with gusto. She'd seen that there would be nothing to eat at the party except for two bags of chips that someone would bring, and that without any food, twelve people would drink too much and get sick. In order to prevent this regurgitating calamity, Alice felt it was her duty to provide some "nibblies," as she called them.

Edward and Jasper sat at the kitchen table while Alice moved about, preparing dough and cooking three different types of filling. I'd tried to help, but she simply shooed me away, swatting at my hands so I'd drop the wooden spoon. The only help she required was of the two humans—her taste testers. They took their job very seriously, eating several pieces from each batch I pulled out of the oven to make sure they were acceptable.

Jasper was currently chewing his third mini-quiche—from the same tray—and nodding in approval. "Alice, these are awesome. Do we have to take all of them to Emmett's?" he asked, eying the several trays of baked quiches with something akin to regret.

"Yes, we do, fat ass," Edward chided him through a mouthful of his own.

The insult, though far from true, bothered Jasper. "I'm not fat! It's all muscle, feel it," he said, grabbing Edward's hand and touching it to his stomach.

"Fine, fine, you're not fat. Just don't make me touch your flabby abs ever again," Edward said with a laugh.

"Jasper, you know you're not fat," Alice said, throwing Edward a hard look. "And even if you were, I'd love you regardless," she cooed.

Jasper was slightly mollified by Alice's reassurance.

"Damn pansy," Edward muttered.

"I heard that!" Jasper growled, throwing a quiche in Edward's face.

"No food fight in my kitchen!" Alice screeched. "What is it with you two throwing food at each other?"

Uh-oh. I moved my chair away from the two of them. They were getting dangerously close to setting Alice off; she was the sweetest, gentlest thing until you irritated her. Then she turned into a shrieking banshee.

"Oh, I see how it is," Edward said to me when he noticed me scooting away. "Leave me all alone to face Alice's fury." The hurt look on his face was spoiled by the twitching of his lips as he tried to hold back a smile.

"When Alice gets going, it's a 'save yourself' kind of situation," I said seriously. Alice threw me a horrified look, and Edward burst into laughter.

Her lips pursed then, and she turned her stern gaze to the two men at the table. "No more throwing food," she warned and turned back to the bowl she was working on.

"Yes, ma'am," they replied in unison, their expressions turning wickedly angelic.

Within seconds, Edward and Jasper resumed their eating and bickering—sans food hurling—and I sat back to watch them. It was a surreal scene for one such as myself, but I found it exceedingly simple to slip into the sense of normalcy that Edward and Jasper had created in our lives. Indeed, it was _easy_ to follow their lead and allow ourselves a degree of frivolity, to be…almost human.

Alice in particular had taken to it so naturally that sometimes I had to remind myself that she was a vampire. Watching her chastising the boys while moving around the kitchen cooking as though she'd done this her entire life made me realize how much had really been missing. Alice was not meant to be hidden away in the dark.

When the last tray of food had finally been taken out of the oven, Alice packed it all for transportation to the party. Jasper had been positively glum as he watched the treats being put away in sealed containers, though his mood lifted when Alice promised to make more for him later. Humans seemed to be really attached to their food.

I thought my attire was acceptable for a New Year's party, but I should have known better. Alice, spotting my jeans and black top, declared me unsuitably dressed. "It's New Year's, Bella, we must wear white!"

Of course, white. How could I forget? Alice had the silly superstition that one must wear at least one white garment when welcoming a new year on pain of suffering bouts of bad luck. She'd succeeded in dressing Jasper in a white shirt, but Edward refused to comply, stating that his underwear was white, and that ought to be enough. I had the wild thought of checking for myself, just to make sure.

Alice allowed me the jeans and boots I was already wearing, but demanded I put on the white sweater she was brandishing like a matador. I snatched it out of her hands in annoyance. "You're impossible," I accused.

When we arrived at Emmett's, the party was already in full swing. All the windows of the small house were brightly lit, and the silhouettes of swaying bodies were visible through the glass panes. Alice parked her Porsche behind my SLR and pulled the stack of Tupperware containers from the backseat, piling it up so high the humans were bound to wonder how in the world she managed to balance it all.

Jasper held the door open, and Alice sashayed into the living room where the music was loudest, several people dancing near the center. A scarred dining table was pushed against the back wall, completely covered in a wide array of bottles containing every type of alcoholic beverage imaginable. There were also stacked trays of tiny cups containing some gelatin-like substance in jewel colors; they looked like dessert. I guess Alice was wrong; they did have food after all. A few of them were a deep blue color and, curious, I picked one up to inspect it closer. I imagined it might be some blueberry concoction, but one sniff of the contents revealed this was _not_ dessert. It reeked of vodka; I dropped it back on the tray with a disgusted face. Apparently drinking the alcohol was not enough; humans had to eat it, too.

The couch and two armchairs were pushed against the walls as well, where people sat drinking and talking. Glancing around the room, I recognized several people from school, two of which were in one of my classes.

Alice went straight for the kitchen to set up the food containers; I was about to follow her when Emmett emerged, already visibly intoxicated.

"Bella! Edward! Now the party can start," Emmett boomed.

Edward looked around, smirking, finally nodding towards the large cup of alcohol Emmett held. "By the looks of it, it started a long time ago."

"Too true, my friend," Emmett agreed, taking a hearty swig of the liquid. "Go grab yourselves a drink." He wobbled slightly as he walked away, and I rushed to his side, entwining my arm with his.

"Why don't you come to the kitchen with me, Emmett? Alice brought some food; you should try it. Jasper swears by it," I suggested, nodding my head for Edward to grab hold of Emmett's other arm. It would look rather strange if people saw me carting Emmett on my own, considering he was at least twice my size.

As usual, Alice was right. Emmett had been drinking on an empty stomach, and unless we got him to eat something soon, he'd be out cold before midnight.

Alice was still in the kitchen, having just finished arranging the mini-quiches in an artful display on the kitchen table. She stood back to study her handiwork, pleased with herself.

I picked up a couple and held them out to Emmett, though he made no move to take them from me. Instead, he leaned towards me and opened his mouth.

Edward noticed the confused look on my face, because he reached for the food in my hand and took the pieces from me, stuffing them in Emmett's mouth.

"Seriously, Em, do we need to hang up a 'Don't feed the bears' sign? I mean, I know this place is a zoo, but come on!" Edward laughed.

Emmett chewed happily, a glazed look on his face. Throwing his arms around mine and Edward's necks, he squeezed us against his side. "I love you guys," he slurred. Edward groaned.

"Okay, you're officially cut off," Edward said, taking the cup form Emmett's hand, who simply grunted and walked away, probably to get himself another drink.

Edward chuckled as we watched Emmett wobble away, and turned to press a kiss to my cheek. "We'll be scraping him off the floor before the night is out," he predicted.

I laughed and nodded in agreement as I wrapped an arm around Edward's waist. Word of the sudden appearance of food started to spread, and people began trickling into the kitchen to help themselves, so Edward and I slipped back to the living room where Alice and Jasper were in animated conversation with two other girls.

Edward towed me to a vacant love seat and pulled me down on it next to him, tucking me close to his side and entwining our fingers. We sat there for a while in silence, simply content to be close to each other, just people watching.

Edward ran his thumb over the top of my hand in a slow, absent-minded way that was almost hypnotic; the rhythmic motion on my skin was oddly soothing.

"Bella, come here." Alice was waving me over, wanting me to join in on their conversation.

"Be right there," I murmured. Turning to Edward, I kissed his lips in a brief parting gesture. "Alice is calling me, love."

"Then you shouldn't keep her waiting," he grinned, kissing me again. "I'll grab a drink with Jasper and maybe check on Emmett. See you in a few?"

"Of course." I gave him another quick kiss and went to join Alice. Edward and Jasper headed over to the alcohol-laden table to select drinks, then crouched next to Emmett where he sat talking to a fair-skinned boy with a droopy Mohawk.

I turned my attention to Alice and the two girls to whom she spoke, Lauren and Angela. The latter had been in one of our classes; she and Alice were talking enthusiastically about coursework while the girl named Lauren looked on with a bored expression.

It still surprised me how well Alice blended and interacted with the humans, though I guess it shouldn't. I'd always known that this was something she wanted, to be closer to them, but Carlisle and I continuously attempted to rein her in. It wouldn't do to have humans looking too closely at us, and seeing as we had to move somewhat often, it would upset her to form attachments only to break them before long, but now, with a human mate, it was all the permission she needed to throw herself headfirst into the mortal world.

I, on the other hand, felt rather indifferent to interacting with humans. Sure, I could befriend them—and I'd even come to care for some of them—but I didn't feel the aching need to have them in my life the way Alice did. Well, except for one.

I glanced over to where Edward still crouched by Emmett, his back to me. His head was bent forward slightly to better hear the conversation over the blaring music, giving me a better view of the nape of his neck. I had developed a strange fixation with that particular spot; I'd run my hands over it for hours, usually as Edward slept. I lost myself staring at my mate's lean, long back, the strong column of his neck; the light reflected subtly off his bronze hair, and it held my gaze like a mirage.

The sight of Edward had me so entranced, in fact, that I didn't notice when the cup Alice had been holding—for the sake of appearances—slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor, spilling its contents all over Lauren.

My eyes dashed to hers in alarm, and I instantly knew she was not in the present. A look of horror spread over her face as she witnessed whatever it was, and I knew I had to act quickly before others noticed.

"Is she okay?" Angela asked, her voice full of concern.

"Had a little too much to drink, Alice?" I chuckled stiffly. She didn't respond, or even look at me. "Excuse us; I think she needs to lie down for a minute," I said, turning to the two baffled girls. "Come on, Alice, let's go to Emmett's room; you can lie down in there." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and dragged her away.

Once we were in the hallway and out of sight, I rushed her into Emmett's room and locked the door behind us. I sat down on the bed and pulled Alice down with me, shaking her shoulders slightly when she still seemed unresponsive.

Suddenly, she started rocking back and forth, moaning brokenly, "No, no, no, no…"

"Alice, what do you see?" I asked forcefully. I was on the verge of panicking. She was having a strong reaction to whatever she was seeing, and it obviously was nothing good. Her face was stricken with grief.

After a brief moment, her eyes refocused and fastened on mine; if she could, Alice would be crying. "Their parents, Bella. They're dead." Her voice was raspy and hollow.

"Whose parents, Alice? What did you see?" I asked in a softer tone.

"Jasper and Edward's. The Masens are dead."

"What? How? Who? We have to get over there!" I jumped from the bed, racing for the door, but Alice made no move to follow me. It was then I realized she had used the _present_ tense when describing a vision. "Alice, what do you mean, _they're dead?_"I asked slowly.

I stood by the door, my hand still on the doorknob. Alice lifted her head heavily, as if she'd exerted a great effort to do so. "The vision came to me within seconds of it actually happening. Whoever did this made no prior decision, just acted in the spur of the moment."

Willing myself to move away from the door, I walked back to Alice and knelt in front of her; she was hunched in on herself, the horror of what she'd seen bearing down on her tiny shoulders. "Who was it? Where were they?"

"In their home. And they weren't murdered by a human. Whoever it was, I couldn't see a face, but the act itself is unmistakable. They were both badly beaten, and…and drained." Alice's voice faltered on the last word. She was consumed by an unspeakable grief, and I knew precisely why, because it was the same reason I, too, felt it. Her Jasper would suffer immensely once he knew, as would my Edward.

Standing up, I tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her head in a soothing manner. While Alice couldn't yet see past the sorrow, my mind worked furiously over the paltry details she'd given me. She said they were badly beaten before being drained. Why? Vampires didn't usually play such games with their meals; they couldn't stand to do so. Once we tasted the faintest scent of blood in the air, the frenzy became unstoppable, and beating the victim to a pulp before drinking would make no sense. Someone sending a message, perhaps? If so, who?

_Volturi._

It didn't quite seem their style, but I supposed this particular situation involving Edward, Alice, and me was rather unprecedented. Perhaps we couldn't trust whatever we thought we knew.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit Carlisle's number on speed dial. Quickly explaining the situation to him, I finished with a request. "Please, Carlisle, go to the Masens' home and look for any clues or scents to indicate who could have done this. Then call in an anonymous tip to the police so they can be found. They shouldn't be left there…" I pushed the image I'd conjured of the Masens' drained, broken bodies out of my mind.

"Of course, Bella. Call me back in two hours; I should know something by then. Are you going to tell Jasper and Edward?"

"I…I don't know yet. I need to speak to Alice about it. I'll talk to you soon. And thank you," I whispered into the phone.

Carlisle's voice was pained as we ended the call. "Don't mention it, child. Take care of Alice."

I pocketed the phone and turned back to Alice, who hadn't moved at all. "Alice, maybe we should tell them? So they can be prepared."

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "We can't, Bella. If we do, they'll go tearing off to the house. It would look much too suspicious for them to know of their parents murder before the police could notify them, and they'd be taken in for questioning as suspects. They can't know yet."

Nodding, I bit my lip in distress. "Then that means we need to pretend everything is all right for now, and we need to get back to the party before they realize we're missing and come looking for us."

Alice finally stood up, closing her eyes and running her fingers over her temples, willing her feelings to subside so she could play the part of her usual bubbly, cheery self. After a beat, her eyes snapped open, and a smile appeared on her lips. Only I knew what it cost her to put it there. "I'm ready."

We left the room, quietly stealing back to the party. Glancing around, I spotted Edward standing by the stereo with Jasper, Emmett, and another boy whose name I didn't know. Edward's head was thrown back in earnest laughter, his eyes a bright, sea foam green, glinting with amusement. He looked so carefree, so light. My heart clenched with the knowledge that soon, much too soon, that joy would be stolen from him. Much too soon, he would know pain and loss.

A memory ran unbidden through my mind. A poetry reading I attended with my mother in the early 40's in an old, rundown theater. The poet had a quivery, mournful tone as she read the verses that now rang in my ears.

_Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age_

_The child is grown, and puts away childish things._

_Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies._

_Nobody that matters, that is. Distant relatives of course_

_Die, whom one never has seen or has seen for an hour,_

_And they gave one candy in a pink-and-green stripéd bag, or a jack-knife,_

_And went away, and cannot really be said to have lived at all._

_Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies that matters,_

—_mothers and fathers don't die._

Soon, much too soon, Edward would be flung from the kingdom face-first into the stark reality that the people who brought him into the world—to me—were no more.

He caught my eye then, his lips parting in a genuine, brilliant smile—the last I would see for a while. No shadow of death yet marred his beautiful face, and in that moment, white-hot fury surged through me for all that he would inevitably endure, and for my utter impotence in the face of his impending anguish. I could not protect him from any of it.

His eyes remained fastened on mine, his warm smile still beaming at me. But I could not return it.

* * *

**A/N: The poem may sound familiar ;) It's by Edna St. Vincent Millay, one of my all-time favorites. I didn't use it here in its entirety, but I encourage you to look it up. It's heartbreakingly beautiful.**

**Leave me a review, I love those things!**


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